January 2018

I’ll never let you go. You’re mine now.

Do you have any tips for new people learning about bdsm and finding their place in the scene?

First, some rules:

  1. Always trust your gut. If something feels off, it is. We’ve evolved this ability to smell danger over millions of years, so use it.
  2. The more you talk to someone, the more you’ll learn about them, including what they don’t want to reveal. You can’t hide your true personality for longer than a few months.

Next, some advice:

Take a lot of time to think about what your deepest needs are. You can look at your life and past relationships to help, finding places where you’ve felt a lack, places where you’ve constantly felt frustrated, and the longings you’ve felt. That’s your psyche whispering to you. Listen intently, and it will tell you what you need. For submissives, the most common traits are:

From there, you can drill down into the various BDSM practices and find out which ones attract you and which ones repel you. Be sure to think about why this is, as it will help you in the later steps when choosing a mate who complements your needs.

Now you can figure out what kind of dom or sub you are best matched to. Some subs want a daddy. Others want a master. Others want a captor. Some need 24/7. Others just want in the bedroom. Others are happy with online only. Your needs will play into this preference.

As for the scene itself, it’s a grab bag of humanity like any other crowd. There are decent people who will treat you right, but they’re in the minority, just like anywhere else. Keep your wits about you and spend time reading people before you expose too much of yourself to them. The truly bad and truly good people are rare; the average is just kinda meh.

Be patient. Learn to read people. Find reputable doms and subs who write, and read their words and experiences so that you can get a feel for what a proper relationship (and what bad relationships) look like.

I’ve never been to a munch or BDSM meetup I’ve liked. They start out with good intentions, but soon become a committee with tons of bureaucracy and silly rules that suck the life out of everything. That’s just my experience. YMMV.

Mine.

Could you define the different types of dominants seen or commonly seen in bdsm?

It’s difficult to pin them all down, and of course labeling always risks pigeon holing, but here are the major archetypes that Dovey and I were able to come up with so far. There is, of course, lots of crossover between the various archetypes:

The Daddy

His view of the perfect relationship is one of care and indulgence, as well as discipline, as if having a child in his care. There are different “age groups” within this category that his charge regresses to, each having a significant effect on how the dynamic works (stern daddy, coloring books, or even toddler stuff).

The Man of the House

This form of dominance can occur within or outside of BDSM, and generally doesn’t go far beyond spanking. It follows a more “traditional” set of roles where the man is in charge and his woman serves and supports him, like the 1950s as depicted in old television shows of the era.

The Pet Trainer

He prefers treating his sub like an animal pet, making her act out things the way a particular animal would, and setting up an environment to reinforce that.

The Slave Owner

He treats her like a slave in the literal sense of the word. Her rights are restricted in whatever ways he sees fit, and her body belongs to him, available for any use at any time.

The Online Dom

He only dominates online, weaving beautiful narratives and scenes with subs. His life in the real world will usually be drastically different. He may even be married, as could his subs. Their relationship is entirely within the fantasy realm, but can last for years.

The Bedroom Dom

He only dominates in the bedroom. Outside of sex, he’s not interested in controlling aspects of her life. They can be entirely equal in every other part of their relationship.

The Part Time Dom

He doesn’t want to live with his sub, but would rather have encounters and scenes with her on a part time basis.

The 24/7 Dom

He wants control over her at all times, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. His dominance permeates all aspects of her life.

The Wannabe

He hasn’t actually dominated someone, but wants to. He’s usually younger and still learning how things work. Often, he’ll talk big - even bigger than those who actually do.

The Trophy Collector

His interest is primarily in how many subs he’s had. Relationships with him don’t generally last long, because he’s more interested in the chase.

The Stable Master (or Harem Keeper)

He wants to have lots of subs under his command, to be called upon whenever he wants something from them.

The Caretaker

His primary interest is in using his discipline to improve her life. He’ll force her to do things that he considers good for her, whether she wants it or not.

The Loveless Dom

He doesn’t love his slave. Their relationship is purely utilitarian, and he reserves the right to end it whenever it’s no longer convenient for him, or after a prescribed period of time.

