July 2016

I'm sorry things didn't work out with you and Meatball. I do hope you find another sub soon. I really like your blog BTW😊😊

Thanks. One way or another I’ll find her, or she’ll find me. Meantime I’ve got my hands pretty full finishing up the move in.

No matter how bad my day’s been, it’s nice to know she’s waiting for me to come home.

I unlock her inhibitions, and she is grateful.

It’s her place.

Only she can fill it.

No one else will do.

Come on, cunt! We’ve got work to do.

Fuck it hurts breaking up :’-(

We’ve got a long way to go, cunt.

Sing for me.

Sometimes it’s fun to just sit back and watch her.

Ahh, farms!

So much potential!

So much possibility!

You’re my good girl, aren’t you?

The first morning overlooking my land :)

How many of you get wet at the idea of men wanting you so badly that they’ll bid against one other to own you?

Just moved into the farm I bought.

This has been years in the making. I can hardly believe I finally made it happen…

Sir, are you okay? You haven't posted in a few days so I got worried.

Been busy getting my new place. See next post.

She makes the prettiest expressions!

Good girls get rewarded.

Training.

The good slut.

The Feminist Trap

I believe that many of the modern offshoots of feminism have done us a great disservice. It’s to the point where almost nobody can even agree upon what feminism actually stands for. But it’s really quite simple. At the core, feminism is about self-determination, and the removal of artificial barriers to that self-determination. It’s just that we seem to have forgotten that.

Feminism’s roots lie in the late 17th century. At that time, a woman’s safety, welfare, in fact her entire future, was completely dependent upon a man being around to protect her. An unprotected woman would very soon find her property taken, and herself likely violated, and then either killed, cast out, or sold. So it was natural for her to seek out a man for protection, as she had done since the dawn of mankind.

But the 17th century brought with it a revolution: the musket. On top of being more reliable and cheaper to build than its predecessor, the musket could pierce steel armor at 30 yards. As the century progressed, and more and more armies incorporated the weapon, heavy steel armor became less and less useful, and by the end of the century it was all but gone.

Now this is important for two reasons:

  1. The gun made it possible to employ lethal force without requiring physical strength.
  2. The gun nullified the protection of heavy armor, which required great strength to wear.

The gun was the great equalizer. No longer was killing a monopoly of the strong; anyone, man or woman, with a modicum of training, could now be lethal.

Now, this radically changes the equation. When a woman is capable of defending herself against even the strongest of men, the old laws of nature fall away. Of course, culture always lags behind reality. And then there’s still the problem of food production.

Food production up until the 20th century was all but impossible without men. Running a plow simply required too much physical strength. That largely changed in the late 19th century with the advent of the gasoline powered tractor. Now anyone could plow a field. Granted, early tractors were clunky and still required strength to maintain and hook up. But innovation soon caught up, and now men no longer held a monopoly on food production. It’s interesting to note that this coincided with women’s suffrage. The tractor also reduced the amount of manpower needed to operate a farm, meaning that more people could move to the cities.

The 1920s brought the first wave of consumerism on the coattails of the first world war. The exuberance was quickly curtailed by the great depression, but revived once again in the late 1940s with the production boom from the second world war. The war also brought about a social change. With all the men off fighting, women had to fill in to maintain production and keep the war machine going. Culture shifted to accommodate, and women were more accepted in the workplace. The second consumerist wave following the war brought with it so many innovations and gadgets for the home that people found themselves unable to keep up with their material desires. Women started working part time in order to afford the luxuries of the home of tomorrow. Employers liked women because they were educated, worked for low wages, and didn’t care much about job security.

By the 1950s, consumerism had pushed household debt to income ratios as high as 40%, and to over 60% by the 1960s. Supplemental incomes became necessary incomes. Suddenly, women DID care about job security. But job security only comes through social and legal change, which requires political power. By the late 1960s, more and more women were claiming that power, and using it to further safeguard their participation in the workforce, as well as a number of other longstanding issues.

