Why do some women require more attention than others? Is it just "in them" just wondering your opinion bc one relationship I had he txt a few times a day maybe not even every day an things were fine. now a few years later a different relationship an this one seems never satisfied like I can't talk to her enough or see her enough an she gets up set when I can't talk or see her as much as she wants. Is this normal? What makes them this way? Thanks in advance # confused guy
Ignoring someone is a precursor to no longer caring about them. When you don’t keep enough contact, she’ll take it as an indication that you don’t actually care as much as you say you do, and this thought process will eventually spiral into convincing herself that you’re getting ready to leave her. She’ll deal with it by either clinging more tightly, or shutting down emotionally.
In general, a more submissive personality correlates with higher neediness. You can’t change it, and if you get involved with a needy girl, you must be comfortable with reassuring her over and over about the same things - day in, day out, year in, year out. For some it’s so deep that it becomes full-on separation anxiety. It’s one of those non-negotiable needs that will never change until the day she dies. If that doesn’t appeal to you, you’re courting the wrong girl.
100% correct on the kidnap analysis. This has been my secret fantasy for most of my life. You portray it so well. My worst fear is that of neglect and abandonment and also separation. Knowing that a man broke the law to take me and keep me, to care for me and make me his object of love and desire, is the only real cure to my anxieties. There's so much comfort in knowing and feeling that this man would never let me go. If he is intelligent and caring, it would be heaven. I would be loyal forever
How should you break up with a little of daddy? Like that you are romantically attached to as well as breaking off the dynamic. For a reasons other than abuse etc btw
It’s the same as in any relationship. You communicate your needs, each decides if they really can meet those needs, and if the other person really will meet those needs, and if not, you break it off sooner rather than later. The longer you delay, the more it will hurt both of you.
Breaking up is grown up time, but if in your heart you know it’s the right thing, then you are only hurting him by not taking that step.
This is closely related to another question: Why are some women so needy and clingy?
First, let’s look at biology:
A woman can in theory conceive and bear a child in a 9 month period. That child then takes around 12-15 years to reach puberty and propagate the next generation (historically). In order to propagate her genetic code, a woman must survive 9 months of pregnancy, survive the birthing process, survive the recovery, and then make sure her children survive long enough to sire their own children. That’s a huge commitment of time and resources, and for the primitive human it’s nearly impossible to do alone. A woman traditionally only had 15-20 years of fertility, so her time was very limited. It would be in her best interests to find someone who can provide both security and resources. Security would be important, because if her man should be killed, her children would be killed also. And she, if not raped and killed, would be taken into captivity either as a servant, or as a wife or concubine to start all over again, having lost probably a quarter to half of her fertility already. So a powerful man would be very important to her genetic success.
A man’s approach is very different. He can in theory impregnate more women in a day than a woman could conceive in her entire lifetime. This “spray and pray” approach works because even if most of his offspring die, at least some should survive, propagating his seed. Mind you, his chances can be improved by choosing who to care for and provide resources to, and so mostly-monogamy gives him the best chances for genetic success.
Now let’s take a short trip to 2 million years ago.
Proto-humans lived in small nomadic hunter-forager clans or tribes, averaging from 20-50 people. They moved about, picking and hunting whatever they could from the land, moving on when resources grew scarce.
Courting and conception were handled differently due to the small clan size and the need for genetic diversity. Some of the last untouched tribes in the 1900s offer us some clues to how they lived. Many of these cultures believed that a woman conceives only when she’s received a sufficient amount of sperm, and so they would engage in what are effectively gangbangs. Children were in many cultures communally raised. If a man found a particular woman appealing, he would court her and take her as a wife, and would take extra care to ensure her children were provided for. In such a small community, this strategy makes sense, because on the whole your genetic seed propagates. It’s important to note that this wasn’t the only viable strategy, and some cultures did practice sexual monogamy, but both possibilities did exist and were used in practice.
Fast forward to the end of the last ice age (11,000 BC):
Climate change has brought about long dry seasons which favor annual plants that die off each year and leave seeds. From this point, it started to make more sense to cultivate the land since we couldn’t count on food during the winter months otherwise. This also tied us to the land. We could no longer roam, because our food would be lost in the process. Riches and power were now measured by who controls the land.