The Abuser

The abuser can love his sub, but his own neuroses cause him to tear her down and reduce her security so that she hangs on out of fear rather than love. Rules will change randomly, and he will punish for transgressions she didn’t even know about. Often he’ll justify it as “keeping her on her toes”. Living with an abuser requires her to walk on eggshells.

The Sadist

He finds satisfaction in making her suffer for him. Such a dominant needs a woman who is happy to sacrifice for him to show her devotion.

The Butcher

He likes to see blood and gore. His ideal sub is one who wants to be permanently marked up and mutilated.

The Sgt Major

He is extremely regimented, and prescribes not only what she will do, but how she will do it. Her speech, mannerisms, and actions must be impeccable. His control is absolute.

The Director

Like the Sgt Major, he wants things to happen a specific way, except that he insists on telling his sub before each “scene” how things will go, who will do what, and in what order, like a director giving instructions to actors.

The Title (Mr Leather)

He insists that everyone refer to him as “Master Soandso.” He wears all the right gear, to the point that he looks out of place in any normal setting. To him, the status matters above all else.

The Subly Dom

He calls himself dominant, but he’s actually submissive. He can put on a domly show for a little while, but very soon he’ll be seeking your approval.

The Servant Dom

He dominates, but only in the ways she wants him to. The servant dom is tuned to her feelings, and will change what he does in response to the vibe he gets from her. She in turn picks up on this, and becomes more anxious because she’s now the one controlling the relationship, which is exactly what she doesn’t want (unless she likes to top from the bottom).

The Mess

He is dominant, but his life is in shambles and he can’t seem to get his shit together. His chaos amplifies hers, making her feel even less secure than she would on her own.

The Irresponsible

He doesn’t think very far ahead, and ignores the consequences of his actions. He is sincere, but extremely dangerous.

The Bipolar

He’ll jump from happy to angry in an instant. His sub has to be VERY careful about what she says and does, because so many things will set him off.

In your opinion what is "too much" or "too controlling"?

The point where it begins to stifle one’s ability to grow.

I can always find ways to take your mind off your troubles.

She benefits from my security.

You stay put!

What do you think make a man so caring and devoted to the one he loves? This is not a very common characteristic. I mean pulling all stops and being over protective of her. Is it genes, childhood traumas, nurturing, education? Have you met other men who are as caring as you (nothing to do with BDSM) and were you always so caring to the highest degree? Do you think it is something that improves with age?

I don’t know how much nurture/nature enters into it, but I’ve always been protective of anything under my care. I’ve only met one other person who is this protective, but his protectiveness comes from fear, and so he smothers and stifles his daughter in absolutely everything, to the point that I’ve commented that he’s raising a bubble girl.

What I look at is not so much the immediate dangers, but those down the road. I do things to mitigate what’s coming, and to phase out things that are here now, so that eventually they won’t be a concern anymore. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. You have to be smart and strategize, or else you’ll find yourself out of breath and have a bad time of it. Very few people seem to have this long vision, and so it just follows naturally that I’ll take over my girl’s life and direct it.

Please help me understand something about East Germany: are there really only poor people living there? No affluent people at all? What do the professors and intelligent people eat as I am sure those folks want to eat healthy too. It's dreadful that fresh organic food is not available. I saw the pics of the moldy tomatoes. You said the meat is so and so and that good seafood is scarce. What gives? Prague has more and is a poorer country. No farms there? Why is the food so awful? No one cares?

It’s not only poor people living here, but there are far more poor in the East than in the West of Germany, simply because the industrial and financial centers are in the West, which means that the young people who want the best possible start move West, draining the East of talent.

Intelligence doesn’t imply that someone will eat properly. I know many intelligent people, but VERY few people who take their food and nutrition seriously.

You can get organic food here, but the selection is limited and the quality can be iffy sometimes. This is a poor area, and so the shops pander to that demographic by providing the cheapest food they can. That inevitably becomes a race to the bottom, because even a few cents in price can make or break a store. The best bet in the end is to go to the farmers markets (there are plenty of them here). Then you can have some confidence in the freshness of what you’re buying.

Which are your new favorite dishes that Dovey prepares for you? I like tea a lot but make it in an "instant" kind of way...I like chamomile and green tea. How do you like your tea and which kind do you prefer?

