September 2017

Can I still apply or is it too late? Did you collar her? Is she on Tumblr?

She is wearing my training collar. I won’t consider others.

Shhhhh… There’s a good girl…

dutchandbearded:

Even your breath is mine

You have no say about her.

Your judgments won’t reach her.

I own her. You cannot harm her.

Would it be ok for me to ask why in my eyes I see a stronger sense of humanity and the understanding of humans here when I was told that this is the place where monsters reside.?

True D/s is completely impossible without empathy. What outsiders see as abuse is an exchange of responsibilities. But these exchanges cut so deeply and intimately that they become incomprehensible and scary to outsiders, and what we fear we demonize and denounce and suppress.

Even when it’s explained, it’s still difficult to reach an understanding. Bondage, discipline and domination are all means to restrict choice, and this causes much consternation in our modern society that reveres empowerment, agency, self sufficiency, and equality. It’s damn near impossible to explain to them how a  submissive feels anywhere from anxiety to abject terror at making such responsibility-inducing choices on her own. Forget explaining the freedom she feels when those choices and responsibilities are taken away!

So yes, from the outside what we do is abuse, plain and simple. And that makes us monsters, skulking about waiting for innocent victims to destroy. The only way to see the truth is to look with eyes unclouded by prejudice.

I tried, for his sake, to end things. He will not let me go. He owns me. I have encouraged him to find additional slaves or subs, but he says he only wants me. I know I’m very lucky. Later on...I can be more and he will be first. He knows I love and worship him. When we are together, it is magical. Still, I know I’m not really enough. Am I being selfish by not ending things? I am so sorry to bother you with my problems. It’s just that I love how you think! You are like the Dear Abby for subs:)

If he owns you, wants you, and won’t let you go, then it isn’t your choice, is it?

It’s his choice, and his responsibility. You need only obey him. But by the same token, he’s taking you along with everything that comes with you. And that means that it’s on him to be patient where necessary.

Aspire to be the kind of man she can’t help but fall to her knees and worship.

I wish to help the sub who is a teacher and a mother by offering my thoughts: since you did not mention love, maybe it would be for the best to "release" the master and let him find someone who is more compatible in terms of time and timing. As a sub I believe my place is to dedicate all my time, and life, to my man. Since you are a mother you simply cannot do so or you will compromise being a good mom. This lifestyle is not suitable for kids. If he needs 24/7/365, he deserves nothing less.

Yes, it’s a tricky situation because they haven’t effectively communicated their needs. This is in fact the reason why I say no kids up front. We have to be clear about our needs and expectations.

Are dominants perfectionists?

Not necessarily. Many are, however.

This is a weird question, but when did you start blading or shaving your head? Do you have a picture of what you looked like with hair?

Around my mid 20s. Hair loss started in high school.

You’re mine, and always will be.

You exist for my pleasure.

How are these doing?

My Master lives very far away. He comes to see me one weekend a month. He lives alone. I have 2 teenage children. I’m not able to relocate bc of my commitments as a mother. The problem is, my Master is always getting mad at me for not being available to text or talk enough. I’m a full time teacher with two very active kids, so most of my time doesn’t even really belong to me. My Master guilt trips me constantly about it. Is there a reasonable way to fix our problem? I hate feeling like a failure

Here’s the thing: Master type dominants tend to be somewhat needy themselves, which is one reason why they fit so well with slave type submissives. A sub who doesn’t have enough time for him, even for very legitimate reasons, will result in his needs not being met, and that’s frustrating.

That said, I’m rather surprised that he hasn’t through self-reflection discovered this underlying cause himself. There’s no valid reason to get angry with you, since your primary responsibilities as a mother are crystal clear. Nevertheless, he WILL feel the frustration, and that’s where the problem lies. This is an issue that he must resolve in his own mind because your hands are tied, and you cannot in good conscience act any differently. An honorable man will understand this. A disciplined man will find a way to cope.

I Want to be Yours

I want to live in the world you create for me.
I want my world to have only room to serve you.
My world has borders that you set, rules that you frame and enforce, doors that you open or close.
My world contains only the things you let me have or use or see.
All pleasures and pain in my world come from you.
No one can harm me. Nothing can hurt me in this world but you.


- Dovey

I’ll make it clear every chance I get: I OWN YOU.