Coming back to the present, we have women empowered in most (though not yet all) aspects of life. As I said before, culture lags behind reality. But, alas, the law of unintended consequences reigns supreme. Somewhere along the way, feminism mutated. In order to encourage more women to claim their rights, it became common to portray them differently in the media: powerful, independent, able to do anything on their own. This soon morphed into a narrative that women don’t need men at all; that men were simply a drag on society; that the world would be a better place if it were run by women. The buffoonery of Lucile Ball gave way to the buffoonery of Homer Simpson, until every family comedy show was about childish, immature men, and the women who manage them and hold the world together. Aspirations in the workforce became requirements. Women now faced societal expectations to be “power moms”: high powered executives by day and perfect mothers by night. They were expected to run the household (because men were useless), AND bring home the bacon (because women are equal, and to not have an income AT LEAST equal to that of your husband meant that you simply weren’t doing your part for your gender), AND maintain a perfect complexion. A woman choosing a traditional role is simply unthinkable; tantamount to treason.

And so, here we sit, in a world where once again women are not allowed to choose their destiny. Except this time, it’s not the men holding them back from their dreams and aspirations; it’s the women.

Goodnight, honey. Sleep tight.

I just can’t help myself!

You’re so pretty when you scream.

Show me how good you are at cleaning it.

Excuse me, sir, but I've been reading your blog for a long time, and I've been wanting to explore my submissive side, but I've never been able to find someone who is real. If you don't mind my asking, how do you find people?

I’ll say this: It’s not easy. Not by a long shot. Everyone here knows what I offer. Plenty have been disappointed that they’re too far away to accept. It’s a simple matter of numbers. I’m a solid member of a minority within a minority; the first level minority being kinky BDSM people, and the second level being those who live the lifestyle for real, consciously understanding and exploring what they are. My chances of finding her are astronomically small by default, so I try to stack the odds in my favor wherever I can.

I publish my innermost thoughts and drives. Only a girl who gets wet reading my words would ever consider contacting me. I study psychology, to learn what makes a submissive tick, to learn what drives her, to learn myself, and what drives me. I won’t leave compatibility to chance. I get out there, to the cafes, to the libraries, to the checkout stands, looking for the telltale signs that set a true submissive apart. When I find such a girl, I gently introduce her to my world. At worst, she awakens, and desires something that I’m not. It’s a rare treat to see a girl discover a new part of herself, so I consider this a privilege. At best, she will turn out to be “her”.

In short, I have a game plan, and I’m always executing on it. All it requires is patience and perseverance.

If she lives in Kamloops, I will find her. If not, she’ll find me.

The random thoughts of a classically Dominant sadist #2.

that-devil-just-smiled:

I recently saw a tumblr post that caused me to pick up a piece of myself and look at it.  The post was a standard degrader Dominant image where the girl on her knees had cum/cock smeared on her face and the wording read-