She makes a delicious tofu and onion dish. As for tea, I don’t like tea bags because the tea bags end up with the leftovers from the loose leaf stuff. Fortunately, there’s a large Turkish community here, so it’s easy to get good ingredients for tea.

Kill yourself abusive cunt

Aww you’re such a sweet talker 😘

Sorry for contradicting you Sir, but dating is a very ugly game. Of course vetting is needed but I would not recommend it to go on for months because figuring out of a couple works well together requires living together. Prolonging it to weekends only will only slow down the process. I know couples who hit it on the spot and other who took ages to vet until the spark was lost. But that said, why did it almost "blow in your faces"? Maybe miscommunication but not because it was "too soon".

Every approach has its issues. Arranged marriages have the benefit of extra vetting by people (supposedly) less emotionally involved, provided parents on both sides are discerning, and are faithful to the process. The downside is when they place their own interests above the couple’s.

Dating is more of a crap shoot because now the only one vetting is you, and emotion can (and often does) cloud your judgment. The idea behind prolonging the process is that we humans leak information all the time, and so the things you tend to conceal about yourself will eventually be exposed the more time you spend with someone. It takes about 6 months of regular contact with someone before you can be fairly sure you know about their major personality traits, and so it makes for a pretty good rule of thumb. If the “spark is lost” over time, then it’s indicative of other problems (usually unmet needs) that would not have been solved by rushing into the relationship.

That’s not to say that “weekends only” is the only way to do it. If you want to live together for weeks at a time, by all means go for it. But moving in together (as in one side disposes of their abode and moves in with the other) complicates things significantly should one or both parties decide that it isn’t working out. Yes, in our case we hit it off, and moving in together so soon worked out, but going by probabilities, this is a very risky strategy.

As for the issues we had, those are private matters that have since been resolved, and I won’t discuss them publicly.

The perfect gift

I love my birthday present, Dovey <3

What was your 1st 24/7 d/s relationship like? What rules did or do you have set for them? How long did it take you to establish that kind of bond before you moved in together?

This is my first 24/7 d/s relationship. The primary rule is, and always has been, her obedience.

She may question if she doesn’t understand or has a differing opinion, and in such a case we will discuss it, but once my decision is made, she obeys no matter what it is. On my part, I have pledged that I will give ample warning of changes I’m making (during which time she can have her say), and I won’t punish for things she couldn’t have known. I believe that this is the best holistic approach to take, because the whole point of this kind of relationship is to REDUCE chaos overall, not cause it. She needs rules and routines to be consistent, and consistently enforced.

This structure allows all other rules to be brought into play, from how I like my tea in the morning, to how we’re approaching her drug addiction, to her cunt being available to me any time, to how the house is kept, to her chains being on 24/7, to her asking me any time she wants to have a cigarette. The rules and routines flow naturally from us living together as I identify and implement ways to keep the ship running smoothly. I am the captain, and she is my first mate. Her job is to support me and implement my wishes in public, and to express her concerns and work out differences in private.

One thing I’ve discovered about her that I really like is her inquisitiveness. She is constantly asking why I like certain things or decide certain things, not to criticize them, but to better understand how I think. That speaks volumes to her character, and tells me that she’s serious about knowing and serving my needs completely.

As for establishing a bond before moving in together, that’s a little more complicated. TBH we both took a HUGE chance on this because of the distance and the fact that her life was falling apart in front of her. I certainly wouldn’t advise going as fast as we did, because it very easily could have, and almost did blow up in our faces. Normally, you start off meeting a bunch of times, getting to know each other, spending nights and weekends together for months before even considering such a move. Ours was the crash course in the other’s personality, compressed into a couple of months, all while swimming in constant chaos. Not an advisable thing to do.

When you first started out as a dominant did you go through training? And when would you say is the time in your life when you reached your full potential as a person and a dominant?

I’ve had a dominant personality since birth. I’ve taken advice from people I respected throughout my life, but I’ve never met any dominants (bdsm sense of the word) that I respected enough to accept training from.

I haven’t reached my full potential as a person or as a dominant, and I won’t any time soon.

Is it easy to get fresh quality seafood in East Germany? If you end up moving from the rented apartment, would it be easy to sell the appliances and furniture you won't need anymore? Has the Internet gotten better? Are winter condition the same as in Canada, worse or better? How is your German now and have you considered Babbel?

