June 2018

There you go, safe and secure <3

Your purpose.

Because I drank bourbon, that’s why.


A day in the life

Me: I’m horny.

Dovey: Serve yourself.

Me: Works for me! (drags her by the hair)

I hope everyone is ok after that car accident.

Yeah. I’ve never actually been in a traffic incident, so it was all new to me. But my insurance is already pegged to the maximum possible standing, so this won’t affect my premiums.



(I’m not sure where this is coming from but somehow my Master has a thing for giraffes. Isn’t that cute?! 😻)


Show me how grateful you are.


Hallo mathilda.



Holy shit guys check out his profile dick pick!

I mean wow! Did you see that? It’s, like, his dick, man! Wow! Aren’t you impressed?

How kinky was your first night with her?

Super kinky!

First, we stopped by a local bar for some kolch. Then we went to the cathedral to watch the bats hunt, and to admire the restoration effort.


After that, we retired to my hotel room because she was massively drugged out and barely coherent, the trains were no longer running, her phone was dead, she had nowhere to go and was completely at my mercy.

And then…

We cuddled and slept.







When you both know that one night together would change EVERYTHING…

One night together DID change everything for us.

One single night in Cologne, watching bats, drinking beer (me) and wine (him) and falling asleep in each other’s arms, turned both our lives upside down. And I couldn’t be happier about that.

I made a point of meeting her for this one night because I had a feeling that it was important. I even strong armed my family into adjusting our trip to accommodate it.

Their original plan was to visit Cologne before going to Norway, their main destination, but because I couldn’t make it to Cologne during this week because I was ill, He changed their whole schedule so that they came to Cologne on their way back from Norway. For me, a girl He never met personally before, He only knew from Tumblr and WhatsApp chats, and only for a few weeks.

That was such a nice thing to do. Two weeks later when they actually were in Cologne I haven’t recovered and was even feeling worse than before plus the trains didn’t drive during this week, but I had this feeling too, that this is something important, so I suppressed the symptoms as good as possible with a hell of a lot of meds, walked for one and a half hours to the other station and took the bus. When I was finally there it was almost midnight and I was so sedated from all the pills that I couldn’t walk or think or speak straight anymore. But He didn’t mind and managed to make me feel special (to Him) anyway.

If this isn’t the most romantic love story ever…

Thank You for believing in me, Sir 🖤

July 17th, 2017:

Aaaaw. I don’t have this chat anymore. Didn’t see this again after we actually had this conversation. This brings back so many good memories… The best night of my life.

Thank You for waiting for so long, the half night for me. For sitting on this bench with me across the street of Your hotel for one hour in the cold because I was so nervous that I had to smoke one cigarette after another. For making me feel comfortable with You, almost a complete stranger at this time, in the middle of the night in some dark empty side street. For our conversations. For the beer. For a sightseeing tour at night. For not letting me spend the night on this bench across the street because no trains drove back anymore at this time but offering me a place by Your side in Your bed. For not taking advantage of me being completely sedated from all these pills - even though I wanted You to (; - but just holding me in Your arms and making me feel safe and special to You. Thank You for this very special night. And everything that came afterwards, that started there. I love You so much.

Reminder: Shit never goes according to plan. Things go wrong in the most bizarre and astounding ways. At the end of the day, you only get what you’re willing to fight for.

I don't want to pry to much but will Dovey ever meet your daughter?

Yes she will

Just the two of us

One of my Saskatoon berry bushes ripened a couple of weeks early, so Dovey made some jam <3

Which is the advantage of the padlock? Does she feel more imprisoned seeing and wearing them than integrated ones?

I like padlock locking mechanisms because I can use the locks I want, can key them all alike so that I’m not fumbling for keys, and don’t have to worry about them being rendered useless should the integrated lock break.

If they are so cheap and otherwise perfect, why not just replace them like every month or 2, before they wear off?

Because one can never know what’s in the metal cocktail that makes up the base metal. With China’s almost nonexistent consumer protection laws, there’s nothing stopping them from using pot metals containing cadmium, for example.

Right and proper.

Hi, just read about your cuff issue.. have you noticed already axsmar?

They have the same problem as all the others: No padlock locking mechanism. Everything is integrated.