A boy knows how to listen to you.

A man knows when you need to shut the fuck up.

To love is to suffer.

Wait for me, dear. I’m coming home.

Once a slave, always a slave.

Up you go! Time to suffer.

Is there any difference between a sadist and a sociopath?

A sadist is one who derives pleasure from inflicting pain/suffering on others. There are many kinds of sadists, however. Some just want to indiscriminately cause suffering. Others want to do so in a controlled manner. Some only do it in a sexual context. Others aren’t so picky. For some it’s more of a means to sate a hunger. For others, the hunger never subsides. For some, only a certain kind of person or relation will do. For others, it doesn’t matter.

A sociopath (psychopath) is an entirely different beast. They may also be sadists, but it’s entirely orthogonal to the psychopathy.

I read your stories and I have the impression that there is a difference in the Pics you blog and in your stories. The Pics are much more brutal. So I am wondering what th reason is and how you would treat your slavegirl.

The problem is that almost all porn images out there fall to extremes, and lump certain things together. If she’s restrained inescapably (which I like), the image will invariably depict her in a brutal situation. If you want something more loving, the physical control aspect is dropped. You have to remember that porn tends to be produced by people of average to low intelligence, and so it ends up like a 2D caricature in an American sitcom: there’s little room for depth or nuance (or believability).

What’s in my stories is what I actually want. What’s in my picture feed is the best I was able to find.

First just want to say- So very happy for you! Question-dying to know... are You still in the lovey dovey getting to know you stage of your new slave and/or have you let loose on your sadistic side that we see so often in your posts?

The circumstances are complicated and I’m not going to explain why, but I won’t be able to indulge my sadistic side fully for a couple of weeks or so.

There’s nothing better than having her near.

They should be plugged when not in use. It stands to reason.

Such a beautiful reaction <3

My girl.

Thank you for your response, I'm trying to understand myself as a submissive. I know I ultimately need to be owned and controlled but I just worry that I will never find someone to serve and that I'll always be walking around broken, incomplete, and just a mess.

I’ll let you in on a secret. For everyone I’ve ever gotten serious with, it started off platonic. When you start with romantic intent, you automatically don a mask based on what you think they’re looking for, and they always see through the ruse. This is why dating sites have such a low success rate.

Get out into the real world and hang around where there are dominant people. I’m not talking about BDSM clubs and the like; I mean a kung-fu death metal yogic pottery club or whatever. Getting to know someone in a shared interest context gives you a way to grow acquainted without having to resort to the sexual (which trivializes your encounter to the point that you’ll know nothing of each other’s true character).

I’ve met girls in the checkout line. I’ve met them at orchestras. I’ve met them in libraries. I’ve met them on hikes. I’ve met them through the blog (answering requests for advice). If you really want to trigger a dominant, ask him for help with something. Help getting up a difficult part of a climb. Help choosing something. Help with anything that takes long enough to warrant chatting while you do it. I’m not saying to manufacture an excuse; you’ll get into trouble soon enough. Just ask when you’re in need of help, because if you’re getting yourself out there, you have a much greater chance of being around a dominant when you inevitably get into trouble with something.

We’re not going to approach you, because that instantly makes it sexual and pointless. But give us an excuse and we’ll move in.

What’s mine is mine.

I dont know whether or not I'm a true submissive. I want to be owned, totally and completely, I always go above and beyond for any Master I'm allowed to serve and am driven by a desire to please, yet I can't keep my own life in order. I have no professional aspirations, I'm awful with money, I can't make decisions to save my life, I'm an all around mess. I'm just so confused, I want to be owned permanently it just seems impossible. And maybe I'm not submissive, just lazy and unmotivated.

Like your typical submissive, you’re diligent but disorganised. Given a specific task, you go 110%. But deciding on what needs to be done, or making policy decisions, fills you with such anxiety that you shut down and nothing gets done. With someone telling you what to do, you flourish. Take that away and your life quickly degenerates into a huge mess.

She’s grateful for the opportunity to be my pleasure.

One of the many ways she brings me pleasure :)

Meat.

There’s something so right about her place and my place.

