Same anon that asked the question about feminism- I totally agree. I think that modern day feminism ignores the aspect of choosing that it was founded upon.
This is the problem when a political movement becomes an institution: How to justify its continued existence? The only way to survive is to continue activism, but if you’ve already conquered your greatest foe, what then? You’ll have a large institution employing many people and incorporating many bureaucratic processes, with nothing to justify their continuation. At that point, you either scale back (which, politically, no - just no), or you inflate your remaining smaller enemies to continue justifying the expansion of your institution.
Of course, there comes a point where your enemies are so tiny or outright fabricated that the “fight” becomes comical at best.
Hello Keeping her. If this one may ask you a few questions it would help this one much. Thank you. This one has been speaking to a prospective Mistress for a few months now and has been asking questions about scenes and such. But has only gotten one two word answers like; a lot sure okay stuff like that. Should he consider this to be red flag or yellow flag? Or just consider it as a way she answers to a prospective submissive, to keep him guessing, and her mysterious? Thank you, for your time.
A relationship without communication won’t last long. In general, lack of communication is due to lack of caring. Sometimes you’ll encounter people who are hurting and unable to communicate. That’s fine, but such a person is in no position to take charge of another.
Just analyzing: On the surface it would look like your natural match is a masochist but thinking about it some more, she really shouldn't be and here is why: a masochist slave would really suffer for herself as she actually enjoys it. Suffering for you is entirely different: a lady who loves you that much that she is willing to let you control her and take some of your frustration on her and give you her body and soul. I think it's more romantic and genuine otherwise the suffering is not real.
I’d be careful about drawing the line on such an axis.
Masochists are responding to a need, the same as girls who crave humiliation & degradation or being controlled are responding to a need. Taken down to the core, you rule everyone out.
What I’m looking for is sacrifice. I want to see what she’ll give up for her god. Pain, comfort, mobility, speech, autonomy, diet, orgasms, even air - there is always something she can sacrifice to demonstrate her devotion, and some sacrifices will be easier than others.
I have no actual data to back this up, but in my anecdotal experience I’ve found that women of higher intelligence seem to be more predisposed to paraphilia, especially anything to do with submission or giving up control.
I postulate that a large part of this is the desire to be freed from the thought process, even if only for a little while. From their descriptions, brain chatter is a serious problem outside of work, to the point of seriously interfering with intimacy and the enjoyment of life in general. To lose control to someone she trusts, and simply follow his lead, would likely be a relief beyond measure.
What an excellent question. And I won’t lie: possibly the hardest question I’ve ever gotten. Here’s the thing: I think Dominants and submissives are “born this way.” Just like gay people, or black people, or people with blonde hair. I think it’s a classic case of nature vs. nurture. So I’m struggling to answer this the same way a gay person, to pick one example, would struggle if you asked him/her “What’s it like to be gay? How does it feel to be attracted to members of the same sex?” But I’ll try to answer at least some of the question, and invite my Followers to chime in.
So, let me try and describe what it’s like to be a Dominant from several perspectives ….
Social. Dominants are the social equivalent of homosexuals back in the days before the dawn of gay liberation. We are considered deviant monsters who are beyond the pale of decent, God-fearing society. Specifically, we take psychological and sexual advantage of poor, damaged women who trust us, not knowing we are amoral, sociopathic predators. We make them do twisted, degrading things to satisfy our mad lusts. That, despite the “50 Shades” phenomenon, is the general social milieu in which Dominants live and breathe. As you can imagine, such a milieu gives us no reason to even think of “coming out of the closet.” No reason at all. Taken from a purely social POV, being a Dominant sucks, and for some (not all) Dominants, that social opprobrium has left marks.