Always Remember…

You are not worthy of respect

You are a worthless cunt

You are brainless

You are just a set of holes

Degradation play I thoroughly enjoy it, I have a need for it. It’s intimate (if done right) and psychological, sadistic. But it is an interesting thing for me to process. Because the “I want to feel like shit because I’m a bad girl that needs to be put in her place” has zero appeal to me. I’m also not into the “I’m going to make you feel like shit” play because it makes me feel superior. What I am into is observing. Oh look I see what’s happening over there in your head again, “I’m a worthless piece of shit a fucking dummy.” I see what you’re doing to yourself. Come here. If you’re going to let that in then I’m going to force it in your face, down your throat and into your brain. Because that “IS” a need for me, to drive you to confront your turbulent corners. So why was that wording so interesting to me? It’s not because I need to say it or because I need her to hear it from me. It’s interesting because I need her to have believed it, once or all her life. I need my cruelty to bring her “back” to her lowest point because in her mind by nature or nurture she already brings herself to that lowest point. No matter the details as to why she isn’t good enough, worthless or disposable; she is comfortable with that idea. She needs to be there and to break out of it she needs to confront it. Naturally when I bring it all to the surface and hold those details up to her face and bring all her dark little memories and thoughts out into the light our experience will initially make her feel like shit. She will be shamed and ridiculed by me and by herself simultaneously. But that for me is the point. That is the “why,” because when we find what rock bottom is and scrape at it we can build up from there. I want to echo the pain in her life. I want to echo the hurt that was thrown at her and the hurt she threw at herself.  So I can build upward from it.  Do I enjoy when she confronts her pain? Yes, after all I am a sadist and enjoy watching her soak in the suffering. But more so I’m a Dominant Daddy that wants to pull her up, that wants the best for her so I want her to be stronger and much more solid afterward. The Marquis de Sade said it’s by way of pain one arrives at pleasure. So the way I give pain when I desire and as is needed to strengthen pleasure shouldn’t I also give cruel degradation when I desire and as is needed to strengthen warm affection.

I couldn’t have put it better myself.

Deeper Dominance

Any asshole can tie a girl up, whip, vibe, and fuck her. Some of them, after they get good enough at it, even open a porn studio so they can do the same superficial shit over and over. This is what people seem to call “dominance” these days. I guess that’s what happens when you move further towards the mainstream.

It’s a shame, because the girls are getting nothing more than the fast-food experience. Yes, it’s lasting long enough for them to cum (which is at least an improvement over wham-bam-thank-you-maam), but so what? It’s so devoid of emotional meaning that I feel sorry for them (which, incidentally, makes it really hard to get off to the porn).

I need a strong emotional connection, or else I can’t even get hard. When she’s at my feet, covered in welts, broken, sobbing, cunt dripping, kissing my cock with her gentle lips in gratitude for what I’ve just done to her, I want her more than anything else in the world. When she’s so desperate to please me that she’ll suffer any indignity to prove it, my heart melts. When I’m holding her in my arms, drying her tears and whispering softly to her what a good girl she is as I gently kiss her and love her, I would give anything to make the moment last.

I want her soul, raw, exposed, laid bare. That is the most precious thing in the world. That is what I would love, cherish, and move heaven and earth to protect. Such a treasured possession I would relinquish to no one.

Show me how grateful you are that I keep you so well.

I need some serious advice. I've been lying to my best friend for a year and a half about my boyfriend's age - she thinks he is only five years older than us when the difference is actually 15. I have done so because she thinks huge age gaps are disgusting and I had just been outcast by my family for that reason. I was scared. The three of us are all friends and hang out, but she doesn't suspect anything. I'm scared about her reaction when she eventually finds out. The guilt is killing me.

I had similar issues with Meatball. She was 18 and I 41. I made no secret of it, and peoples reactions were very telling, ranging from “that’s disgusting” to “you’re a predator” to “dayum boy!”

And all of their reactions were hurtful, with its implication of me taking advantage of some innocent defenseless girl.

People will think they need to protect you, and there’s little you can do about that besides just living your life with him and letting others see how you are together. My friends and family eventually warmed to the idea, but it takes time. Ultimately, you’ll be compelled to tell your friend, and she’ll probably freak out, but since she already knows him and what he’s like, it’ll make getting over the initial shock a lot easier.

Be prepared for a freak out, maybe even a distancing between you and your friend. But that will be temporary. Don’t blame her or get angry. Be gentle and patient. She’s your friend. She’ll come around.

You’re such a good girl!

How to Take Proper Care of Your Dom

subgirlygirl:

“Recently I had a new friend ask me, in a frustrated moment, “How do you take care of a Dom?!?” I took a moment an asked him what was wrong. He filled me in that he was in the loving throes of a brand new D/s dynamic…his first of it’s kind. We talked for a long while and I gave him my knee jerk reaction. I’ve been captivated by the topic ever since. I wanted to create a guideline for myself on how to take care of a Dominant. I consider those I submit to to be extraordinary. These are singular men. I want to make sure that they know that I know that I’ve found something rare and precious in him.

