October 2017

inside-mathilda:

He recently cut my hair (just a few centimeters to prevent split ends) because it is too long for me to cut it myself properly. I loved that ♥

(Care is so much more than just ‘after’care. He doesn’t need to torture you first to have a reason to ‘care’ for you! Should be obvious but unfortunately it doesn’t seem to be the standard in many relationships….)

Happy Halloween!

Does that feel nice, honey?

Safe and secure.

There’s nothing quite as pure as suffering.

Little Dovey looks so cute in her chains!

inside-mathilda:

*sitting at Masters feet and watching Him file the edges of my locks (the ones that lock my cuffs and shackles and hold the chains between them) so that they don’t dig into my arms and legs at night… He is busy doing that for more than an hour now while I just enjoy having my arms wrapped around His leg and admire Him for taking such good care of me.

I’m definitely the luckiest and happiest slave on this planet!

It took a bit of elbow grease, but I’m pleased with the results!

My motives aren’t entirely altruistic… I don’t like the sharp edges poking into me when we’re in bed :P

inside-mathilda:

You can see the pain but not what’s causing it, the reaction but not what triggers it… I like this point of view.

_____________


Random 2AM-thoughts / -associations with this gif


I’d endure everything if it means to make You smile. - Not an empty phrase; I mean it. - There is no part of me, of body and mind, that isn’t Yours (~…to do with as you please). // And despite the fact that there isn’t much on this planet I hate more than pain (You know I’m far from being a masochist), even (/especially?) while suffering I’m in perfect harmony with myself. Because ‘myself’ is Your property. And that’s what fulfills me, what makes me happy. // I suffer for You, not because I enjoy pain but because I love to sacrifice myself for You, for Your happiness and pleasure. Because You’re worth it, You earned it, for all the things You did and do for me, for caring so well for me. For giving me everything of You, You deserve nothing less than to take everything from me. // I love to sacrifice myself for You because every sacrifice is a renewal of my promise to be Yours. What could be better proof of my devotion than to suffer for You? What gives You more power over me than to make me suffer for You? Just because You like it, just because You can. And to feel Your power over me, makes me feel safe. Because it means You have everything under control, even me. // I hate pain soooo much. I -really- suffer when You hurt me. And I’m glad I do because it makes it real. My sacrifice. Your ownership. Your pleasure. Real suffering, real reward. // I don’t care how much hurts; pain is temporary, our bond is forever. And it’s getting stronger with everything we give to and take from each other, with every part of us we exchange, until we forgot what is Yours and what is mine. That’s the meaning of Giving and Taking. Substitution. Becoming One. This is what it’s all about.

inside-mathilda:

inside-mathilda:

I’m a little behind with answering Asks. Patience please. Thank you.

Once again.

I’ll get to them tomorrow, was a little busy today and yesterday, sorry.

Good luck. She’ll be a little occupied tomorrow.

Dovey teaches me German

Mornings are the best!

I feel like I've missed something on your blog, are you currently in Germany or is Dovey in Canada? She seems so lovely by the way, congrats to you both!!

We’re in Germany atm.

Sleep tight.

It’s all about the everyday moments we share.

Hopefully she gets well soon, lots of tea, fruits and veggies will help, o and sleep! Honey also helps, and so does lemonade(!!!)

She’s got plenty to drink, and I’ve made up a little spot for her to sleep at my feet while I work.

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Dovey’s sick with the flu. Updates will be slow for awhile.

She depends on me for everything.

Mine.

It's exciting you are having Sasha come...Is it super expensive to fly a cat?

No. They’re actually quite inexpensive, all things considered.

You may not know me at all but you and your girl seem so perfect for each other that I just feel happy for both of you for having found each other. Grats and all the best!

Thank you :)

Did you sell the farm? Is it girls sale? Is it really yours? What happened to the cats and horses? The fruit trees? Who is maintaining the homestead at your absence? Are you making any money subletting it?

The farm’s a bit of a wildcard atm. There are a lot of tax implications depending on what I do going forward. It’s off season now so there’s no maintenance to be done. The horses are back with their owner and Sasha will be joining me soon.

You have no say in how or where I place you.

inside-mathilda:

TO MY MALE (/DOMINANT) FOLLOWERS/READERS

I am generally open to conversations. I like to talk to like-minded people. It is fine when you write me, because you want advice from a submissive’s point of view or just talk about something. Go ahead.

But…

I am NOT interested in meeting you in person. I am NOT open to reading from you that you have any kind of interest in me beyond an online-friendship.

To make it absolutely clear and in the simplest words possible:

I’m owned now. I’m property of @keepingher. I have zero interest in changing that, ever, for the rest of my life. I’m 100% loyal and faithful. I already have the best Master I can imagine. I’m not interested in you.