Structural. Now we’re getting somewhere. Everyone accepts the truism that the submissive brain thrives on structure. But here’s a little secret: the Dominant brain craves structure just as much as the submissive brain. The submissive has a deep need to receive structure; the Dominant has an equally deep need to give structure. This informs every aspect of the Dominant’s psychology, not just the “kink” aspect. Perhaps this is why one sees Dominants (at least, in my experience) over-represented in the ranks of active/ex-military, project management, IT, and similar. Structure is our oxygen. When we have that structure in our lives, that person who craves what we crave to offer, that reason for getting out of bed and handling our business every morning, it is the best feeling in the world. When we have no one to whom we can offer the gift of structure, it’s a form of death, similar to a lifelong workaholic who is out of a job. Structure is what we do, what we are, and what we need to give, above anything else.
Emotional. “How does it feel to be in control all the time?” It feels fucking excellent, that’s how it feels! I’m being quite serious. The exhilaration of being “in control” of another human being for whom one cares deeply and towards whom one feels a deep sense of responsibility is a bracing tonic for the Dominant’s heart and head. Our first thought upon waking is “She needs me today.” Our last thought as we turn off the bedside lamp is “I took good care of my girl today.” It is, in some respects, perhaps similar to what one imagines a mother feels towards her child. Are there rough days? Yes. Is it sometimes – maybe often – hard work? Hell yes it is, possibly the hardest work there is next to raising a child. But it’s “work” we love to do. We feel invigorated. We feel focused. And, above all, we feel needed.
Anyway, these are just some of the things that come to my mind. It’s a tough question, perhaps as tough as asking a fish to describe what it’s like to live in water. I’d love to hear input from my Dom/Domme followers. Your thoughts?
Hmm… Nope, that about covers it.
The only other thing I’d add is that while our tumblr blogs contain mainly sexual material, in reality it’s only one small part of the whole of what we do.
There’s something incredibly seductive and sexy about obedience. Nobody else seems to pick up on it, but when I see it, it’s as if she’s giving off a brilliant aura. I just know that she’s desperate for someone to lead her.
It’s not that she wants to obey; she NEEDS someone to obey. Her life is worthless without him. Her neediness and clinginess are symptoms of this, and nothing - absolutely nothing - can substitute. Left to her own devices she’s able to survive, but not to live. She can find VERY willing men, but none can satisfy her deepest needs. Without a man of strength, determination and virtue to own her, life is meaningless, to the point that she’ll even despair of living sometimes.
And when I see it… When I see that desperate need to obey, it’s a truly magical thing.
Good evening Sir, my Master has me looking for hypno playlists to listen to for female orgasm denial. I can't seem to find anything worth listening to. I'm looking for things on SoundCloud so they can be saved for later use. Do you know of any?
Is it just me or has modern society transformed the word “men” into a word with a negative connotation?
Men. I feel like the world today treats this word with contempt and in turn the people who identify as such.
When did men become the villain? When did “men” become interchangeable shorthand for “all things bad”?
The answers to those questions probably have something to do with feminism, a few bad apples, etc.
But I just wanted to say… I love men. I appreciate them. And not just on personal or situational levels.
I love the male body and the male mind. I love watching both at work.
I love witnessing acts of male strength and endurance. Women can’t compare, just a fact of life. From male athletes on fields of competition to just your average man working on his own yard. The male body is a wonderland of power and invincibility when healthy.
The male mind is just as stunning. What it has given to the worlds of science, literature, art, mathematics, technology, and engineering… Nowadays, we like to credit men for war/murder/tragedy but across history our best philosophers, peace-makers, pacifists, and religious leaders have also been male. Male entertainers as well, singers and comics. When focused and passionate, the male mind creates masterpieces in every facet of civilization.
So don’t expect me to feel anger or fear or caution at the term “men”. Don’t expect my default reaction to be defenses raised.
I love men. When I engage with them, more often than not, they earn my respect. More often than not, they inspire me.
Men are not the enemy. And no matter how twisted and confused this world gets, it will never convince me they are
As an aside, the reason why most major intellectual breakthroughs are by men is because men occupy more of the fringes of the intelligence spectrum. There are far more men than women at the high end of creativity and intelligence, and also far more men than women at the low end of creativity and intelligence. Think of a flattened bell curve.
