December 2017

Love that pumpkin...he he great for a Halloween post. I loved Prometheus. Which are a few Sci Fi movies you do like? Mine: Space Odyssey (all), Matrix, Terminator (all), Soylent Greens, Interstellar, Bicentennial Man, AI (though heartbreaking :( ), Contact (based on Carl Sagan's book), Pitch Black (all 3). Metropolis, The Andromeda Strain, Inception, Children of Man, Solaris, Fifth Element, Minority Report &Transcendence. Do you like Vin diesel Jason Statham? Do you like Bond movies/characters?


Sci fi movies that were well done: Alien (1&2 only), Predator (1 only), Terminator (1&2 only), Matrix (1 only), Moon, 2001, 12 Monkeys, Gattaca, Existenz, Westworld, Flatliners, The Andromeda Strain, The Naked Lunch, A Scanner Darkly

Sci fi movies that were good, mindless entertainment: Total Recall, Galaxy Quest, Guardians of the Galaxy, The Martian, Blade Runner, The Empire Strikes Back, The Wrath of Khan, The Road Warrior, 6 String Samurai, Robocop, Dark City, Predestination, Tremors, The Fly, Brazil, Back to the Future, Gravity, Damnation Alley, Brainwarp, Buckaroo Banzai, Time Bandits

AI would have made my “entertaining” list if the movie had ended at the encounter with the blue fairy.

Interstellar would have made my “well done” list if it hadn’t been for the stupidly unlikely decisions on what planets to visit.

I liked Jason Statham in Snatch, Lock Stock, and Mean Machine.

I liked Sean Connery and Roger Moore as Bond.

Actually, I forgot some animated ones I liked:

Rock & Rule, Fantastic Planet, Akira, Cowboy Bebop (series & movie), Ghost in the Shell (movie, not series), Macross Plus, A Wind Named Amnesia, Laputa, Serial Experiments Lain (series), Toki wo Kakeru Shoujo (the girl who leaps through time), Ergo Proxy (series).

Of those, Toki wo Kakeru Shoujo would be my all time favorite.

Honorable mentions: Evangelion, Paprika

So sorry about Dark City. I see you did mention it. But here is one that is amazing at least to me: Knowing, with Nicholas Cage. Have you seen it?

Nope but now I’m going to. Looks interesting!

I also wanted to add, I do know, and understand, why some doms (like you) would not want to kidnap anyone for "love" because of the "stigma" of people who do this. Neither did I intend to hint I think of anyone less if he did not do it. I was simply wondering how obsessive you are in general and particularly about Dovey. I find this trait of obsession the most beautiful and to me it's a treasure. Dovey mentioned one of her exes (whom she hated) was like it. Needless to say, I was very jealous!

It’s hard to say whether I’m capable of obsessive love or not… As a thought experiment, if I were for some reason to actually abduct a girl, I’d know the stakes, and do everything in my power to keep her hidden away from everyone, which in a way would mirror the obsessive love, in that she’d be my little treasure in the basement.

Almost forgot!! The Day The Earth Stood Still, both versions. Gives me chills, and I love them. You?

I saw the old one. Didn’t know there was a remake. It was cool, but not in my top list.

Guitar question: can any song or composition be performed on a guitar or is it more limited than a piano? For example, could you play Queen's You Take My Breath Away on your guitar?

With a piano, you have full range in two voices. With a guitar, you have full range, but certain two voice combinations aren’t possible because you’d have to stretch your fingers beyond their limit. There are combinations on the keyboard that you simply can’t do on guitar, but we get around that by making use of null-sound or harmonics or chords with missing thirds to imply the intended tone (where you “hear” a tone that isn’t actually there). It’s tricky (composition wise) but doable.

I am certain Dovey is your biggest fan but you must have other women who silently admire you from afar. For the sake of some balance, LOL, would you mind telling maybe one flaw, shortcoming, negative thing in your behavior or character that would make you sound more human and less like a demigod? Dovey has written so many amazing things about you and from your own writing it is clear you have many positive traits.

