March 2018

Aww, give me a smile, girl. Show me how glad you are to be my favorite toy!

If you’re gonna keep acting like a whiny bitch, I’ll just go upstairs.

Patience.

You’re so cute when you scream <3

I like it when she’s open.

Let’s have a little fun down here now :)

This is forever, honey.

Come!

You’re so pretty when you smile for me :)

See how much fun these are?

Aren’t you glad your body comes with so many built-in toys for me?

I give security and belonging. I expect gratitude and service.

See how easy it is to reach any part of you I want?

I make you feel like a natural woman.

Destiny.

It’s not making her suffer that I like.

It’s making her suffer for ME that I like.

Making her beg to serve as my toy of suffering.

Watching her, knowing she’s helpless, knowing I’ll continue until I’m satisfied.

Hearing her thank me for using her after I’m done.

Because I can.

Lemon squeezy.

Heh… you’re such a fun little thing…

is there a way to make my arousals automatically unpleasant or painful? You know, like those devices for men, or in a non-physical way?

When a man gets aroused, his dick grows, so it’s a matter of encasing it such that it becomes unpleasant. When a woman gets aroused, her nipples may grow a bit, and perhaps her clit may harden a bit, but that’s much more difficult to build something around.

On the other hand, a sexually frustrated woman will tend to hump against things, which you could prevent by - hmm - mounting something with a sharp enough edge into a chastity belt that pushing against it becomes painful, maybe?

Obviously you can and should prevent a slave from orgasms if the master wishes. But how can the master prevent her from arousals, or force her refrain from those?

You cannot prevent arousal. It’s an automatic thing. You could keep them to a minimum by minimizing exposure to arousing situations.

... well, i am not a slave, but my dom always says i seem to loose some part of my sex eagerness if he does not fuck me at least once a week, which seems true to me... so i wonder what others - and real slaves - make for expericences?

There are some whose desire keeps growing the longer they are denied sexual release. Whether you’re a slave or not doesn’t really factor into it.

And by which means do you make her hlepless apart from physical restraints?

Helplessness means that she’d be unable to do something even if she wanted to, so it would be things like physical restraints, removing things that allow her to do something (for example, taking away her bank card). What I do to make her helpless depends on what I’m trying to achieve. I’ve had do take away many aspects of her agency during detox because a brain on detox can’t be trusted to be rational.

Does the slave become less needy when denied orgasms for a certain time?

I don’t think the two are connected.

Ever thought about rigid cuffs and shackles instead of chains for her, at least for a certain amount of time to give her better feelings of being protected cared and secured?

I only brought a subset of my toys with me to Germany. When we’re in Canada I’ll have a lot more to choose from, including some rigid pieces.

When she doesn'T or can't work out: Is a certain weakness or helplessness of your slave appealing to you? Arousing?

I don’t need her to be physically weak, nor does it make sense health-wise to prevent her workouts. When I want her to be helpless there are plenty of ways to accomplish it.

Is she having a nice cage? Is she made to use it a lot?

I have a very nice cage in Canada. I’ll make use of it when we’re there in a month.

I've been living with my dom for a year now. We work together too (met in the church, we are both very religious, considering marriage, and he is 30 years my senior but still works as a chiropractor-I am his receptionist/medical secretary). My fiance doesn't like me talking to men (I am attractive) and think of retiring. He wants me to depend on him entirely. He suggested that we use wheel chair (I don't need one) so I depend on him for movement. Is this a good idea? I'm so crazy about him...

keptmathilda:

You maybe don’t like to hear this, but you asked for my opinion and I feel obligated to be honest and blunt rather than sugarcoating the (in my opinion) truth…

No, what he is planning there for your relationship - retirement, putting you in a wheelchair etc in order to prevent you from interacting with other people/men - ist most certainly NOT ‘a good idea’!

Because:

This is control freak behavior. Which is for itself not necessarily a bad thing if it matches the partner’s needs, my Master is a control freak too and I like being controlled. But there are two kinds of control freaks:

1.) Control freak by character. He has a strong need for control because he is a leader, an ‘alpha person’, a disciplined mind, a fan of order, a ‘organizer’, a ‘planner’ by character (not all people with this character are control freaks but all control freaks of this kind have these traits). He has little tolerance for bullshit and no tolerance for anarchy, that’s why he needs to be in charge, because it’s the only way to ensure that there is no bullshit and anarchy. Chaos disturbs his inner harmony extremely, he needs things to be organized in order to be happy. He just IS like that, it’s how he works, it’s his deepest need.