I was struck by the question. I realized right then and there that this was an excellent query, worth more than a moment’s consideration. There are many posts on taking proper care of your sub, aftercare, taking feelings into account during play…and I realized there were far fewer on how we, as submissives, should care for our Dominants. Let’s consider who we’re talking about. Whether we’re talking about Male or Female Dominants we are talking about people. Full-fledged every day folk who have bad days, good days, up and down days, and every other kind of day that you have as a submissive…person.

Dominants are expected to be strong. We hope they’re strong enough to guide us/ care for us on our journey…such trust there is in a D/s relationship! In power exchange slowly I _get to_ hand over the power I have over myself and my decisions to him. Why? Because he’s worth it. Because I trust him enough to give everything I have/am to him. I watch him, please him, love him…what pressure our loving Masters must be under!! I realized that having someone watch me lead by example and hand their body to me for safekeeping…would eventually feel like pressure. The pressure to never fail, never have a bad moment, and often we hold them to superhuman standards. Most days they succeed in being our Supermen. Most days we get to adore them and give ourselves over completely to their (our) most delicious secrets/ desire/ needs…but what about the bad days?

What about the day Daddy comes home from work after getting laid off? Maybe just a writeup or a speeding ticket? Something human…just a bad day. On that day how do we care for them? How do we show them that we care about their feelings too? The first is to remember they are human and have feelings and that BDSM is work. We choose to live in an intense world full of intense dynamics.

Why? it’s worth it.

For the Dominant side…they make the decisions. Decisions are hard work. Remember when I said “get to” give away decisions…some days i don’t want to decide squat. They put work into scene ideas, often they buy/make/carry all the toys and use you. They also have a vested interest in who you are and your personal well being. It seems like caring for a very rare, very fun, very high maintenance pet. Sometimes they need a breather. I can completely understand why. Has anyone ever owned a large cat? They take hours of care a day. They eat more than you can imagine. They can eat you. I still think they’re a lot less maintenance than a full time submissive. We need to, as submissives, be aware of how much work goes into BDSM - emotionally and physically - for both sides. We’re not the only ones baring our souls here.

I realized it’s so simple and elegant…and Dominants are often easier than vanilla guys to care for. Why? Because most of the time they’ll tell you what they want. Simplicity…for the sake of the post I’m speaking of male Dominants. What are they? Men. People. Take care of them in special ways specific to your dynamic…and then do something else. Take into consideration that these men may just want to cuddle and lie on the couch. Do his laundry for him or make a special meal. Cut him some slack to be human. Be there for him…that’s what we get to do to thank them for what they do for us. Act like a particularly subbie girlfriend…remember when we fawned over and woo'ed our men?

Be open and honest in your communication. If you don’t tell him what you need he will not know intrinsically. You must be willing to be brave and emotionally vulnerable to truly care for your Dominant and to honestly expect him to take care of you. If you are available in every way then you will learn what he needs even on the days when he doesn’t feel so Domly. Sometimes a gentle hug or a sweet kiss…no lusty overtones…just a kiss to say “I empathize…I’m sorry you’re having a bad day…I’m here for you if you need me for anything.”

Allow him to talk to you…and be interested. We get the lion’s share of the attention in this dynamic. When he’s emotionally drained or just kinda mentally beat up then we should help to recharge him. If he needs to talk allow him the space to vent. Even if it’s about you. Sometimes it’s as simple as giving him time to play his video games or something fun and mundane like getting out of town with friends. We live in an intense world full of intense interactions and intense protocol…and once in awhile everyone needs a break.

If he’s tired/drained/done with this day…don’t pressure him to play. How would you feel if your cat died and he came home and anally raped you because he happened to have had a bad day too? I would feel bad about it…on top of which my freaking cat died…worse day. I hate feeling pressured…constricted…micromanaged. If I hate it odds are good he does too.