I’m definitely no god. Perfection makes you unreachable, and gods live a lonely, disconnected life.

My need for order can be trying sometimes, as Dovey has found out. When things are too chaotic, I get very stressed and demanding and even unreasonable.

I also have a tendency to hyperfocus when I’m on a task, to the exclusion of EVERYTHING else. These fugues can last for days if I’m not careful. Useful for technical work, but not so great for personal relationships.

I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt far longer than I should, to my own detriment. It’s not altruism - it’s self defeating and sets me back far too often.

I’m very stubborn because I’m used to being right, and it blinds me to the fact that I’m often actually wrong… Actually only once. There was a time where I thought I’d made a mistake, but then it turned out I hadn’t.

Did you like Dark City?

It was an entertaining concept. You just had to judiciously ignore the bad acting and directing.

Love that pumpkin...he he great for a Halloween post. I loved Prometheus. Which are a few Sci Fi movies you do like? Mine: Space Odyssey (all), Matrix, Terminator (all), Soylent Greens, Interstellar, Bicentennial Man, AI (though heartbreaking :( ), Contact (based on Carl Sagan's book), Pitch Black (all 3). Metropolis, The Andromeda Strain, Inception, Children of Man, Solaris, Fifth Element, Minority Report &Transcendence. Do you like Vin diesel Jason Statham? Do you like Bond movies/characters?

Sci fi movies that were well done: Alien (1&2 only), Predator (1 only), Terminator (1&2 only), Matrix (1 only), Moon, 2001, 12 Monkeys, Gattaca, Existenz, Westworld, Flatliners, The Andromeda Strain, The Naked Lunch, A Scanner Darkly

Sci fi movies that were good, mindless entertainment: Total Recall, Galaxy Quest, Guardians of the Galaxy, The Martian, Blade Runner, The Empire Strikes Back, The Wrath of Khan, The Road Warrior, 6 String Samurai, Robocop, Dark City, Predestination, Tremors, The Fly, Brazil, Back to the Future, Gravity, Damnation Alley, Brainwarp, Buckaroo Banzai, Time Bandits

AI would have made my “entertaining” list if the movie had ended at the encounter with the blue fairy.

Interstellar would have made my “well done” list if it hadn’t been for the stupidly unlikely decisions on what planets to visit.

I liked Jason Statham in Snatch, Lock Stock, and Mean Machine.

I liked Sean Connery and Roger Moore as Bond.

Making sure everything’s just right.

Have you seen the movie Prometheus? You remind me of the first engineer who sacrificed his life for humanity.

I only watched part of it. I didn’t really like that movie much. I’m very picky when it comes to movies in general, but EXTREMELY picky when it comes to sci-fi.

I need your help with defining a character. A man who would kill anyone close to the one he loves so he can have her all to himself. Isolate her and keep her to himself while being the ultimate protector or caregiver of her. The ask: how many men like this exist? How do you look for one if these are secrets most men won't admit even to themselves? What makes a woman (like me), want this, want him? Is it reflective of how insecure I am or is it a yin and yang of the same thing? I would love him.

I’d call it obsession. To find an obsessive man, you must seek out an obsessive personality, which will leak out in what he writes or posts.

Insecurity is part of the package for submissives. Some feel it more than others. An obsessive man is a man who (in theory) would never leave you. By extension, a man who obsesses enough to kidnap you would, having committed a felony, be stuck with you. His only other option should he change his mind would be to kill you. That’s a very secure position to be in.

Mind you, obsessive people tend to be unstable in general, so you’ll get a grab bag of mental issues along with him.