2.) Control freak out of insecurity. He is most likely *not* a leader by character, he lacks confidence, he has self-worth problems and needs to compensate for this by controlfreakery. He is afraid that things he doesn’t control run away from him or get lost somehow because he doesn’t feel like having the natural degree of attractiveness, of ‘cohesion’, to keep someone or something with him in his life.

In a context of a Ds Dynamic this means: For the character control freak doing all these nice BDSM kind of things like restraining, making you ask permission, make decisions for you etc are *tools*. He doesn’t restrain you to restrain you, because he is afraid you run away otherwise, but he restrains you for a hundred other reasons, to show you he owns you, to help you calm down, to get turned on by it and so on. The insecure control freak restrains you to disable you to run away, he makes decisions for you to disable you to decide something against him. The first kind ENables you by control, the second kind DISables you by control.

My Master for example is a pretty extreme control freak I would say. His ideal is to control virtually everything about me, after only 12 weeks or so of being together He started to keep me in chains almost 24/7 for example. But He is not in the slightest a jealous person, He is in no way insecure about His role in my life, He trusts me completely and implicitly in every possible way, He is absolutely sure about my love for and loyalty to Him. I can chat with whomever I want, Dom and Sub, male and female. He has no problem with me going out on my own. I didn’t make any friends yet here after moving to a new city but if I had, He would never forbid me to spend time with them, alone if I needed it. I have an Ex-Dom who is still in love with me and trying to get me back and my Master has no trouble or bad feelings about letting me talk to him, in private, to finally shut this behavior down. He *knows* I’m all His, He knows I love Him and only Him, He knows I’m endlessly loyal to Him, He knows that He owns me. And you know what, this feeling of security He radiates is so much sexier and feels so much better than jealous clinging ever could. 

Jealous clinging is not a compliment, it’s an accusation! Putting you in a wheelchair *in order to prevent you from running away or talking to someone* is not BDSM, not ownership, it’s a manifestation of insecurity and distrust. And it won’t fulfill your submissive needs. You may like to be restrained, but why do you like that? Because it makes you feel owned and safe and calms your mind. If you’re restrained out of jealousy, you won’t feel that, you only feel restricted without these positive effects. Getting controlled out of your Dom’s insecurity will make you feel like a prisoner, and I don’t mean the sexy kind.

Your relationship issues have nothing to do with Ds, but you have a general trust issue. This you have to solve first before engaging or going further in any kind of Ds Dynamic because Ds without the foundation of trust and confidence and faith in each other will only lead to suffering.

100% this.

Your purpose is to bring me pleasure.

By whatever means I choose.

In what ways can your dom own you "even more"? I understand this is a need of his but what could he possibly do "more"? The only next "stage" available is making you his prisoner or deleting organs from your body (watch Boxing Helena). The latter is very extreme but you must know what they did to slaves feet so they cannot leave. Do you ever ask him in which ways he wants to have more control over you? Maybe his intention is to cause complete incontinence so he controls your BM?

keptmathilda:

Reference 1 (current status) // Reference 2 (future goals)

No, His intention and desire/need is not to ‘cause complete incontinence’ or to ‘remove organs from my body’ (and also would that not be ‘the next stage’, not even close to where we are now, see Reference 1). His top priority and need, like mine, is to have the both of us healthy and happy. That’s the frame in which everything He does and we do happens. / And yes, we talk about absolutely everything, I ask and He answers questions all the time, we communicate constantly about our relationship, Dynamic, past, present and future. There’s literally nothing we don’t talk about.

There are so many more things (within this frame) He can do to take more control, to use more power over me (not all of these are things I would like and not all of these are things He would do, it’s just examples): He could make me ask permission for more things, even for virtually everything, right now it’s only smoking and masturbating/orgasm, He could keep me more restrained than now like in a cage more often or chained to the bed at night, to the floor at day, He could establish more rules, more severe punishments, He could forbid me to speak unless spoken to, establish stricter protocols for our interactions and my behavior in general, He could do all kinds of conditioning with me, He could hypnotize me, He could make me sleep on the floor or in a cage instead in the bed, He could keep me in a cell in His basement, He could deprive my senses for certain times or all the time like wearing a blindfold or blackout lenses so I would be more helpless ~ He has more control/power, He could make me crawl/kneel instead of walk/stand when we’re in the same room so that I’m always (far) below Him, He could make me suffer more physical pain, He could share me/make me serve other men, or women, or allow others to torture me, He could deny me to have an orgasm for a longer period of time, or even forever, He could restrict what I’m eating, He could forbid me to use the bathroom, He could forbid me to touch Him, look at Him, talk to Him, He could humiliate me more, He could make me take a job to contribute to our bank balance, He could have me get piercings to extend His means of restraint and torture, He could mark me as His property by a tattoo or branding ….. And literally a thousand other things.

