It may not seem fair to some people but they need to understand that there are individuals who want absolute submission to people that want absolute control.
This is true, but quite often people who speak against those things are actually wrestling with their own desires and needs against the expectations of society. This is a way for them to bring that struggle out in the open and find others who can validate it.
My precious little girl.
“Thank you sir”
You’re such a good girl.
I like the connection we have.
“Who am I to you?”
“You’re my master. You’re my world.”
You’re mine, my little slave. Now and forever.
I’m a romantic.
I like long walks on the beach after filling her shoes with sharp rocks. I like sunsets while painfully slapping her sunburnt skin until she screams. I like holding hands while dunking her face in the ocean and holding it under while she struggles to breathe.
A man after my own heart.
To open the garage door or not…
Holy fuck this would terrify me, like I’d be SO NERVOUS ABOUT THAT DOOR… But shit, it makes me wet just thinking about the power play that this could bring on.
You tell me I wouldn’t dare. The opener whirrs loudly, and you feel the cold air swirl about your toes. It’s only an inch, but you are terrified.
You look back at me, standing there with a shit eating grin on my face. “Please… I didn’t mean to…” WHIRRR! The door opens to knee height.
You turn around, trying to hide yourself. I grab you and violently turn you back. We struggle as you protest, and then I grab you by the hair and whisper softly in your ear.
“Better start behaving or else I’ll whip you in front of everyone. That’s a promise.”
The fight in you dies, and you turn around to face the door.
To open the garage door or not…
Needs versus Wants
There is a big difference between a need and a want. As a submissive, I find it very hard sometimes to distinguish between what I truly need, and what I really, really, really want.
I need to be controlled. It is a part of who I am. I want to be used. It is not a need. I may want it very badly, and I may crave it and yearn for it, but I don’t technically need it.
One thing that I have noticed is that the more you want something, you start to convince yourself that you need it. We don’t need most of the things we want.
As a submissive, I struggle with establishing within myself what I need versus what I want. Therefore, I struggle with conveying that information to my Sir @sirknottykl. It’s easy to say I need to submit, I need to give up control, I need structure and rules and guidance. It’s easy to say I need to be used, I need to be fucked, I need to feel pain. However, how much of that do I truly need and how much of it do I just really want? Sometimes something can be a need and then turn into a want later and vice versa. How do we keep it straight?
I need to be controlled, yes. That is a given. I need to submit, this is also a given. Those two are pretty much always going to be needs. They are part of who I am, just as much as the fact that I will always like women and men because I am bisexual. I want rules. I like knowing what is and is not expected of me, but I do not need them. I want discipline. I want to be fucked like a whore. I don’t need it, no matter how much in the heat of the moment I scream that I need it.
Pain… Pain is a tougher concept. I want pain sometimes, but sometimes I need pain. Sometimes pain helps me to deal with things that are too difficult for me to process, and, in those times, I really do need pain, and it is my job to tell my Sir that because, as much as we sometimes wish they were, Dominants are not mind readers.
When something that is a want changes into a need, it is the submissive’s job to explain that transition to her Dominant. When something that you once needed turns into something that you merely want, it is your responsibility to explain that to your Dominant also.
Knowing the difference between your wants and needs is only part of the puzzle. The other part is communicating that information to your Dominant so that they can make sure your needs are met, and, if you’re lucky, your wants are being met too.
I know, I for one am still learning what my wants are versus my needs, but I have an amazing Owner who helps me along the way. He reminds me that just because I want something doesn’t mean I need it. He reminds me that just because I may not like the fact that I need something doesn’t mean that I don’t need it.
We all have wants and needs. Have you discussed yours lately?
Communication: The relationship lubricant.
It’s on both to apply it liberally.
She’d be lost without me.
That sublime, magical moment.
Your last free decision.
The moment I take you.
The moment I lock you.
The moment you become my property.
Those are the eyes I like to see.
in an hour she’ll be begging.
MOEBIUS (Jean Giraud) illustration from ANGEL CLAWS written by Alejandro Jodorowsky
I provide everything for her happiness.
Your obedience is your greatest asset.
Hey man. Would u ever be interested in having a man as your bitch as well as a woman
Nope. Women only.
That hardly seems fair
Of course it’s fair! It’s a very equitable relationship.
We share responsibilities: I’m in charge of making the rules. You’re in charge of obeying them.
Would you ever submit to someone else? I mean, like, a switch or something?
I want control. Complete and total control.
A good attitude starts with good posture.
She always has a place in my house.
Ain’t she cute?
I will humiliate you, tease you, torment you, fuck you, whip you, restrain you, torture you, dominate you…
But I will not forsake you.
Always on duty
Did you really keep slaves in that small blue puppy cage overnight? Could they get any sleep?
Yes, I did. It’s on her to get her sleep. I’ll still continue training the next day.