So please don’t approach me with the wish to meet me and don’t talk to me in a way you wouldn’t want other Dominants to talk to your (existing or desired) slave.

It’s just a waste of your and my time.

Thank you.

I’ve nothing to add to this.

Ever been unfaithful to a woman you loved and was with you? What happens, in theory of course, if your girl GodForbid gets very sick and can no longer function as a slave/sub? What is she becomes physically disabled and cannot clean for you or even suffer fro you because she is too ill? Will you take care of her or dump her? Would you be willing to live without having sex with her if she gets ill with a vaginal cancer? Yes, these are extreme unlikely cased but I'm wondering about YOUR devotion.

And you can continue wondering about MY devotion.

I take care of my things.

Are you parsimonious or generous by nature?

I’m frugal. If I can get the same quality at a lower cost, I will.

If I can get by without it now and get something better later, I will.

If it’s an opportunity that won’t likely come again, I’ll grab it.

If it’s for the care of a loved one, I won’t begrudge the cost.

What is the effect of Dovey's autism on her life and your relationship? Would she respond similarly?

It means that we’re a LOT more analytical about everything we talk about.

It means that we don’t have to be guarded when talking to each other for fear of offending.

It means that the autistic quirks aren’t such a strange thing.

It means that we don’t need to fill the room with sound in order to feel the love.

inside-mathilda:

I love it to be in (your) restraints. I love it when you lock me up. I love your cuffs, shackles, chains and locks (and I love that you have German locks). I love it when I can’t move freely because it is a constant reminder that I am yours, that I am property, that you decide and I obey - and I love that too. Although I would never want to do that, I love the feeling that I couldn’t run away from you even if I wanted to. I love it to be completely dependant on you. Because I trust you. I love it to have no say, I don’t want it, no rights, I don’t want them. I love your control over me. I love that you control everything. Literally. I love to feel your power over me in every possible way. I love to serve you, I live to serve you. I love to see you happy. I love it that you keep me. I love you for keeping me. I love you.

You are the best Master I can imagine. You are everything I ever dreamed of. You are everything to me 🖤

@keepingher

Mine. Always.

You can never forget; I’ve made sure of that.

This might be a weird question. I have a dog, a black lab, who although he is very affectionate and VERY protective of me, does NOT listen to me. Never has. My aunt and uncle (I live with them), who both have dominant personalities, he listens to them. Never to me. Do you think he's picking up on the fact that I myself am submissive and that's why he doesn't really listen and is so protective of me?

Dogs are pack animals, so they’re highly attuned to dominance and submission. Dogs don’t differentiate based on species; they’ll very quickly fit themselves into the right place in the pecking order, and that place can end up above or below certain humans.

Is it acceptable for me as a sub, to be taken by another man or woman and submit to their desires? I would love this to happen without my husband knowing.

Would your husband be happy if he found out?

This is where your moral code comes into conflict with your needs. Do your unmet needs trump your wedding vows?

I can always fill her day.

How many hours do you work a day? Do you have weekends off and if so how do you like to enjoy your weekends?

I do a regular work day, with weekends off to do whatever. There are many many square km of parks right next to us so it’s nice to get outside, but also fine to putter around the home, practice guitar, etc.

I’ve taken care of everything.

Have you gotten rid of ur stories? If not can u link them

You can get to them via the"important links" link at the top of the blog.

Because I can.

The philosophy and psychology of insomnia: for a little while I thought my insomnia derives from fear of nightmares. But now I think it symbolizes the fear of death. Do you feel same? When you are unable to sleep but he is sleeping soundly, do you not worry that his "hold" over you is diminished as he does not have full control over you? As a sub I don't like the idea of being awake when my man is "subdued" by sleep. Makes him helpless and I like my dom to be all powerful all the time.

keptmathilda:

That’s in fact a very popular theme in German (/general) literature, we even have a famous novel about it with the title “Schlafes Bruder” (literally “Sleeps brother”).
Subconsciously there might be a connection, but consciously I don’t feel like it had something to do with this. It’s just my thoughts and feelings that are keeping me awake.

No, I don’t have the feeling His hold over me is diminished when He sleeps and I’m awake. First: I’m locked up at night so even when He is asleep I’m still not free to leave or do what I want and if He wouldn’t unlock me in the morning I had absolutely no chance to get out of my restraints (on my own). So He still has power over me in His sleep. Second: Even without chains and locks He had. What gives Him power over me is not that He has the keys to the locks or superior physical strength or something like this. Even in cuffs I could stab Him in His sleep if I wanted to do that or call the police to cut me out of my chains and leave or whatever. What gives Him power over me (gives a Master power over his slave in general) is the invisible things, the nature of our relationship to each other, my unconditional devotion to Him, my desire to have Him happy at all times etc. This is what enables Him to lock me up and use all those visible signs of control in the first place.