Don’t nag or pressure. Don’t act out for attention because you want it when he doesn’t have the emotional energy to give it to you. Give him a break. let the man eat a cheeseburger and watch a ballgame without having to put on his superhero cape. If you’re good to him and help his heart heal maybe he’ll put his cape back on tomorrow. Today, love this human being who is such a rare and precious find.

Live in your moment. Remember that you never get this time back. You get the future. Enjoy it. Enjoy him. Enjoy every bit of intimacy you explore. Remember that if he has a bad day and you treat him with respect, empathy, kindness…he’s likely to do the same for you when you let your best friend cut your hair and you end up with a mullet. Bad days happen for us all. If we’re really lucky we have someone’s support to help us through. This is universal and applies to both sides of the slash.

Recognize he’s human.
Recognize that BDSM is intense and it is work.
Be empathetic, kind, and available.
Remember that you’re _getting to_ give your decisions away…just like your submission is a gift - as is his Dominance.

Live in this moment and recognize it’s a fleeting thing. This moment never comes around again. How you behave will shape your future. Remember that every action has an opposite reaction. Ripples in a pond.“

Beautifully written by Svana (Posted to Fetlife; must have an account to view)

My master is asking me to get creative and find toys for me to play on him. I'm coming up with a blank! 😔 Any suggestions for His request?

I’ve got a very perverted mind, so turning daily items into toys comes easily to me. I doubt he’s looking for that level from you, though. Likely it’s an exercise in humiliating yourself before him by coming up with a torment he’ll use on you.

Here’s an idea: Open random drawers in the house and examine the contents. Take the things out one at a time, and with each piece, think to yourself: “If he were to use this on me in some way, what would his sick & twisted mind come up with?” The more humiliated you feel, the better the toy.

Some examples:

Role Models

This question was posed to me via IM, and my answer got a little long, so I’m posting it here instead.

The question:

I have a son and a daughter, my sub has a daughter. Whilst I know that D/s is the lifstyle for us, I am not sure I want to be a rolemodel showing off male dominance and female submission to our kids. It is not a thing for everyone to live by. They will see it anyway in one way or another, because the see, feel and swallow everything that happens in the household. But I do not like to predistinguish the way they want to lead their lives. And this actually is a hard one to live by, when you are into D/s and kinky……don’t you think?

My answer:

One problem with nuclear family arrangements is that the kids are not exposed to multiple parenting styles or lifestyles.

A very big part of growing up is supposed to be the realization: “Other people are not the same as me.” It’s shocking how often you see adults behaving as if everyone else had the exact same motives and drives as they do. I don’t think the “golden rule” movement has helped any in this regard, since it does nothing more than teach kids to simplify rule systems to an unhealthy degree, and let them believe that critical thought is not necessary for life’s most important moral decisions.

We have many different kinds of people, different in so many ways, with often opposing preferences and motivations. An extrovert employing the “golden rule” to an introvert would smother him. An introvert applying it to an extrovert would come off as cold, disinterested, and unfriendly.

The same goes for dominance and submission. One person always takes the dominant position in any group of two or more, whether it’s only slight, or extreme. There’s a right way and a wrong way to dominate (as all good doms know). Domination through coercion is the lazy, and ultimately destructive way, so naturally it falls upon you as parents to demonstrate each and every day the right way.

Part of the problem, I think, is another partial-lie we feed our kids: Mom & dad are equal in every way. Not true. One is more dominant, and takes the dominant position. They are NOT equal, and it is NOT ordained that the man takes the dominant position. Many don’t.

I believe it is our responsibility to impress upon our kids that it is personality and individual make up, NOT gender, that ultimately decides what kind of relationship, what kind of lifestyle, and what kind of partner is most suitable, whether that be vanilla or kinky, straight or gay, or any other of the myriad “kinds” of people, for want of a better word. Maybe “facet” is better, since each person is a mix of any number of traits you can come up with, and many forms of compatibility and possible incompatibility with whomever they’re considering.