Good afternoon sir any advice for a sub who was with an abusive dom (my first and only dom at 18 for 2 years). How to trust, to let go and give that control to someone again?

What you need to do is learn how to trust. And by “how to trust”, I don’t mean just trusting people again; I mean learning HOW to trust by learning how to recognize WHERE TRUST IS WARRANTED.

Many abusers will argue “But I trust YOU! Why won’t you trust me?” which is a blurring tactic designed to mask their treatment of your trust. If he takes advantage of your trust (regardless of the trust he professes for you), he is NOT trustworthy. Trust is a two-way street in the sense that your trust must be HONORED. Without honor, any reciprocated trust is meaningless. A strong relationship is one where your partner knows of your weaknesses and uses their own strength to support you where you need it. If he uses your weaknesses to manipulate you or make you feel bad or as a means of control, he’s an abuser.

Our modern civilization, in its quest for a simple and perfect moral code, has devolved it into such a binary definition of “good” vs “evil” that it becomes nearly impossible to judge people fairly. Pretty much every modern TV show or movie portrays a “good guy”, who always sticks to his morals, never does anything “dishonorable” even when the enemy uses underhanded tactics, and never harms another intentionally (with the exception of the “dirty” hero who does good by dirty but morally acceptable means). The “bad” guy is pure evil: vindictive, treacherous (especially to his own people), cruel, greedy, and sadistic. This childishly simplistic approach to morality leaves absolutely no middle ground, and the low, low bar for “evil” makes it impossible to judge real people with their multifaceted personalities. “Yes, he broke my jaw, but he’s a loving man. A loving man can’t be evil. I’d be calling him evil if I left, and he’s not evil.”

This is why I advocate “safe/unsafe” rather than “good/bad”. People are complex. They have many drives and behaviors. Your task is to recognize the dangerous behaviors and base your trust on that rather than the good things they say or do. And the earlier you can recognize them, the better. Bankers learn to spot fakes by first studying genuine bills. The more you study the genuine article, the quicker you’ll get that feeling that something’s off when you handle a fake. The same goes for people (and by extension, doms).

Good doms are consistent in their behavior. Their rules don’t change on a whim. They don’t punish for things you couldn’t have known about (and they certainly don’t punish AS THEY’RE MAKING THE RULE). They seek your growth. They impose structure and stability. They are a solid foundation. Study the real doms. Look at how they behave. Listen to what other people say about them. The more you study the real thing, the easier it becomes to recognize the fakes and abusers. Bad doms are insecure. They lack discipline. They can’t control their anger. They lash out childishly. They play the victim far too often. They blame everyone but themselves. They control out of insecurity. They’ll try to tally their good deeds to counter their bad. Remember: good deeds don’t cancel out bad deeds. Bad deeds are bad no matter what.

Abusive people also tend to genuinely believe that they’re NOT abusive, and so any attempts to draw their attention to their abusive behavior is perceived as a personal, unfair, and vicious attack. Just remember: It’s not your job to convince someone that they’re abusive. Your job ends when YOU yourself have recognized the abuse, and have taken steps to distance yourself from it. An unsafe person is not necessarily bad or “evil”, but he is ALWAYS someone to stay away from.

Hi! Re: Dovey’s stainless cuffs - Ring of Steel meets all your requirements and Vad Farkas’s craftsmanship is stunning. SM-Factory also makes fine pieces, but good luck trying to actually get one: they are VERY limited and ordering opens for about twenty-seconds once a month. Definitely check out Ring of Steel though.

Yes, their workmanship is excellent, but neither of them offers cuffs with padlock closures.

I’m beginning to think that I’ll end up making them myself…

My property.

My rules.

My way.

Daily Occurrence

Dovey: “Whaaaaat? You don’t have a word for that?! Well, in German we have a word for it!”

Is there no way of coating the cheap ones?

The problem is that they’re made from whatever metals they have on hand with a low melting point. The hinges wear out (I’ve had two break on me so far), and the quality control is abysmal (which is why they can sell them for $10).

And that really sucks, because as far as the physical shape goes, they are absolutely perfect. Every stainless steel cuff I’ve found has issues:

What’s available on the market is fine for periodic play, but when it comes to 24/7 wear, the pickings are depressingly slim.