Tending the land also required a lot of manual labor and division of labor. No longer able to live in small tribes of 50, towns and cities grew into populations of thousands. The human mind can’t keep track of the social web of more than around 100 people, and this had the effect of making interactions impersonal. The other person’s welfare became fairly unimportant, something for them rather than you to sort out. A few deaths here and there wouldn’t matter much to your survival as a city.
In this environment, spray-and-pray - while still pleasurable and of no risk to the men - became catastrophic for women. To be with child and have no man meant that no man would want her. Why take on the responsibility and expense of a child that’s not yours? Infanticide was of course very common, but even so, social stigma would exclude her from the most viable and powerful men. As this new city environment pushed the culture towards individualism, it became vitally important for a woman to attract a man who would stay, as early as possible in her reproductive years. If he left her for any reason, her life would effectively be over. This is the situation that perpetuated into the 20th century.
The Age of Plenty:
With modern technology, we’re easily able to feed ourselves, and a woman no longer has to be materially dependent upon her man. This inevitably gave rise to the Feminist movement and the emancipation of women. But there’s still a problem. We have 2 million years as nomads, followed by 13,000 years as farmers, and only 100 years in the machine age. Our evolution hasn’t had nearly enough time to catch up with the new reality. Also, the old behaviors don’t negatively affect our chances at successful procreation, and so they’re unlikely to die out barring direct manipulation of our own genes.
Women in general still want the security of a man who won’t leave. Men in general still don’t feel the same urgency to stay. You see it play out all the time with a woman badgering her man to marry her, and him coming up with all sorts of excuses not to. You see it in how she steps in to block any attractive woman from getting near him.
So after all of this preamble, how does any of it tie into her kidnap fantasies? A kidnapper takes on a HUGE risk abducting her. He can’t let anyone see her, or let anyone even know that he has someone at his place. He can’t let her run loose because she might be discovered or go to the authorities. It’s the ultimate commitment. He MUST keep her locked up, and he can’t leave her alone for very long. He is now her keeper, until death. The question of whether he will leave her becomes irrelevant. He CAN’T leave. His only choices are to keep her, or to kill her. Neither one compares to her pain of being abandoned. A kidnapper traps himself into becoming her security for the rest of her life. He becomes what her evolution has compelled her to desire.
So you're some super cool sadistic Hannibal dom or something? Like I'm supposed to believe that you've got no buttons to push or something? I can always make a man lose his cool, and I doubt very much you're any different!
It doesn’t matter what I am. I get what I want, and that’s all that matters.
Like, no matter how much of a brat you are no matter how much you cry and beg and struggle they just smile down at you and stroke your hair and continue doing whatever the fuck they want to do.
As someone who generally is very good at pushing people’s buttons and enjoys winding people up until they react, the person who just ignores it all and continues to completely and openly enjoy my pain and humiliation without feeling the need to so much as raise their voice? Very very hot.
Loved what you last wrote and also the pictures you have been posting. I am so very insecure so I really need to feel like a man who want me so much to the point of locking me up and never letting me go. As for the butt pic-how long does it take to heal from the bruises? Would you apply first aid ointment on it? The fact you met someone from overseas tells me not a lot of woman are seriously up to the challenge. For many reasons I cannot apply but I do wish I could. I am so alone in this world.
Bruises like that would take anywhere from 4 days to a week until you can’t feel them anymore, and up to a week and a half until you can’t see them anymore. Judging from the redness of the welts and the deep purple of the bruises, they’re probably one day old, two max. The welts fade fairly quickly, and the bruises will slowly change from purple to a kind of brown that you can already see in places in the picture. There’s no point in applying ointment to that sort of thing.
It wasn’t difficult finding compatible women when I lived in big cities like San Francisco. But now that I’m on a farm outside of a small town, it’s almost guaranteed that the girl I find will be an airplane ride away, at which point I might as well be open to the entire world. I had to find my home first before I took a girl, so this is how it’s gotta be.
A new day for you is a new anxiety, as you dread the things that will go wrong during the Sun’s march across the sky. Decisions have too many consequences. You’ll either hurt, anger, or disappoint people, or you’ll set yourself back when you more than likely choose wrong. Analysis paralysis sets in as you project further and further into the negative future consequences until you just want to hide away.