There’s hardly any seafood in the East, and I wouldn’t trust what’s there.

The appliances and such we got were very cheap, so even if I have to just leave them behind, I won’t mind.

We now have broadband internet. It *only* took a month for them to install it.

Winter conditions here are similar to Vancouver or Seattle, except without the constant rain.

My German is slowly improving. It’s a slog.

Permanence.

Cowgirl :)

keptmathilda:

Dude…. really?! Why did you ask if you don’t plan to respect my answer?!

I said it already on my blog, but once again, for those of you who need to be told the same things three times in order to understand them:

1) I don’t mind talking to you, Dom or Sub, about BDSM related or other things, via PM in general. My Master is fine with that too. But I don’t flirt, talk dirty, send pictures of me or want pictures of you, I don’t respond to play offers and I don’t talk privately with other Doms about intimate things. That’s a matter of respect towards my Master and also am I just not interested in these kinds of conversations. If you need advice, have a question about something that’s not too intimate or just need someone to talk to, go ahead. But respect my Master’s ownership over me and our relationship.

2) In an Ask, anon or not, you can ask me anything. If something is too private, I just don’t answer it, but try your luck. I don’t mind answering Asks of a sexual nature in general.

3) I didn’t think it would be necessary to mention that but obviously it is: If you ask me if something is okay for me, respect it if I say it’s not! This should be a matter of course?! If you are not sure if a particular question via PM is okay for me just be open about it and ask if it’s okay for me to say/answer something about subject xy. That’s fine. But if I tell you I’m not okay with that, have the decency to respect it.

Thanks for your attention.

She is inferior to me.

She is NOT inferior to you. She is not obligated to you. She owes nothing to you.

You will respect her authoritah!

If your master didn't agree for you to be out on your own, at all, would that be a deal killer?

keptmathilda:

I wouldn’t be happy about that, it would bother me, because sometimes just doing a walk for an hour, being completely alone, having my music on full volume on my headphones, walking around without a destination, just putting one feet in front of the other without thinking, is something very relaxing for me. I would hate it not to be allowed to do that anymore.

But no - no ‘dealbreaker’ anyway.

I’m my Master’s property, I deliberately chose to give Him control over all aspects of my life, I gave up my freedom to make my own decisions in exchange for being free from responsibility for the consequences of decisions. He is the one to decide over me and that includes what I do and where I am. If He would decide not to allow me to go out alone at all anymore, that would be His right to do.

A power exchange like we live it is not something you can switch on and off according to what’s convenient at the moment and what’s not. This kind of decision would be VERY inconvenient for me, even much more than just that, but it would of course be one I would respect and obey, like all of His decisions. That’s how our dynamic works. I expect Him to hold up His end of the bargain - ie provide me with a loving, caring, stable environment I can live in without fear/anxiety about anything and feeling protected and loved and cared for so that I can focus completely on serving Him and nothing else, and to respect my ‘authority’ in the areas where I have authority, namely setting my hard limits and safewording - so He can expect the same from me, that I respect His authority in the areas He has authority, namely everything else. Whether I like it or not how He uses it in a certain situation or regarding a certain matter is irrelevant. I would never undermine His authority because I don’t like what He does with it.


Nothing He could order or forbid me to do, no matter how much I would hate it, would be a ‘dealbreaker’ for me, would cost Him my respect, love, worship, loyalty or obedience. He can decide whatever the fuck He wants about me because He owns me. And we are both perfectly happy with this arrangement. I’m human property, owned and kept by a loving, responsible Master, with no rights to make decisions for myself and that’s exactly what I want and need. I wouldn’t want to have it any other way.

We decided from the start that this can only be 100%.

She is my property, in every way. I own her like I would own a pet; it gives me power and responsibility. Do I have to respect that responsibility? No, I don’t. But I will, because I’m not that kind of person.

Machines never tire.

Where are you at with finishing to furnish your apartment? Any areas yet that are complete?

It’s still sitting at halfway. There’s something coming up next week that will affect where we will be living going forward, and I’m not going to commit to things that we can’t take with us until then.

Such a beautiful, peaceful day outside!