Men are more cooperative with strangers than women. They use competition to quickly discover each member’s strengths, and organize around those strengths for whatever task they need to accomplish, with little regard for each others’ feelings. This is evolutionary. A male population that can’t organize itself into a fighting force within a couple of minutes = one dead village. Women view other women as potential rivals first, and potential friends second. This is also evolutionary. The strongest, most cunning men hold the most resources, so wooing them is the best strategy for a secure future. And they are in short supply.
Don’t fear your instincts. They are what get you ahead, even in this modern world. Anyone who tells you to go against them and be politically correct is either naive or trying to fuck you over.
Hi! I've been following your blog for quite some time now. Despite what my blog is about, I adore yours. I also love the fact that people come on here and judge you for what you post on YOUR blog. Tumblr is about people being different. They also don't seem to have the courage to get off of anon. When they call you sad, while they are judging your blog on anon, they're the ones being sad. Matter of fact, I enjoy your blog. You may not like what others like, but you know what? That's life.
Hey thanks for the kind words!
I generally follow a “live and let live” policy.
Unless your blog is about spatulas. Then there’s something seriously wrong with you.
I wouldn’t worry too much about him. The president doesn’t actually hold any real power (Roosevelt being an exception, and for different reasons). TBH it doesn’t really matter who’s occupying the post, other than what trivial things will show up in the evening news.
Is it just me, or did the last anon just attempt to "kink shame" you, and then call you out for "kink shaming" her? Leaving out the fact that I'm happily married, I'd never be able to be your girl...I'd be irate reading the nonsense people throw your way.
People don’t like it when their beliefs are challenged. I’m used to it.
I find that I express my affection through light hearted teasing. Like, I would never tease/make fun of someone I didn't like or wasn't comfortable with. Do you think that's sort of how it is for you as a sadist?
I’ve no interest at all in tormenting someone I don’t care about.
And just cause you like a pretty room doesn't mean all subs do. We get enough judgment from the outside world. You would think the kink community would be a little less judgmental. I'm sad for you that you have to be so hateful and kink shame. I hope that you find what you are looking for in life. As I hope you will respect what I want from my life and my Dom.
To the sub who likes the ugly room: just because you do, doesn't mean every other sub will. I am a sub and I like beautiful rooms. There is no one suit fits them all. To the owner of this page: I follow your posts out of curiosity, not necessarily because I like everything you say. I feel sorry for you that you need to be so cruel to your woman in order to be happy and that your woman wants pain so bad. It's just sad. Again, nothing to do with belonging for that by itself is a beautiful thing.
Yes, I’m a sad, sad little man for wanting to make a girl suffer.
And she’s just a poor misguided and probably mentally deficient girl for wanting what I offer.
No wait… the other thing. Fuck you. Don’t let the door hit your judgmental ass on the way out, because I don’t want your ass prints on my door.
I don't get why all these people are so confused about the kind of relationship you want. Also as a sub we don't want to be locked in a beautiful room. We want to be degraded. That's the point. At the end of the day it's not about your pleasure it's about his. You stop caring about whether you feel good and worry about if he feels good. If he wants to hurt you then the fact that he even thought of you to take his emotions out on is reward enough. Simple as that.
By taking the choice entirely out of your hands, you now become 100% unable to affect the outcome. This means that it’s now completely impossible for anything that happens to be your fault. You won’t have to feel like I didn’t get what I really wanted because of you.
Seriously? You will not ask the woman you are supposed to love how she is feeling? Ever? Could you please add that part to the Slave Expectation / How to become your slave section and write there about your selfishness so a poor girl doesn't make all the way to you only to be told you do not care about how she feels. Does that mean if she has dental pain or menstrual aches she would be on her own?
Holy shit put your damn pitchfork down!
If you don’t like what I post, there’s a nice little “unfollow” button in the corner.
I’m going to take what I want. I’m not going to ask her if it’s okay to start doing things. I’m not going to seek her consent. I’m not going to check to see if she’s had a hard day first. I’m not even going to ask her how she is. None of that matters.
I’m just going to walk up to her and take what’s mine. I’ll do whatever I want to her. I’ll make her do anything that pleases me. She has no say in the matter.
And she’ll be glad to have a man who knows how to handle her.