I really liked the picture of you as a pirate. A pirate who meets a damsel in distress and takes her for himself. If Dovey ever asked you to abduct her, would you? I know she doesn't like it so it will never happen but if she liked it, and you knew she secretly wanted it, would you do it? If Dovey ever asked you to learn how to administrate IV in case she gets sick but doesn't want to go to the hospital, or rather, you don't want her in the hospital, would you do it? I think every dom must learn

There isn’t any need to abduct her. She’s my property.

I’m not sure where this IV thing is going… I’d want her to get the best medical care. If anything, she’d be better at it than most medical practitioners, having 15 years experience herself.

Alone at last.


Lying in my new little bed at my Master’s feet and watching Him filing the edges of my collar. This is the first time my collar came off since He locked it on me a month ago and it feels weird, I miss the weight around my neck and I don’t really feel complete anymore without it. But it’s so lovely how He makes sure the edges don’t hurt my skin 🖤
I can’t wait until He’s finished and I finally have it back around my neck.

All done!


Only the inside is filed, so there’s not actually anything different to an outside observer. But you can see on the unfiled outside how the edges, though beveled, are still too sharp for long term wear.

When I take it, I mean it.


She used to say she shouldn’t be judged by her appearance

but he was right

she does feel more confident in a pretty dress.

She used to say she didn’t need male attention

but he was right

there’s nothing wrong with a little flattery.

She used to say she wouldn’t change for a man

but he was right

refusing to change is just stubbornness.

She used to say she was independent and free

but he was right

there’s nothing wrong with relying on someone else.

She used to say she was his equal

but he was right

it’s better that they’re so different.

She used to say she made up her own mind

but He was right.

He was always right.

Thank you so much for your answer. I found the comfort I desperately needed in it.

Very welcome! Keep your hopes up and your hands busy.

Would you ever consider taking a submissive with a mental illness/have you ever in the past? How would you/how have you approached it in your rules or care for her? Sorry for the long question.



Just so you know, I’m not singling you out with this; I just want to rant a bit.

It seems that there’s an idea floating around about a “perfect” D/s relationship. An idea that if you could just embody this particular list of traits and abilities, you’ll do okay. And if not, well, you’re at a disadvantage (if you’ll ever find someone at all). Of course the ironic part is that, even though so many seem to believe in this ideal, nobody can quite say what the actual list entails.

When I deal with a submissive, I’m dealing with a person. She’s going to have issues, because all submissives do. She’s going to fuck things up, she’s going to have anxiety, she’s going to have phobias, things she’s absolutely terrible at, demons & regrets, a less than stellar past, worries and melt downs, and we’re only just getting started. She may have other complications, like epilepsy or cancer or poor circulation or deaf-mute or schizophrenia or a heart condition or depression or any myriad possibility. It’s called being human.

When you look online at all these pictures of perfect BDSM scenes and perfect stories and perfect anecdotes and perfect love letters between sub and dom, there’s a BIG part of a dominant’s role that is too often overlooked: Care.

Care means a lot of things. It means actually giving a damn what happens to her. It means wanting her to live a good life. It means supporting her where she’s weak. It means being there for her when she breaks down. It means taking time out to tell her you love her. It means understanding her limits and approaching them with compassion. And I’m not talking BDSM oriented limits; I’m talking about her limits in life. I’m talking about illness or injury or depressive episodes or even just a bad day and feeling overwhelmed.

We’re all human, and our needs are all unique. When I take a submissive, I may be in charge, but we’re still in this together. The rules I lay down are specific to HER. The training I do is specific to HER. There is no One True Way™ that I just bend her into. It’s a dance. It’s life. Life is messy and exciting and even bizarre sometimes, yet it always finds a way to go outside of your expectations. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Of all the seventhousandsomething posts on His blog this has always been my favorite. It was the first post by Him I read, as a reblog or like on another blog, and I remember thinking that whoever wrote this would make a wonderful master.

Now, only a little over half a year later, this ‘whoever’ is my ‘wonderful Master’ and I experience first-hand, that these weren’t just empty words, He really is this committed, this loving and caring about the girl He loves. And I’m so eternally grateful that I am this girl.