Hey so uhm I'm 18 and I've been looking for a daddy for quite a while would you happen to have any recommendations for personality types I should be looking for or age? Most men around my age see it as purely a dominance thing and don't give me the gentle attention I crave afterwards 😔
I think that the problem is largely maturity related. Younger men usually haven’t found their place in the world, and are therefore less secure. The less secure you are, the greater the need to impress everyone to compensate for your insecurity. This always takes the form of outward facing aspects like raw dominance, sexual prowess, physical strength, etc. It’s not until one becomes more secure (through political and social acumen, and power) that one is even able to slow down enough to see the richness of the field, let alone partake of it. The softer aspects of love are all but invisible to the insecure.
I think you would do well to catalog what you consider the most important aspects of a dd/lg relationship, since it’s so wide. There are many things you may like that he doesn’t, or vice versa. For example, stuffies, candy, baby talk, sitting in his lap, corner time, or maybe the more intense stuff like diapers and cribs. You’d want to explore these in your own mind so that you can compare to anyone you meet. By their words their nature is gradually exposed. The more words, the more deeply you can see.
Also, be patient! It takes quite awhile for good doms and subs to find each other. The world is full of jerks on both sides, and they’re clever devils!
Devotionals are things for a slave to meditate upon, to keep her head free of clutter and confusion. You can think of them as almost like mantras. It is helpful to meditate upon them them while doing tasks for master.
- I belong to Master and exist to serve him faithfully.
- Master’s collar marks the beginning of my sacred journey as a real slave.
- Master’s discipline corrects and guides me on my journey to become his perfect possession.
- I am a living sacrifice to Master.
- I worship Master. I worship Master’s body. I worship Master’s cock.
- My place is on my knees before master. It is a privilege and honor to serve him.
- My greatest pleasure is knowing that I have pleased Master.
- I am Master’s greatest treasure. I strive to improve myself for him.
- I was born a slave in my heart. I am grateful to Master for granting me the freedom to live it.
- Master’s discipline keeps me on the righteous path.
- Master has chosen to train me, and I am grateful.
- I am always in training. There is always something new to learn.
- My bonds free me from the worries of the world.
- Master takes my burdens so that I can be my true self.
- Master’s needs always come first.
- I am a sensual and sexual being. Master has unlocked this in me and celebrates it with me.
- My greatest desire is to please Master.
- I am always in submission to Master.
- Crying is not a sign of weakness; it is a sign of submission of my most personal and sacred self to Master. Tears must not be hidden from him, for they glorify him.
- I fear no other power, for Master rules me.
- I must always be respectful to Master, even when I’m having a bad day.
- The chains I wear are a sign of master’s investment in me and my bondage to him. They are to be worn with pride.
- The purpose of my holes is to bring pleasure to Master.
Rules cover more specific cases. They’re not comprehensive, nor are they meant to be. Slavery is an approach to life, and rules, protocols, and core values are designed to guide a slave in that life.
The specific rules of a relationship will always depend on the two people entering into it, but there are a few core rules that I always enforce:
- I must not hesitate in responding to Master or carrying out his orders.
- When speaking to Master, I must be specific and succinct in my wording.
- I must communicate my needs to Master. Master decides how and when I may act upon them.
- If I am confused, I must ask for clarification.
- I am not to pleasure myself without Master’s permission. A slave’s pleasure is a privilege, not a right.
- Master decides what I will wear.
- I am to confess any wrongdoing to Master as soon as possible, and accept his punishment to correct my disobedience and bring forgiveness.
- I must thank Master when he disciplines me. His punishments are just, and are for my edification.
The core values determine what are the most fundamental aspects of our relationship. When considering what to do, a slave will first consider the rules, then the protocol, then the core values. If she is still unsure, she asks Master.
- Master comes first.
- As a slave, I have no rights, possessions, or property.
- Anything Master gives me is a privilege that can be taken away.
- My mind, body, and soul are entirely the property of Master.
- My entire purpose is to serve, obey, and please Master in any way I can.
- I remain in submission to Master even when he is not present.
- I am Master’s ambassador to the world. Everything I say or do reflects upon him.
- Master’s rule is absolute and inviolable. His word is final.
- Master is my strength and my security. Master decides my worth. No one elses’ opinions matter.
- Master disciplines me for my edification and growth, and I am grateful to him.
- Master’s justice and discipline must supersede Master’s love.
I don’t think I’ve posted this yet, but someone asked so here it is:
Many doms have a huge laundry list of rules. I have about 10 specific ones, but they don’t cover what I expect of her in general. I use the concept of protocols to lay down how she is to behave. This makes things a LOT simpler all around. Some protocols are assumed based on the situation. Others I will invoke by telling her which to follow. Medium is the default protocol unless I say otherwise.
- Complete attention and focus, no matter what the distractions.
- Absolute and instantaneous obedience, without delay, hesitation or question (except to clarify).
- No extraneous movement, speech, or thought.
- All privileges are suspended.