I actually think it's so cool to be fucked while asleep. I am completely submissive in bed and would prefer it this way.

keptmathilda:

Reference

Well, I think it’s not possible to stay asleep the whole time during sex; too much movement and stimulation, you just wake up once you feel something inside you (except maybe on drugs/some sorts of pills, but I mean normally) and don’t really fall asleep again while getting fucked.

But I’m definitely less enough of a morning person, that more often than not I’m only half-awake during our morning-sex. You know, this time right after waking up, when you are mostly aware already of what’s going on around you but you’re not fully awake yet, you’re limbs are still heavy and your mind clouded, this state, that normally lasts a minute, or five… for me this state lasts up to half an hour, I just need time to boot my brain.

So when He fucks me in the morning right after waking up (/wakes me up by this) I’m as passive as I can possibly be, and I like that, we both like it. I like it just to get used by Him, without having to do anything, only feeling Him, serving Him, and nothing else. And He likes it to just use my body for His own pleasure without consideration of me in this moment.

Perfect match (:

I think many submissive like it to be (sexually) used like this, that’s not uncommon and totally fine. Just find someone who likes to use and both are happy.

keptmathilda:

yeah-thats-not-it:

Girls make the cutest whines when they want you to fuck them 

So I was told too, just yesterday, that I would sound ‘cute’ when horny and begging Him to fuck me. - *Grml* Only a sadist can find desperate whining cute… and then make an effort to generate even more ‘cute’ desperate whining. This way to express His sadism is worse than the whip! Having the hottest guy on earth, your Master, lying next to you, playing with your body, enough to make you horny but not more and You want nothing more than feeling Him inside you while He is just watching His movie, not allowing you to touch Him, or yourself, and smirking over your desperate moaning. This is real torture!!

This is super fun to do :)

Slowly taking away her ability to move… Cuffing her hands so she can’t touch me, then locking her feet so she can’t hump my leg, then gagging her so she can only whine and drool, then playing with her body so that she gets even MORE horny, hearing those plaintive moans while I casually play with her nipples as I watch a movie (Tremors, although I doubt she remembers much of it).

She’s mine, and her body is my toy. And I like to remind her of that fact.

Lovely Dovey

does he leave you enough leftovers?

keptmathilda:

Reference

I don’t have to starve / I always get enough to eat, if that’s what you mean.

He eats (first, while I wait at His feet until He is finished) as much as He wants, so until He is not hungry anymore, and then puts His plate with what is left on the ground for me to have my meal (last picture). Normally that’s enough for me, but if I’m still hungry I can get more of course.

It is very important for Him that I eat healthy and that includes quantity as well as quality. He would make sure, that I don’t eat too much if I would do that (which I don’t) as well as He makes sure that I don’t eat too little, that I get the amount of nutrients my body needs and that I don’t feel hungry constantly.

I can eat as much as I need.

And btw… ‘Leftovers’ sounds as if I would eat what He leaves over because it’s something wrong with it, burnt or so. To make it clear: I eat exactly the same He eats, I get a ‘normal meal’, we just share the meal / eat from the same plate, He first on a table, me last on the floor, but the food (quality) is the same.

When you’re on the right kind of diet, your sense of taste and hunger work in unison to tell you exactly how much food you need. It’s only when you consume artificial flavorings or artificial sweeteners that it gets out of whack (taste buds telling you one thing, stomach telling you another). So on my diet, you eat whenever you’re hungry, until you’re not hungry anymore. We’ve had a few million years to evolve this “trick”, and it works great so long as you’re eating whole foods.

May I ask what the point is of cooking sous vide? I know it's supposed to cook the meat evenly but since you then fry it up a bit to brown the edges anyway it seems redundant

There are two things you want when cooking meat:

1. Uniform cooking throughout.

2. a browned exterior (the Maillard reaction).

The Maillard reaction is what gives the meat all the tasty extra flavorings (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maillard_reaction)

The sous vide cooker does #1 perfectly, and #2 not at all. So the optimal approach is to cook it sous vide first to whatever level you prefer, and then sear the edges for 30s to one minute on each side (until you see the telltale browning). Browning after sous vide can be done with a skillet on high, or with a blow torch. A blow torch gives you more accurate control but is trickier to do.