Thank You for everything, Sir. If You let me, I will spend the rest of my life doing everything in my power to make You happy - this is a promise.

It’s really a shame that this post didn’t get more circulation. The human aspect is so VITALLY important to understand.

Dovey is my girl. Of her I am proud.

Hi. This is a completely abstract philosophical question: you can have only one master at a time, correct? So why would you mind if lonely subs would benefit from having their own Karls to themselves? Think about how sad and lonely you were before you met him. Think about the other needy, dependent girls out there. If in theory it was possible, wouldn't it be fantastic if he could be cloned? You will not have anything less of him. Why not allow other girls have perfect masters like him? I wish.


Of course, I think, nobody would like the thought of artificially creating an identical copy of the person you love and ‘give’ this copy to another person for a relationship - I’m really astound that you (anybody) don’t seem to share this opinion. If you love someone you are (normally, there are exceptions) naturally possessive of this person, you don’t want to share your love with others. What you describe is a form of sharing your love with another woman, an alternative sort of sharing but still a sort of sharing. I would never share my Master with another woman, I couldn’t stand that, it would make me extremely unhappy.

That’s the first point. But it’s irrelevant, because of the second:

You don’t seem to understand how relationships work, human beings, interpersonal relations…

He is objectively not ‘perfect’. He is a human being with shortcomings, flaws, negative and annoying sides and traits, who makes mistakes and stupid things sometimes like all other people on this planet. 

He is perfect for me. Because we have many things in common. Because our characters complement each other astonishingly well. Because He likes and loves the things about me that make me who I am and I like and love the things about Him that make Him who He is. Because what I have to offer is what He needs and wants and what He has to offer is what I need and want. Because we are sexually a perfect match, because we have the same limits, preferences, aversions. Because there is something between us that can’t be described with words, something that just makes us feel so comfortable in each other’s presence. Because we are on a similar intellectual level, have similar interest, similar preferences in music and movies and many other things. Because my physical appearance is appealing to Him and His to me. Because everything that makes me me, my genes, my experiences, my dreams, make me a person whom He finds interesting, whom He likes spending time with, whom He feels comfortable around, whom He fell in love with. And everything that makes Him Him makes Him a person towards whom I have the same feelings. He is perfect for me. He matches me.

This doesn’t mean He would work with some other person. You can’t just take a happy couple and assume that he is happy with her or she is happy with him makes him or her in general someone who works well in relationships with everyone. That’s not how it works. Nobody is -generally- a good partner or Master. Who is a good partner or Master to someone is completely individual. What applies to one person or couple does not necessarily apply to somebody else.

Yes, He is a wonderful person and has the right character traits a good Master needs. He is caring, responsible, intelligent, independent, disciplined, compassionate etc. That’s the basis. Without this somebody can’t be a good Master. But if a person like this can be a good Master to -you- is a completely different thing. If your characters and dreams and intellect and preferences etc. don’t match, it won’t work, no matter how ‘perfect’ somebody in general is.

So there is no point in cloning my Master or anybody for somebody else, it just doesn’t make sense. It’s not more or less likely that this clone would be a match for you than that your neighbour or colleague would be. It just doesn’t work like this. 

You have to go out into the world and find your match. You have to search and do something for it, take risks, dare to step out of your comfort zone, become active. You can’t just create your personal perfect master. Go and look for him.

VERY depressive about finding a good dom. Sounds next to impossible...

The one advantage you have over regular people in relationships is that you have a MUCH better idea of what your needs are. When most people enter a relationship, they tend to base their decision on superficial things (“He’s fun to be around”, “the sex is great”, “I feel like I can share anything with her”, “We like so many of the same things”). And while those are very nice and all, not a single one of them addresses THE most important consideration in ANY relationship: “Can I meet his needs, and can he meet mine?” - And also the closely related cousin: “WHAT are his needs, and WHAT are my needs?”