- Every move, answer, and behavior is being carefully scrutinized and judged.
- Respectful words and tone, and deferential behavior.
- Awareness and anticipation of Master’s needs, wants, and desires.
- Similar to how a butler would behave.
- For Master or kink-friendly guests.
- Speak freely, but always be respectful.
- Service in an unobtrusive fashion (service to Master and hospitality for guests).
- For non kink-friendly people.
- Add a little silliness and fun.
- Speak freely, even if it’s a little disrespectful.
- Teasing is OK, but keep it civil.
- Anything can be said without consequences.
- For use only when something cannot be solved at any other level.
Now I’m going to demonstrate just how much of a slut you are. The cunt doesn’t lie, babe. There is NOTHING you can hide from me. I will find it and I will draw it out.
I bring her to her most beautiful.
Chains are simple.
Life in them is simple.
From friends with benefits to summer flings to casual hookups, it seemed like I would never find a man who wanted to commit himself to loving me and taking on the handful I know I can be.
Then along came Daddy.
I have never felt more immediately comfortable than the first time I met Him. I was nervous as hell in the minutes leading up to it, but the instant I saw Him walking across the parking lot toward me I couldn’t contain my happiness. I can’t believe that was 4 months ago already. At the same time, I can’t believe its only been 4 months since our first date, 5 months since we began getting to know each other.
Some people might look at that time frame and roll their eyes wondering how could we possibly be so obsessed with each other already, and before I met Daddy and experienced this rom-com-esque connection and fall into love, I would have been among them. I was constantly doubting the existence of true love and the epitome of single and bitter. But I know what I have with Daddy is special because I’ve already forgotten everything that ever made me unhappy in relationships, trust issues I’ve built and maintained for years, resentments I just couldn’t let go of. None of it matters anymore. Not now that I’m blissfully happy, madly in love, and completely and totally secure in my relationship.
With Daddy, I’m safe to express my feelings in a way I’ve never been before.
When you’re in a friends-with-benefits situation, there is constant fear that he’ll find out how much you truly care for him. And yet, despite the fear, and despite the fact that he refuses to talk to you or even look at you in public, there is constant hope. And that hope turns into hurting because you finally realized (after 3 years, not my finest moment…) that he doesn’t even have a basic level of respect for you, let alone any sort of romantic feelings.
Summer flings. Whether you’re at summer camp, vacation, or just hanging out at home enjoying your break from school, there’s one thing we all know about summer flings. They end. You’ve had a great few months, maybe even developed real feelings for him, but it doesn’t matter.
When the air starts to cool, the leaves start to change, and bathing suits are replaced by school uniforms, summer’s over and so is your fling.
With Daddy I’m safe to tell Him exactly how much He means to me. I can tell Him every day how much I love Him without worrying that He will run away. I can talk about our future without scaring Him off. I can give everything that my heart has to offer without being scared that it will be turned away. Daddy takes what I offer Him, and gives me back everything I need, everything I could have ever asked for, everything I never thought I’d get from a man.
Though I usually like to write about @sccwriting‘s prompts, this post came by request from Daddy, who asked me to reflect on the definition of a relationship.
Words from the heart have a fragile beauty.
Nature knows best!
I make sure she stays out of trouble while I’m out.
Greetings, I have read most of your advice posts. I must say that while I don't "need" them it was still a very nice read and, in a way, makes me feel connected to you. This may sound unnecessarily personal from a total stranger but some of your life experiences just resonate with mine and I also agree to a huge extent to what you tell to those seeking help. I felt like sharing this given that it's so rare to find the "right" persons, even across the Atlantic ocean. Have a nice day.
That’s one thing I’ve definitely noticed: We are scattered across the globe, and while there are online communities of sorts, there doesn’t seem to be anything that truly resonates.
I’ve been thinking a lot about this recently, and I’ve come to the conclusion that online community is not enough; we need physical community. I’m a few months away from securing 70 acres of land upon which I will build my house and the world’s best training facility. I’m thinking elegant, dress-up affairs like dinners and evening parties. I’m thinking slave quarters. I’m thinking indoor and outdoor training equipment. I even have a number of ideas for new BDSM equipment that nobody has ever seen or even conceived of before.
I’m finally realizing what all of my electrical, programming, leatherwork, woodwork, metalwork and welding have been leading up to. It’s finally clear why I’ve felt this burning urge to expand my formal wear collection to the point that it won’t fit into two double closets. It makes perfect sense now why I’ve developed an obsession for a fully stocked kitchen.
Over the next 3 years I will build this place, and it will form the cornerstone of the physical community we’ve all been denied.
Just wait there. I’ll get the nipple clamps.
Suffer for me. Your body is a sacrifice to your master.
Words escape her.
My obedient girl. For her I’ll move mountains.
Surrender is beauty.
Let me show you the world in my eyes.
Giving her some stick!
Nowhere to go.