And so you listen to people, but that doesn’t work out so well, either. A thousand voices pulling you this way and that. Unable to say no, you’re dragged into commitments you can’t keep and tasks you can’t do. But you can’t disappoint, and so you soldier on into an even bigger mess of your own making. Somehow your choices, made with the best of intentions, just seem to make things worse.
Condemnation sets in as the world continues to trumpet the ideal of the successful woman. Smart, in control, unneedful of any man, able to handle her high power job as well as keep a stable home and raise perfect children (not to mention her perfect hair and complexion), she cuts a wide, impeccably manicured path that is somehow full of snares for you to stumble and fall and cry and reveal just how pathetic you are. Men deride you for being clingy and needy. Women deride you as a freak and a drama queen. Even the magazines at the drug store call you co-dependent.
You have no real control in your life. Your direction just kind of happens, and not even you like where it’s going. You put on a brave face to hide the miserable girl inside. You smile and are helpful and do your best to keep the peace, but it’s only a matter of time before someone or something blows up and you just want to curl up into a ball and disappear.
And then one day you realize, you need someone to impose some kind of structure. A single order. Clear, consistent rules for what you should do. A single voice to overrule all others. A single opinion that matters above all else. A single person who has the final say on what happens.
Someone to look up to. Someone who chooses with conviction. Someone who boldly makes the moral decisions, and takes responsibility for the consequences. Someone who won’t be swayed. Someone who understands and upholds justice.
Someone who won’t push you away when you just need to hold on from anxiety. Someone who will be your shelter, protecting you from the chaos outside in a world that changes every day, threatening to be your fault in a new and bizarre way. Someone who understands your terrible guilt, and can bring cleansing absolution through the pain you know you deserve. Someone to cherish you and guide you. Someone to tell you if you’ve been good or bad.
Someone who directs rather than asks. Someone who tells you when he’s pleased or displeased. Someone who keeps you on the right path. Someone who will restrict your choices until you’re simply unable to choose the wrong way. Someone who wants you with such a passion that he’ll even lock you up, and never release you.
The pic of the deeply bruised ass and thigh made me scared. Bcos somehow I feel that you will not hesitate to do that at all, no matter how much she'll beg and scream and cry, for no other reason than simply to show that you can. But that made my heart beat so much faster too.
Then, when she’s curled up in my lap, and I’m lightly tracing the contours of my handiwork while I absentmindedly play with her hair, we’ll both know that all is right in the world.
Hmm… As far as BDSM oriented feature movies go, the only one I could recommend is Secretary. I didn’t like The Pet or 50 Shades or the Story of O, and Eyes Wide Shut was a fucking joke.
Movies that aren’t very realistic but have hot scenes include:
I Spit on Your Grave 2
The Disappearance of Alice Creed
As for straight up BDSM porn videos, I’ve only ever really liked the old Insex series, because they were the only ones to get anywhere close to realistic with an emotional connection (and even they fell short most of the time). That said, these are my favorites (all Insex):
I’m flattered by nudes, and I appreciate the female body, but that’s not the way to my heart.
What I’m interested in is a true slave’s heart. A devotion to her master. A diligence to do whatever it takes to be pleasing to him. A desire to make her loved ones happy. A need to serve and be guided. A girl who understands and desires the freedom that servitude brings.
I did a little stalking (hope that doesn't disturb you) and wow you sound really interesting (outside of just this blog). You write games too?
I’ve written everything from games to engine control unit loaders to financial systems to workforce management systems to emulators to arduino & friends to automation systems in most popular languages. I wrote my first program (a dungeons & dragons character generator) when I was 8 after my father bought a Commodore 64. Unfortunately, the tapes with all my code from those days are long lost. The earliest code I still have around are bits of M68000 assembler and a crappy MUD implementation in C from stuff I was fooling around with in high school.
If you were in a relationship w a sub and you started fightin (which is totally normal and healthy) how would you deal with it? Would you punish the sub or would you talk through it like a vanilla relationship
If we have a disagreement, we talk about it. Disagreeing is not disobedience.