Warning: Autistic frankness ahead ~ I don’t mean to do this but you could feel offended.

If you need those visible, physical things, those symbols, to feel his hold over you, if you don’t feel it without them, he simply has no hold over you! Then you have no relationship as Master and slave (not in the usual sense of the word at least). Then it’s nothing more than a captor-captive-thing that is over the second the locks come off… or to use your example the second the drugs wear off.

And…

If you can’t stand him sleeping because you need to have him in control and power at all times it’s even ‘worse’ (from my perspective). If you can’t stand him sleeping (for this reason) you also can’t stand him crying, hurt, injured, sad, weak, ill, desperate etc… If you can’t stand him being vulnerable at all, it is impossible to have a relationship with him in which you are cared for. Nobody is always strong and in control and if you would want the illusion of that you would have to settle with someone who constantly pretends to be in control, who doesn’t trust you enough to show you his weak sides, who has no need for you to know his true self, who never shares his feelings with you…. And you would want a person like this to lock you up? …. If that’s what you want, the bdsm community is the wrong place to look, because you would want to be, and be, a victim and not a slave/sub.

You WILL see him out of control sometimes, suffering, weak, lost. He is a human being. And that he is able and willing to show you everything of him, that being vulnerable before you doesn’t make him feel less dominant or to lose control over you, or you less submissive or controlled by him, is what shows that what you have is real, is more than a fetish or a game. That’s (a big part of) love between a Master and a slave.

Are you working on a book that will discuss the sub's point of view and if so, is Dovie your inspiration? Do you tell your girl, on daily or even hourly basis, that everything will be OK?

My next book will discuss submissive issues, so yes, she’ll have a lot to say on the subject.

And yes, I do reassure her when she needs it. Some days it’s only a few times. Other days it can be multiple times in an hour.

Do you and your girl share everything people write to the both of you? I hope so.

Everything important, yes.

"do “no safeword” sessions"--isn't it right then and there that from a willing sub she becomes a potential victim?

Yes, exactly. That’s why it must be done within strict parameters, and only with someone you already share a deep bond of trust with, and only as a trust building exercise when other things aren’t working.

It’s very similar to the classic fall-and-catch trust exercise where you fall backwards and your partner catches you. The further he lets you fall before catching you, the more likely you are to start twisting to recover and mitigate the fall. The more often he catches you, the more you’re able to trust that he WILL catch you every time and not let you come to harm.

Silly question but one I have been wondering about for some time: do you like to keep your fingernails a little longer because of playing the guitar?

Yes. It’s a constant battle to keep them long enough for guitar, but short enough for boxing.

You can’t fuck anything up now.

Such a cute little pet.

I don’t care if it takes longer in chains.

I am a sub in my relationship and I was the one that brought BDSM up to begin with and it took a while but now my guy is very into it and I love it but I find myself being scared of doing what I want to do or not being able to do something he wants. So I always end up ruining the night cause I force him to stop. How can I get better and not being so anxious I really want to be roughed up ya know what I’m saying but once we start I cop out. Any advice?

The issue is one of trust. You’re both just starting out, and that means that he will be unsure of himself, and you’ll be unsure of him as well.

Establish a safe word and agree upon the circumstances of its use (i.e. don’t use it when you’re getting scared; use it when you REALLY are in trouble).

Next, establish a baseline for the things he does to you. Go like you have before, to the point that you stopped things, and talk about it. Establish where you went as the baseline.

Next, do “no safeword” sessions, where he goes up to the baseline and just a little bit further (i.e. a tiny bit further from the point where you got scared enough to stop things), with the understanding that nothing you say will stop him, not even the safe word. This is going to be scary, because it’s a surrender that requires a HUGE amount of trust. On his side, he must show his honor by not taking it too far past the baseline. To my other readers, this is NOT something you do with someone you’re not in an intimate relationship with. This is a trust building exercise with someone you already share a bond of deep trust with.

As you do these “stretching sessions”, it’ll help him to understand where your limits are (and how and if they can be stretched), and it’ll help you to surrender more freely to him because you’ll share a deeper trust.

And my biggest piece of advice: GIVE IT TIME.

This is how you compare to me.

Winter is such great fun!

This is Dovey.

She is my property.

“Please“ won’t help you now.

“Broken” by Montycrusto.

He’s doing the “Kinktober” challenge, producing one drawing per day with a particular subject. Go visit his page to encourage him!