No offence but you suffer from a severe lack of imagination and creativity (and a weird, pretty unhealthy concept of control/TPE). He doesn’t (:

Everything in its time. There is always a level deeper, physical or mental or both.

There are also her fears and vulnerabilities and hangups and all the little things she instinctively hides. I’ll gradually, inevitably, make her surrender those as well.

Know your place.

Is there a way to make her have a daily workout like thing without her loosing the feel of proper restrictionness during it?

keptmathilda:

I assume (“her”) this Ask was meant for @keepingher.

Muscle toning exercises don’t require a lot of movement, so for these it’s just a matter of installing her correctly.

I prefer body weight exercises to machines, which makes it even easier. Push ups, sit ups, leg raises, core exercises can all be done with her neck chained to the wall and non-essential limbs locked.

Muscle cramping and atrophy are things to be on the lookout for, especially if you’ve been confining her to very small spaces.

To counter this, it will be necessary to take her out from time to time for movement exercise. Fortunately, you can kill two birds with one stone in this case.

While this is great, don’t neglect her cardio workout! It not only promotes a good immune system so she doesn’t get sick, but also promotes good blood circulation for when she’s locked in difficult positions.

The ways you can structure this are really only limited by your imagination and creativity.

You need at least 20 minutes of sustained elevated heart rate for it to be effective. That said, technically you only really need to do it once or twice a week. For other days you can just do regular walking, which also allows her legs to remain restricted.

You must be careful about her ankles chafing. Seriously, this is a real, crippling problem! One approach is to use protective footwear.

It’s also helpful to train her in how to walk so as not to injure herself. This requires a lot of practice!

For fans of technology, there is a lot to be said for TENS electrical impulses to spur the muscles into motion.

And really, when it comes down to it, all you have to do is think about the kind of motion you want to encourage, and then come up with ways to encourage it!

Remember: A healthy slave is a happy slave! Take an interest in her health, and show how much you care.

My pretty little toy is so much fun!

When would you say is a time when you should or need to break it off with a submissive?

I’ll do one better: When is the right time to break off ANY kind of relationship (romantic, sexual, platonic, business, friendship, etc)?

The right time to break it off is when it’s become clear that they don’t respect you.

But what does that mean? After all, “respect” is a tricky word with many nuanced meanings. There’s the “I fear you” kind of respect, where they’re careful not to cross you for fear of the consequences you’ll mete out. There’s the “I worship you” kind of respect, where they idolize you and heap praise upon you and live vicariously through you. Those have their place, but they’re superficial, and not the kinds of respect I’m talking about:


When you truly respect someone, you’ll step in to make a positive difference in their life. You’ll encourage them to better themselves. You’ll be their ally when they’re under siege. You’ll make them feel that they’re being heard, and that their contributions and efforts are making a positive difference.


Respect is when your goal is to build a sum that’s greater than its parts, rather than to look for what you can extract for yourself.

See how well I take care of you? Now you don’t have to worry about saying the wrong thing <3

keptmathilda:

I was talking about this with Him the day before yesterday. That I want to be perfect for Him, but I can’t. I want to be the best slave He can possibly have, but I’m not. And He said that He doesn’t need me to be perfect, He just needs me to be me, because that’s exactly whom He loves.

Isn’t HE perfect?! Oh my… what made me deserve a man like this… I must have been Stauffenberg (the (only) German who tried to kill Hitler, almost succeeded/only failed by chance, and got executed, incl his family, for the attempt) or so in my former life. It definitely can’t be anything I did during this one…

Psst! I’ll let you in on my dirty little secret! You don’t actually need to be perfect; you just need to fake it really really well!

See? I told you it would be fun!

MINE

I like girls who are useful.

keptmathilda:

Exposed. Please Take Me. Make Me. Us.