I'm so grateful for your insistent points in vetting that initial heavy kink talk=red flag. I was ignorant & wouldve taken the absence of a focus on kink as a lack of interest/desire. I've been dating a guy a bit who admits being a Dom but softs the topic for now ("I need rules and structure in my relationships- actually, dynamics are a future talk, how is your morning going?") & any kink talk I hint at "Yes, that is hot. Anyway. What are you doing for dinner tonight?". This one seems promising!

keptmathilda:

cherished-property:

instructor144:

Yes! That right there? That is a guy with promise! You try to “go there,” and he pushes you right back into the structural/routine/important stuff. I can’t emphasize it enough: “What are you doing for dinner tonight?” (with the implication that it better be healthy or you’ll risk his disappointment) is 1000% more “Domly” than “Hey baby, show me your tits.” Trust me, the desire is there, but he is doing it the way a proper Dom should: important things first.

Good luck!

Every single good Dom I’ve had has started with super vanilla talk. No kinks. Just connection and philosophy of D/s and getting to know each other on a human level. Ordinary to the point where I wonder if they are too tame for me…until they get me in a room. And let me tell you, the moment that switch flips is HOT. Holy fuck. BUT it’s only hot because all the conversation happened first. It’s hot because we already know each other and have a foundation of trust. So when I find myself being given a home tour, dragged around by my hair, while he tells me how he likes to hurt girls in this room or that…when I am pinned to the wall by my throat and being ordered to undress…I can let go and enjoy what happens. I can surrender because he took the time to really learn me and help me learn him, and he showed absolute respect for boundaries.

Want to capture my attention in a message? Talk to me about something I’ve written or something in my profile. Tell me about your life or hobbies or passions. The ordinary-seeming messages? Those are the ones that get it. Those are the ones that know how to build something real.

Same here.

Every D/s relationship, literally every single one, I had (that was not abusive) started with advice and conversations of a non-sexual nature. And every ‘Dom’ I ever met who wanted to know my kinks and limits before asking about the important things like my past and future goals or, BDSM related, what I expect from a relationship/Master, what Ds means to me, turned out to be someone I would not want to give control over myself to.

This is a very important aspect in the ‘vetting’ process. Men who start on a sexual level rather than a personal have most likely not the attributes that make a good and responsible Dom.

I can’t emphasize this enough.

And the best part is, you can’t fake this. So even if a bad dom reads this advice, they’re still incapable of doing it. They’ll STILL start out all sex and kink. When your hormones start flowing, you become emotional and the strongest parts of your personality take over. Only a psychopath is capable of compartmentalizing enough to keep such fakery going for any length of time.

When he keeps harping on things related to your well being, it means that your well being is part of what fulfills him, which means that he doesn’t even have to think about doing it; it just happens automatically.

Should I tell everyone where I live so rapists and human traffickers can get me?

It would be better for you to be honest with yourself and get in tune with your actual needs. Next, take steps to find someone who will naturally satisfy those needs, and whose needs you will naturally satisfy. Only then will you have the hope of a fulfilling relationship.

Needs can be suppressed for awhile, but they’ll never go away, and they’ll never stop nagging at you. Fantasizing will quench for awhile, but it’s a stopgap measure, not a solution. Far better to embrace your true needs and be fulfilled.

Chicken and Rice dish: could you please re-post it?

It was actually with quinoa, but you can do it with rice. Or better yet wild rice, which isn’t actually rice (Oryza sativa). Rice is so carb heavy that you need a shitload of fiber to counteract it.

Ingredients (per serving):

Cook the chicken any way you like (I use a sous vide cooker and then brown the edges in a skillet). Time it so that the chicken is ready at the same time as the sauce (sauce takes about 20 minutes with slow cooker made onions, 40 or so browning them from scratch).

Cook your side dish however you like, timing to be ready with the chicken and sauce.


Note: You can do steps 1 and 2 of the sauce and then let it rest, heating it up again for step 3 once the other stuff is ready. Step 3 only takes 5 minutes.

Pour the sauce over the chicken and quinoa and enjoy!