A D/s relationship begins with at least one of those needs explicitly spelled out, and although that doesn’t absolve you of the responsibility for the other needs, it’s a damn sight better than what 99% of the rest of the world is doing, giving you a better chance of relationship success.

Now, that said, in any relationship, you need to be sure of the sincerity of the other person. There are assholes and victimizers and honey traps in all walks of life, and avoiding such people takes practice and experience. Over time and after suffering a number of falls and bruises, you figure out what to look for, because chances are you’re not in the 0.00001% of people who win the lottery.

Side note: Did you know that most people who win the (money) lottery are back to being poor within 5 years? What comes easy is never valued until it’s gone. Only people who have worked hard for what they have will value it and fight for it.

What you are looking for (in ANY relationship) is someone who understands value, and is willing to put in the work to preserve it. What I described in my previous post is the logical outlook of a dom who understands value and has expended effort in learning how to preserve it (because nobody is born with innate knowledge). The very same thing could be said of any other circumstance. If you want to preserve what you value, you’re going to have to learn how to fight for it.

And so, as you observe relationship dynamics, seeing and experiencing what works and what doesn’t, you start to learn what to look for in a mate. Most of what you see on Tumblr (or any other social platform) is posturing bullshit. Every relationship you see online is only a small part of the story. Did you know that Dovey and I had a huge fight yesterday? Am I going to post about that? Nope. It’s nobody else’s business - we keep a lot of our stuff private. But rest assured, relationships are hard work, and “love conquers all” is only true when you’re ready and willing to fight for it.

For anyone who’s serious about relationships, I highly recommend this talk by Dr John Gottman:

I like when you take pics that depict her hair cover Dovey's face.

She has very beautiful hair, doesn’t she? <3

When will you brand Dovey?

Not until things have settled down.

Dovey’s new bed

Dovey’s bed finally arrived! I was starting to get annoyed because it was supposed to be at my door last week, but things move slowly here.

Worth the wait, though <3

What kind of pervert am I? Want to be raped by only by a loving master. Want to lay there like a corps. It doesn't necessarily have to hurt but I want to feel and know I have no choice in the matter. I only want one man to do it and only to me: total monogamy. This is the only way I can feel fulfilled in sex. I like the lack of responsibility.

The desire for passivity is more common than people let on. Dovey is passive in sex, not wanting the responsibility of performing, and I like a girl who is passive in sex and only does what I tell her to do, which is usually to present a hole for me to fuck if I’m not beating her at the time. But that’s somehow “wrong” because she’s boring and I’m selfish. I’m fulfilled in using, and she’s fulfilled in being of use.

Do you agree that the best practice with a sub who has a guilty conscience about cumming is forced orgasms?

In a sense. Removing responsibility for the act also removes culpability.

What did you mean by there's enough competition re ask about clones?

I mean that my uniqueness opens unique opportunities. No need to have someone else taking them.

It it were possible to clone you, would you agree?

Nope. There’s enough competition as it is!

Do you know if there are more good subs than good doms? If there are more good subs than good doms, then it means a shortage of good doms. Any idea how to change this imbalance?

I think the major issue is that there are much stricter requirements to success for a dom than there are for a sub. In both cases, you need a proper attitude, but for a dom it also requires a minimum level of responsibility, stability (financial & mental), and discipline. Taking charge of another person is a LOT of work, which is why most men don’t like to do it, and are turned off by women who are too “clingy” and “needy”. Most men want their space, and don’t want their woman near all the time.

When you take charge of someone, the majority of what you do falls under the “thankless” category, because the sub can’t see the logic or long term benefits of your labor (otherwise they’d be doing it themselves, and wouldn’t need a dom). Or they do understand but need to be forced to do it. It takes a lot of empathy and patience to both understand this failing and actually be willing to handle it.