Second part: I am asking this as a woman whose lifelong dream has been to be the hostage and captive of a man who would love me possessively and obsessively and be overprotective of me. So, if you were to abduct someone you love (if it were legal, that is), would you physically beat her or would you claim her by less violent ways such is injecting her with a sedative? How would you handle her being nervous and sleepless due to extreme fear? Would you comfort her? Would you be kind and gentle?

In real life, a woman very rarely chooses to fight against a man several times stronger than her. The most common reaction is to comply, but wait for an opportunity to escape. So it would be easy to be gentle yet forceful, since we’d both know the consequences otherwise.

When you take in an adult pet, it takes them a long time to get used to you. You’re essentially “abducting” them out of their previous environment. You need to keep them locked indoors for the first few weeks until they accept their new home and get used to you as their caregiver. Humans are not much different, except that in humans we call it Stockholm Syndrome.

This is not a tricky question so I hope you answer it. It's just a hypothetical scenario. Something I've wanted to ask you for a while. Please imagine for a moment a world where a man is allowed to abduct one woman and make her his as long as he cares for her for the rest of her life (kind of like Bible times). If you abducted the woman you loved, would you use painful force during the abduction, even if she were meek and didn't try to to fight hard? Would you tie her harshly or gently?

There are many means of control, and taking a woman is about control. So no, I wouldn’t use force in such a case. Rather, I’d make her put the chains on herself, making her complicit in her own captivity. The only chains that actually matter are the ones that bind her soul to mine.

I cannot stand the people who call you crazy. I believe in the individuality of a man above all. It's so boring to be like everyone else. I hope you take it as a compliment when people call you crazy because it means you, and not them, have the imagination to live your life the way you see fit and not to conform to some silly set of make belief rules. What have people called you crazy about (other than the dom thing)? Farm life? Your choice of food? Some people don't know how to be respectful!!!

Pretty much every bigger decision I’ve made. My choice of women, my farm, my diet, moving to California to start a company, taking up boxing… Basically my entire decision making process. Nobody has the balls to do this sort of thing. To them everything is like a ledger. Every action a risk. The true rewards are invisible to them. And I’m not about to change their minds because it means more for me.

Aww! Do they hurt?

Have you ever made a big mistake (like in a career or education) that set you back for a long time or was debilitating to your confidence in yourself? If so, what did you do to get back on track? I'm asking because I've spent a couple of years continually dropping classes, and have decided that I can't succeed at my current university or in my current major. I'm transferring to a much smaller school, but I'm not sure if that'll make a difference or if I'm just running away from my problems.

I’ve been rendered destitute twice, had a few life threatening illnesses, and suffered major depression. I’ve lived with gang violence, been mugged, beat up, had my life threatened a few times, and lost three close family members to cancer. In the words of Edmund Blackadder, I have a degree from the University of Life, a diploma from the School of Hard Knocks, and three gold stars from the Kindergarten of Getting the Shit Kicked Out of Me.

But throughout everything, I’ve never doubted my abilities or my resolve. People call me crazy all the time for the things I do and the decisions I make (and I mean, literally, “you’re crazy”). The point I’m trying to make is that hard times and doubt will happen no matter what you do, so make sure you’re doing something you believe in, because believing in your cause will give you a strength like no other.

It was a bullet train. I think only the train could decide who got it, and when. I grew up in a Mediterranean country and salad was a daily ritual. I am crazy for salad that contain as many as veggies possible, and salad buffets. Do hunt or fish and if not, would you, at the end of the world as we know it? Do you approve of MREs? Other good shelf life foods?

I’m getting a hunting license since deer are overpopulated in this area. I only hunt/fish for food. Trophies don’t interest me. Actually, no, I find them repugnant.

MREs are like TV dinners: made from untraceable sources, highly processed, and containing only basic nutrients according to some preconceived formula that is just as likely to be wrong as right. They’re useful as e-rations, but that’s about it.

Do you think a person can be happy with someone else if they hate themselves? The whole notion of "you can't be happy with someone until you're happy with yourself". Do you believe in that? Also when/if your sub moves in full time will you still be active here? Thanks and congrats on finding her.

Being happy with yourself isn’t a prerequisite to being happy with someone else.

I’ll continue with this blog no matter what happens.