Sauce:

Step 1:

Carmelize the onions. There are two ways to do this:

In the skillet: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x66lsNKFRWs

In the slow cooker: cut up the onions, put in slow cooker, cook on low for 8-10 hours, drain the juices and save separately, freeze them and take out when you need to cook. When I do the slow cooker method, I put in about 15 onions, let it cook overnight, and then bag up portions for the freezer. A mandolin is a HUGE help in cutting up the onions, btw!

Note: If you’ve used the slow cooker method, it’s good when actually preparing your meal to fry them up a little bit in the pan on medium-high to reduce them (dry them out) and get a little searing (dark brown) on the edges for extra flavor. This takes FAR less time than carmelizing from scratch!

Step 2:

Mix the bouillon with the water. Pour it (and wine if you want) in with the onions and reduce on medium (let it bubble and evaporate until it’s thick like gravy, stirring occasionally so it doesn’t burn on the bottom of the pan).

Step 3:

Mix the egg yolk with the lemon juice. Reduce the pan to low-medium heat and mix in the yolk + lemon juice, stirring constantly so that it doesn’t clump. Stir until it thickens, then remove from the heat.

wow, there are some unhappy people in this world, the question about you being dovey’s lesser choice was absurd. Keep enjoying your mutual adventure. Have you cooked her your chicken and rice meal that you once posted?

She’s vegetarian, so no I haven’t ;-)

All comfy in her little bed!

keptmathilda:

Morning scenes

Me *sleeping*

Sir *squeezing my nipples, rubbing His dick against my legs*

Me *waking up 2%*

Sir *squeezing and rubbing harder*

Me, murmuring, still 98% asleep: “Imstillsleepn…notevnawakeyet.” (I know, I know, not very ‘submissive’ *g* but, to defend myself, I was really still more than half asleep yet)

Sir: “That’s fine. I am. That’s enough.” (♡♡♡! I loved this answer.)

Me: “Mhmkay…” *falling back asleep again*

Sir: *waking me up again* “Let’s work on your deepthroating skills.”

_______________________

Hahaha….

I mean, that He is awake being enough for morning sex in general, sure*, but as if ANYBODY could continue sleeping during a deepthroat!? Sorry, but no, I’m not this good, that’s something I have to be awake and focussed for (which I then happily was of course). But well, thank You, I guess, that You would have let me sleep longer if I just would have been able to. Very considerate! :* lol

I mean this in an absolute positive way. I like it that You don’t let me get away with my sleepiness, Sir, and I like it to serve You at any time of the day, even a minute after waking up (or before waking up) and even before coffee. That’s how much I love You! 😸🖤

______________________

*and before somebody starts the ‘you can’t give consent when asleep discussion’: He has my explicit consent to fuck me in -any- condition and is a responsible enough character to not abuse this in any damaging/irresponsible way.

keptmathilda:

@keepingher

keptmathilda:

(I rarely post this visually very explicit kind of porn, but when it’s about licking I have to make an exception. Licking is an exception. Licking is one of the best things on earth.)

About Licking

I just love it to lick on my Master. SO much!

There are different kinds of licking for me:

1.) The autistic obsessive lick: Sometimes I have this very strong urge to lick on Him if His skin happens to be close to my face/mouth. It’s like a force I can’t fight, when it strikes me I can’t help it, I have to give in to it and just do it, lick on Him. It would make me mad if I couldn’t do it, it feels like it must feel for someone with OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) who can’t do whatever their obsession is, it’s horrible, I NEED to do it in this situation. // This was horror for me during the first two weeks after He came to Germany. We were lying in bed together every night, my head on His shoulder, my mouth only a centimeter away from His skin, but I had to fight against this urge. We only met once before, we were just together for a few hours/days and I didn’t want to appear completely crazy to Him right from day one. I thought it would be extremely weird to suddenly just start licking on Him, on someone I didn’t know very well yet, in person at least, so I fought it. That was SO hard.