Then there’s the issue that alpha males make up less than 5% of any given population. That’s a rule of nature in ANY population - not just humans - because a larger percentage becomes too disruptive to the group, and they end up attacking and killing each other off until their numbers go back down (this town ain’t big enough for the both of us).

Then there’s the issue of intelligence. It’s important that the dominant be more intelligent than the sub (you’d have trouble following orders you know are stupid). The problem here is that the female intelligence curve clusters towards the center, whereas the male curve stretches out farther to the ends. This means that, while their averages are about the same, there are more men at the extremes (more intelligent or less intelligent than most women). And even worse, the male clustering is dense at the low end. So if 1/3 of men are less intelligent than most women and only 1/5 are more intelligent, that skews your chances away from finding a good dom. This is, incidentally, the major driving force for the fetishization of the “dumb cunt.”

Thus, you’re talking about a pretty unlikely combination to make a good dom. Without the drive, intelligence, temperament, and outright luck in skirting the laws of nature, it just ain’t happening.

Why did you take a 1 year hiatus in 2013 from Tumblr? Didn't you miss it?

Back then I was just using Tumblr as a place to backup my favorite porn. I got distracted by something else happening at the time and forgot about it.

Your Goodnight TUMBLR is so beautiful. Visually you look like a heavenly match even without knowing how compatible you are on the inside. What mood were you when you took it? Happy, tired, sad, neutral? And Dovey?

Just content, I guess.

Goodnight, Tumblr.



Sitting at my Master’s feet while He is playing the guitar for me is one of the most wonderful things in the world. - Recently He even started singing for me while playing and His voice is so beautiful. No doubt… I’m the luckiest slave in the world 😻
I love You so much, Sir. You make me happy every day, with everything You’re doing. You’re a wonderful Owner.

(How could I not be willing to happily suffer for and serve this man and do everything He wants?!)




Gute Nacht, Tumblr! / Good night Tumblr!

Even in my sleep I’m under Your control. - I love it to sleep in Your chains.

She’s never been out of my chains since I got an apartment.

Her collar hasn’t been removed since I locked it on last month.

He means this literally, the chains never come off, not even when I leave the apartment. Of course outside they are not linked to both the cuffs/shackles, they are wrapped around my wrist/ankle instead, but I wear them all the time.

This is why I like this style of cuffs so much. It makes managing them so much easier when you use a padlock and your own chain, rather than a built-in locking mechanism with a permanently attached chain,


@keepingher (:


Am I mentally ill to want to be the captive of a caring master?

No, you’re not. It’s actually a fairly common thing, but one that’s rarely talked about since there’s such a stigma against it, and also finding a good master in the sea of shitty ones is difficult to say the least.

Dovey is like this. Since I’ve taken possession of her, I’ve watched her mental health improve dramatically in the stable environment I’m building.

How much does one month cost to live in East Germany? Rent (1 bedroom) + utilities + food?

Rent for this place is 450, plus electricity. Food is probably around 400 a month but it’s been hard to keep track of my expenses in the past since I only recently got a bank account.

Happy 40K. Who do you think are your followers, more men or women, and only from the BDSM community or? 40K is a big number in Tumblr?

Judging from the reblogs and likes it looks pretty evenly split between men and women, mostly from folks interested in BDSM. I’m not sure what would constitute a big number on Tumblr, but it took 5 years to reach 40K (although admittedly I took a 1 year hiatus in 2013).

So how was your Christmas? Did you dress up like Santa and spanked her? Do you train every day with a coach on boxing and yoga? I do not understand why you need to do that as you are a pro and can train alone? But if you still need a guide, does he come to your place or you go to them and if you go to them does Dovey stay alone? Is it not pricey to employ a trainer on a daily basis? And now to an entirely separate ask by nature: do you think your love for Dovey has "lessened" a bit your sadism?