Climate change disasters: I am terrified about the hurricanes that have been barreling the Caribbeans. Why did it take 10 years to conduct your research? Is there an onslaught of bad info about places that were considered to be OK? Do you happen to know the forecast for Vermont, NH (inland) and Maine (inland), Alaska (inland)? Any info about Montana or North Dakota? Why will these Northern places lose water? Ever been to Dawson City? It's good to live far from big crowded city for many reasons.

It took 10 years because until recently, there wasn’t very much money spent on climate research, and the research itself was locked away in ivory towers with $10,000 price tags to access the studies.

The prognosis is more of the same extreme weather for the East coast. The Southern states will continue drying up. California will become mostly desert, similar to Arizona (except for the places that pipe water in at great expense). Agriculture is going to be really fucked up over the next 30 years. The middle states will remain mostly unchanged, but a bit drier. The Pacific Northwest will become a bit wetter, and will suffer a diminished version of extreme weather. Africa will continue drying up, as will the Middle East and India. Southest Asia will suffer similar problems to the Southeast coast of the USA. China is too totalitarian. South and Central America’s climate will remain relatively nice, but the political turmoil makes it ill-suited for a home base. The Caribbean will remain nice except for the hurricanes and political instability. Australia is drying up. New Zealand is too wet for my tastes, and too far out of the way. Europe is a big question mark. Nobody seems to know for sure what will happen to the climate there since it’s largely dependent upon the Earth’s winds, which are changing with the melting of the polar ice. Oh yes, and most of the coastal regions will get flooded.

It’s best to keep your training stimulating.

Domestic life.

I have really bad depression and it effects things with any dom ive had and most times they just leave even though all i want is them do have any advice on how i could fix it

The trouble with depression is that it’s nearly impossible to understand it without having experienced it yourself. My advice would be to make sure any potential dom actually understands what depression is, and how to properly care for someone who suffers from it. Even a quick conversation along the way would help:

You: Actually, I suffer from depression. It gets pretty bad.

Him: That’s alright, babygirl. I can handle anything.

You: Have you had subs with depression before?

Him: Yeah sure.

You: How did you care for them?

Him: I cheered them up to snap them out of it.

*EEEEEEEEH!* Aww and he was doing so well!

You: How would you describe depression?

Him: It’s when you get really sad and can’t stop.

*EEEEEEEH!* Damn, missed it two-for-two!

… and so on.

If he can’t even describe how depression works and how it debilitates and saps your will, he won’t have the patience and compassion to care for someone who suffers from it.

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a few years now...I've wanted a Dom/Sub relationship with him for a long time. But scared of his reaction when I ask. If there a good way to bring this up?

Hmm… Well, liking to be spanked is not so far out of the mainstream nowadays… You could always start with that and see how into it he gets.

I saw an ask by someone from the UK about staying in your farm for a holiday. Do you charge for guests to stay in the RV or is it free? Is it connected to power and running water? Is it the same one you travel with? Do you have an airbnb account? Would love to check it out!

I’ve only had friends use it so far. I hadn’t thought of using airbnb, but that could be a neat idea! It does have power and water, and I have a pad with sceptic that the previous owners set up.

image
image
image

Could you share a picture of your girl? One that obviously is discreet and does not show her face or too much detail. Was the gorgeous salad you shared made for you by her? Last, was it difficult to choose her over others or did she stick out as much more compatible than others? I was never a candidate and yet I feel she is a very lucky girl but also that you are a lucky man because it's so rare to find a good match and true love. Every day that brings you closer together is a blessing.

The only picture I’ll share for now is the one I posted earlier with me sitting in the chair. Consideration time is private time. That also means I won’t answer questions about her.

The salad pictures I just grabbed off the internet since I didn’t have a salad handy at the time, but any salads I make (and am teaching her to make) are very similar.

The main thing I look for is her attitude OUTSIDE of the bedroom. I’m looking for 24/7, which occurs mostly outside of the bedroom. Talking to me about all the sexy things you like won’t impress me.

why is it after you live together during the consideration process. there is a need for a separation? would you expect the 2 of you to go "backwards" and deny the constant need for one another? So say that you live a month together. At that point, would you send her away? If so, for how long? Would you accompany her to make sure she severs all other ties correctly? After all, she needs your guidance! Sorry but I am confused by the separation part.

That’s just me getting ahead in my mind and complicating the explanation. Usually she’d have responsibilities in her life and wouldn’t be able to just disappear for a 6 month stretch :p