2.) The bonding and calming lick: Licking His skin is something that makes me feel close to Him, it’s kind of a bonding ritual, maybe a little like this grooming primate’s do with each other or when a pet licks His owners face or hands to show affection. Also it calms my mind, I find it extremely relaxing. Sometimes I lick the same spot on His body for minutes just because it is sooo soothing for me. Yea, I know I’m weird ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

3.) The sexual/blowjob lick. That’s the one on the gif above. It’s the only sexual kind of lick, the other two are completely asexual for me. But I like this one not less than the others, I absolutely love it to lick on His dick, to feel Him in my mouth. I’m definitely the ‘oral kind’ of girl. I could spend the whole evening with Him in my mouth, even without doing anything, just to feel Him be there. ‘Cock warmer’, as it is (pejoratively) called sometimes, is in no way a humiliating thing/function of mine for me, I enjoy feeling Him like this, having Him in my mouth, in every situation and context. But this doesn’t only work with me being passive, fellatio is the only kind of sex I actually like to be active. Not more or less than being passive, I like both equally. I like it to have my mouth/throat used just like any other hole, I like deepthroating, I like to have my mouth or throat treated just like a hole, a thing, to make Him orgasm unload His cum in, I like to be passive and treated like a toy, but, in contrast to any other hole, I also like it to have Him just relax and let me do the work because, well, I just love to lick on Him and licking is an activity, it implies being active. Not that a blowjob would be nothing but licking, of course I like all others aspects of it too (but licking is the best (: ).

Maybe that was a weird post, but it was necessary, it was overdue and I enjoyed writing it. This post just belongs here, on my blog, because licking is such an important, wonderful, intimate thing for me, no matter how strange that sounds. I just LOVE licking on my Master! 😸

I love licking on You, Sir! @keepingher - Your body and skin and dick are absolutely perfect to lick on, so warm and soft and tasty 😻 🖤….. Okay I stop here before I begin to appear too weird *g

Such a good girl!

Good girls get rewarded.

Secure.

Apologies, for I have searched for quite some times, and only managed to find every ask besides the one I was intending to find. Unless the question was asked, I was wondering about the history of dovey's scars on her arm? Also, if she trusts you more and formed a stronger bond with you because you have helped with her arm staying the way it is instead of receiving more scars?

It’s similar to the histories of most submissives who cut: The more out of control she feels, the greater the drive to cut. I’ve known 60+ year old submissives who admit to cutting (albeit very discreetly).

The bond of trust doesn’t really have anything directly to do with her arm. Cutting is a symptom, and so helping with the root causes is what forms and strengthens that bond.

If you were in touch with Meatball would Dovey care or is she not the jealous type? Secondly, do you think him keeping her isolated is something she wants and enjoys? I love when men do that. Are you like it too?

No, Dovey wouldn’t get jealous over that. I don’t think Meatball enjoys isolation. She was stressed and freaked out when she last contacted me. I will isolate when I think it’s appropriate, but rarely is it appropriate to isolate from family.

Semantics

Dovey: *trips over her chains while walking*

Me: *laughs*

Dovey: Don’t laugh at me!

Me: I can’t help it. You’re so cute! I like it when you suffer.

Me: Isn’t there a German word for enjoying the suffering of others? Schadenfreude…

Dovey: It’s not the same. That’s a very negative thing. Taking pleasure in the suffering of others.

Me: *smirks*

Dovey: You know what I mean!

Are you still providing free consulting to subs? Are you still in touch with Meatball and other ex subs?

I’ll give advice to people who ask. Meatball’s new boyfriend keeps her isolated, so I don’t know what’s going on with her. Other subs I’ve fallen out of touch with over the years.

Evolution.

Go to the bathroom any time you like, honey.

Do you ever take your girl on short weekend getaways to romantic places like Baden-Baden? Maybe for Valentine's Day?

I’ve chained her to the bed for short weekends. Does that count?

keptmathilda:

keptmathilda:

Yes, please! Sounds perfect *melts*

And that’s exactly what I got this morning 😻

______________

Guten Morgen, Tumblr! // Good morning, Tumblr!

:)

Yup, it was under the belt. I said I was sorry. The truth sometimes hurts, but it's always better than the most beautiful lie.

No, it was not under the belt. That would require attacking an actually sensitive area.

No, you didn’t apologize, nor would I accept it, because you still don’t get it (or you’re just a troll).

No, you’re not even speaking the truth, so there’s no truth to hurt with.

You’re sitting in the dark like a coward, taking pot shots at the more visible people. This is as much time as I’ll give to such fruitless endeavors.