Our Christmas was very low key. It’s been an exhausting few months and I was glad to have some time off to do - ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

I do boxing and yoga and guitar lessons over Skype. You can’t do it as a beginner, but if you have the fundamentals in place it can definitely be done. The more “pro” you are, the higher the level of training you need. There is no end to how far you can go. I do meet my trainers in person from time to time when I happen to be in the area, at which point we do intensive training in things that are difficult to do online, and to deal with any bad habits that hard hard to see over video.

My sadism hasn’t changed since meeting Dovey. It’s a part of me.


Gute Nacht, Tumblr! / Good night Tumblr!

Even in my sleep I’m under Your control. - I love it to sleep in Your chains.

She’s never been out of my chains since I got an apartment.

Her collar hasn’t been removed since I locked it on last month.

Could you survive without him being physically by your side for more than a day? I'm a sub too but unlike you 1) cannot defend myself 2) cannot be on my own for long or even shorter periods of time.


‘Survive’ like in ‘not die / continue to keep up my vital functions like heartbeat and breathing’ ? Yes, I certainly could. ‘Survive’ like in ‘continue to live a normal life / a life like I live it when my Master is present / be happy’? No, definitely not. 

I’ve grown too dependant on Him to be able to be happy without Him anymore. Many people might find this a negative, a sad thing for everyone should be able to generate happiness out of oneself or on one’s own, but I don’t share this opinion. I feel lost without Him, my happiness depends on Him/His’ and so does my ability to do something meaningful with myself or my life. I’m depressed without Him, I need His presence to feel safe - I don’t mean physically safe, even though I feel much saf/er/ when He is with me, but a mental, psychological state of mind, an abstract feeling of safety in comparison to a constant irrational anxiety -, to be calm, to not be depressed all the time – and I don’t consider this to be something negative. It means that I have a deep, a -deep-, a very deep NEED for Him and as long as we are together, that’s a wonderful thing. It only causes problems if we would be separated from each other, because it would make me feel deeply lost. But I would -survive- it, yes.

No, this dependency is not a negative. She relies on me for certain aspects of her life so that she can focus on other fulfilling parts. All relationships are like this in various ways. Ours just happens to put her in a vulnerable position. But it’s an acceptable tradeoff when it involves someone she trusts because she couldn’t be fulfilled otherwise.

Just something that I noticed: you keep writing you are mentally ill but you sound very reasonable and in charge. Is it possible you have been cured by the power of love?


No, that’s not possible. That my cognitive functions work close to maximum efficiency doesn’t mean that my emotional reactions/processes couldn’t be completely out of balance, that I couldn’t feel terrible, at the same time. You have no idea what’s going on in my head….

A depression is not (necessarily) only a psychological matter, in fact most times it isn’t. A so called clinical depression is an imbalance in someone’s brain chemistry, the brain is not able to produce certain neurotransmitters, dopamin, serotonin etc, on its own anymore. That’s why anti-depressants ~ providing the brain artificially with those agents work in most cases. A relationship can’t just change that.

I still have a depression, I’m still utterly depressed sometimes, there are still dark, dark things going on in my mind you don’t want to know about, I still feel like a crazy person… but living in a stable environment, feeling loved and cared for, feeling safe, having someone help me when I’m down etc makes it so much easier to deal with these things. I can laugh again, I have times when I feel very happy and, and that’s the most wonderful aspect of all, when I think about my future I don’t think anymore ‘I hope I just die soon’ but ‘I hope I live long to have as much time with Him as possible’. That’s in fact the biggest change since I am with Him… before I couldn’t wait to finally die, now I’m scared I die too early and don’t have time to live this new life with Him.


Merry Christmas!

Bad girls get the best present of all!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas to all!

Also happy 40k!

It’s important to care for your pets.

I thought you love the feeling of not being able to run away but then you posted you hated it? Is there anything at all you don't like in your master? What are you getting him for XMAS?