So what’s the point of all this meandering talk? People are NOT simple, and simple rules-of-thumb do us a disservice when they replace thought. It’s on you to teach your kids that your way is but one out of many, and that they need to explore themselves and the world without the assumption that everyone is the same, or that everyone even SHOULD be the same.

One last thought: Do you think it’s possible to teach someone to be gay? Don’t quip “of course not”. Think about WHY that is. Why has every attempt to “cure” homosexuality failed? Why did experiments in reversing “gender-appropriate” toys for kids showed them re-purposing their toys to more gender-specific preferences? Why did the women’s liberation movement flourish? Traits that tend to run along gender lines do NOT rigidly adhere to them, and teaching kids that they do is harmful and destructive. The outliers will either hide, conforming only externally, or rebel. Be open with your kids, and make sure they realize that there’s always another way. Nothing is etched in stone. Your example is but one among many.

I Will Refill That For You

lizbethlost:

One of the ways I show my submission to @jjtthree is to wait on him when we are together. I prefer to serve him his morning coffee. If his drink is empty at the dinner table or he needs something from the kitchen, I prefer to refill it or get the item for him. He is perfectly capable of doing these things for himself, but this is one of the ways I can express my gratitude to him.

At dinner last night, he asked me if I needed a refill on my water as he stood to get his own refill. I offered to get the refill for him, but he insisted on getting it himself. He explained after dinner that he doesn’t want me to wait on him all the time in front of my son and his boys because he does not want them to expect to be waited upon. I guess a child observing this service could perhaps get the idea that it should be expected by all women.

I’m tagging @sccwriting on this one. I would love to hear how others approach this situation and if you have discussed this with your partner.

What is your opinion? Does seeing this behavior set an unrealistic expectation for children?

The important thing is to show, holistically, what your relationship means.

Your service to him is but one part. They need to ALSO see how much he cherishes and adores you. How he keeps you, and everyone under his charge, safe. How he leads with humility and justice. How he commands respect, not by coercion, but by being honorable, trustworthy, and steadfast.

Children aren’t stupid. They don’t see just the one thing you try to point out or highlight for them; they see EVERYTHING, including anything you try to hide. BOTH of you are their examples and role models. You are the ones who show them what a healthy relationship means.

She wants to trust.
She wants to feel.
She wants his approval.
She wants his reassurance.
She needs to be controlled.
She needs to be secure.
She needs to be his.
She needs to be owned.

After the punishment, she’s still my precious little girl.

Shh, don’t make a fuss. They’re mine now.

Your mouth was designed to be filled.

That’s a pretty cunt you’ve got there, honey!

Now she doesn’t need to worry about what to do with her hands.

Et voilà!

Remove the central ring and you have two spanking straps, each with a handy ring to hang it up on the wall even!

I hit the horse rescue thrift shop today and got some fun little pieces for dirt cheap.

The breastplate is made from strong, stiff leather, so I like to re-purpose it into spanking straps.

This curb bit is interesting because the jointed mouthpiece gives the whole thing an added degree of flexibility, which, incidentally, also makes it work well as a gag for humans.

The bit gag is, well, a bit gag. Useful in many circumstances!

Well that new post isn't a bad advert. You are very cute

Heh thanks :)

I’m just gonna let the cards fall where they may for now. I move to my new farm in a week, so there’s a lot of preparation to do.

Can’t sleep. Feeling shitty today.

What would you do,

For a man who is passionate enough to take you?

For a man who is dedicated enough to keep you?

For a man who is responsible enough to own you?

When no choice remains, all you can do is be.

You come to me because I do this to you.

I do what you’re too ashamed to.

I do what you’re too afraid to.

I do what you secretly desire to.

I take responsibility so you don’t have to.

You like when it’s not your choice, not your responsibility.