My pain, my pleasure, my submission, my screams, my breath, my sight, my speech, my victories,  my failures, my assets, my freedom, my time, my past present and future, my body, my sex, my holes, my heart, my senses, my mind, my words, my questions, my fears, my existence, my wants and needs, my orgasms, my arousal, my passion, my addictions, my obsessions, my greed, my privileges and rights, my ideas, my energy, my anticipation, my visions, my traumata, my sufferings, my depression, my flashbacks, my hopes, my desperation, my pleas, my strength, my reality, my normality, my craziness, my beliefs, my pride, my choice, my limitations, my limits, my will, my surrender, my fight, my defeat, my shame, my identity, my name, my humiliation, my innocence, my sins, my hubris, my superiority, my equality, my inferiority, my nothingness, my dignity, my lust, my insecurity, my denial, my thoughts, my feelings, my flesh, my torment, my torture, my cries for help, my begging to stop, my obedience, my understanding, my imagination, my nightmares, my dreams, my wondering, my focus, my distractions, my doubts, my helplessness, my tears, my love, my world, my life, my everything, my self, me.

Take it. Use it. Rip it apart and put me back together. It’s all Yours. Master. - No borders left between us. We’re One.

______________

A loveletter to my beloved @keepingher

keptmathilda:

New Title *yay

My Master decided I shouldn’t call Him ‘Sir’ anymore but from now on address Him with ‘Master’. So 'Yes, Sir’ becomes 'Yes, Master’ etc…

That makes me happy. Even though Sir is common and certainly an expression of respect, I never felt completely comfortable with it, for two reasons: 1) Sir is a title that’s even used between strangers. Every younger person with good manners addresses an older person with Sir, that’s nothing special. 2) Every other Submissive here on Tumblr calls Him Sir in Asks or Messages as if she would be entitled to address Him with a title. I always found that to be an effrontery, since He’s a stranger to them and obviously in a relationship. To be A Dominant doesn’t mean to be YOUR Dominant. Submissives react allergical to Doms who dare to call them 'slave’ or 'babygirl’ or whatever and say 'I’m A submissive and not YOUR submissive’ but when subs do it with, especially taken, Doms it’s suddenly okay?! It is not! - I always hated it that strangers called Him Sir, as I call Him Sir. To use His title should be a privilege of mine as His slave.

Now it finally is *happy*

Thank You, Master, for finally allowing me the privilege to address You with this title. I love You, Master 🖤

_________________

PS: In case my lovely haters want to try to annoy me now by sending Him Asks calling Him Master: He won’t answer Asks in this fashion as a matter of principle, so spare your time.

Yes. “Sir” is generally a safe appellation for a dominant you’re not familiar with. Other titles run the danger of assuming too much familiarity. I most definitely would consider “master” the height of bad manners.

They’re not yours anymore. You own nothing.

You don’t decide anymore; I do.

Your place of honor: beneath me.

Good girls need control.

Sweet dreams.

Why don’t you enjoy hitting her in the face? If you don’t mind my asking a few questions I’d like to ask 👍🏼 1) what are the most cruelest names you’ve called her? Are you verbally abusive when she messes up 2) when she makes mistakes how do you punish her or make her learn?

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Continued Questions TB answered 3) do you think men who speak abusively in and out of the bedroom can be good trainers? 4) do most young girls enjoy being beaten? If so what is your reasoning or info behind that, 5) If a sir ignores his Little and mentally feels challenged what do you suggest they do in the relationship? Such as thinking about there Little’s past.

6) is it wrong for a Sir to beat his little everyday of the week and keep her locked inside away from everyone who comes near her into her life a bad thing? thank you for your time, I’d love to here you’re responses to my questions thank you ☺️

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Hitting in the face is not a turn-on for me.

1) I don’t call her names; that’s not really my thing. When she messes up, I call attention to exactly what she messed up, and then apply punishment if necessary.

2) What I do depends on what happened. If it’s a repeating problem, or something egregious, I’ll punish. For other things, I’ll tell her why what she’s done makes me unhappy, and establish a rule if necessary. The point is to train her to use her own judgment in how to serve me best. I want a slave, not a robot.

3) It depends on what his intentions are. If his purpose is to crush her, then he’s not going to have much success training her.

4) I doubt that most young girls enjoy being beaten, but I couldn’t say with certainty as there hasn’t been a study done to my knowledge.

5) I’m not exactly sure what you mean by “mentally feels challenged” but ignoring a little isn’t going to lead to a happy relationship. Every little I’ve known thrives on attention.

6) It depends on the dynamic they share. If it fulfills them both, then there’s no problem. If it stifles, then there’s a problem.

Would you like some support, honey?

Do you hit her in the face often?

No. I’m not into that.

Not really an ask but I’m sad your blog now is mostly just made up of Matilda’s stuff. I like her stuff and all but I follow you for a reason. I like the content you post and it mostly gets covered by all the reblogs of her stuff.

My mind isn’t focused on the blog atm. I have other, higher priority things to deal with.