It’s a paradox. It’s the same as with pain. I hate (enduring) pain but I love enduring pain for Him to make Him happy. Likewise I hate it (even more) when I can’t run away from this pain, but I love it to be helpless before Him.

Because I don’t like, it it’s a sacrifice. And I like to make Him the gift of a sacrifice.

Yes, of course there are also things I don’t like about Him. See third point of my list what I love about Him, “He is a human being”. Noone is perfect, not even Him (forgive me for revealing this secret about You, Sir (: )

Our mutual Christmas gift will be spending a wonderful evening together, being close to each other, talk and laugh and fuck and be happy that we have each other.

Wait what??? I thought we all agreed that I was perfect!

Your suffering is by my choice.

The Salt Quest

Wouldn’t you know it? We’re out of salt! A calamity for sure, as Dovey requires such an ingredient for the potions of vitality I’ve come to depend upon!

It being past the witching hour (21:00), the markets are all closed. I therefore don my traveling cloak and head to the nearest gas station in the hopes they would carry such a precious cargo.

I wave to the patrons of the local tavern, but they take no notice of me. I’m in a hurry anyway, so I continue my quest. Eventually I spot that familiar glow that one naturally associates with such sources of power.

Alas, the store section is closed, but there is a small window on the right hand side where one of the local elves will fetch what you need, for a price.

Now, in this zone one carries a plastic card which grants access to goods. Usually this would be enough, but the elf lady coldly informs me that they do not trust such gnomish mechanisms in these parts, and only paper bills would be acceptable to her. There is, she tells me, a place to exchange for paper money called a Sparkasse, not too far to the South.

I pull my card out and sure enough, it is of the correct type.

I start walking in a southerly direction, and then stop. I know from experience that these elves are a tricky bunch. How do I know I’m not walking into an ambush?

Aha! It’s to the Northwest! Sneaky bitch…

Anyone else feel that since the map feature was installed things have gotten a little too easy? I remember when getting from Freeport to Splitpaw was an adventure unto itself.

I head down the silent streets, deeper into town, keeping an eye out for werewolves.

Eventually I spot the familiar beacon.

It is here that I am finally able to exchange for paper.

Heading back, I notice that one market is still open! What devilry is this???

What’s more, they not only have the precious salt, but at a DISCOUNT!

AND they have other ingredients my Dovey was missing!

Yeah! Fuck that elf bitch and her stupid paper money quest. This is far easier!

Now Dovey has everything she needs to complete her quest :)

Hello. I'm in a BDSM relationship and considering 24/7. One of my concerns is the blackmail potential from possible "friends". How does one handle that correctly? I don't have lots of money so I'm afraid this would be just for fun to gain control over me and tell my boss bad family in order to shame me if I don't agree to do this or that, like helping a friend cheat on her boyfriend. I refuse to live in fear. Done nothing wrong. How do you stop bullies and nutjobs from making threats?

That’s always a potential hazard. The more open you can be about your lifestyle, the less blackmail is possible. In fact, that’s the main reason why I released my book under my own name (I had someone attempting to blackmail me, but he’s strangely silent now).

In the end, the only way to fight blackmail is to hit the other person in ways they can’t talk about. Put them into the same cage of silence they tried to put you in. For example, if I were to hear about one of Dovey’s old friends attempting to blackmail her, I’d pay this person a visit to have a nice chat. I’d be very polite and make no specific references, but we’d both know why I’m there, and it would be clear that I have direct access to this person should anything secret come out in future.

There are only two ways to fight fear: Let the light shine in on the subject of fear, or cause some fear yourself.

Dovey said if she weighed more you wouldn't want her. So, if she weighed 1 more pound, 5, 10, is this true? You would give her up for pounds? What if she weighed less, would that be ok?

I’d give her up for 12.73 pounds. No more, no less.

Have you thought of maybe renting out your place in Canada for rental income?

That’s one option depending on how things go. There’s still a lot of paper to sort out on both sides of the pond.