Which cuff model is most gentle to her feet?

The cheap Chinese crap ones I wrote about the other day, unfortunately.

If I could just find them in stainless steel, I’d be a happy man.

For what official purpose did Walmart sell those cuffs?

They’re bike locks (for locking to a sign pole or parking meter). They still sell the longer versions in most stores.

Do those Master cuffs now replace her foot chain?

No. They’re just something I bought at Walmart a few years ago because they were so cheap for their BDSM potential ($35). They’re not at all suited for walking as the rubber coating would wear at the skin.

She’s just so much fun!!

How does it feel to not ever worry about money?

I dunno. I’ll let you know if I ever become rich.

Master Lock probably didn’t have this in mind when they developed the Street Cuffs. ;-)

You’d be hard pressed to find better security!

Hi Mathilda! My dom asks me to tell you that he loves and adores your blog! We both think you are an amazing couple! We're you a D/s couple from the beginning? Chained you from first date? Greetings from Berlin!


Hi freebyrestriction,

thank you for these kind words, very much appreciated (: I’m happy to hear you like our blogs.

We met on Tumblr through our blogs so we both knew right from the start what the other one is looking for and yes, we always were Ds - meaning the underlying structure of our relationship, the general hierarchy, but due to the special circumstances we gave it some time to let it manifest in our daily life in a natural way, and in general we both prefer an organic approach to Ds rather than planning everything out from the start, making rules, chaining, punishing, eating from the floor etc from day one.

We first met a month after we first talked and moved in together, ie Him moving from Canada to Germany, another two months later (which is insane and normally a set up for failure, it was my unique situation that made this necessary and we were lucky that it worked), so it would have been crazy to start where we are now at this time. Trust takes time to build and we didn’t have this time before we just more or less spontaneously decided to get involved, as Master and slave (or back then maybe rather Dom and sub), with each other. So no, He didn’t chain me up right from the start, or hurt me (much) or the like. This evolved over many months, and still is evolving.

We both had a gut feeling that we’re having someone and something special here - otherwise we wouldn’t have gone to such great lengths after this short time to be together in the first place - we really really wanted this to work, so not to rush things was the right approach. We needed time to get to know each other first, we needed to see if we even develop real romantic feelings for each other, beyond this initial excitement you always have about new relationships, before starting with all this Ms-stuff. Because we were both looking for more than just some Master-slave-arrangement but a serious long term relationship. And you can’t force this.

So yea, in the end everything happened pretty fast, but none of the things we do now were happening from the beginning. We started as a ‘normal’ couple only with Him in charge of everything, but He took His time to actually use this position/power to make sure we build an emotional basis first - Isn’t He perfect?! 😻

Thanks for the Ask, best wishes to the both of you.

Yes, we went into this very fast out of necessity. Had our situation been different I would have approached this very differently.

How important is having Dovey constantly plugged for you?

It’s important that there always be at least a few physical reminders of my ownership, and the plug is one of them. The shackles and collar are another.


Photographer: https://owner-of-the-object.tumblr.com

Cheap Chinese Crap

After 10 months of continuous wear, most of the chrome plating is gone from Dovey’s shackles.


It’s gotten so bad that it’s nearly impossible to wash all the copper oxide off her skin! Picture below taken AFTER a shower!


I’ve replaced them with fresh shackles for now, but this is only a temporary solution. It’s a shame that these don’t come in stainless steel! Every company that sells this model of shackle will lie and tell you that it’s stainless steel, but they’re all made by the same manufacturer out of chrome plated copper :/

Dignity is not for you.

When her being chained, how much time during the day is she attached to a fixed point with a shorter or longer chain?

Normally only when I’m torturing her. I have a longer length kicking about somewhere that I’ll hook up soon which will give her freedom to move about the main room.

The hours you spent on your make up and hair were pointless, as was that stupid little outfit which I burned.

Has she been made wearing and finally using diapers yet?

Uh… no. Not my thing.

Keeping her safe from everything.


Dovey wasn’t paying attention, and rear-ended another car.

Which are her limits, and are there limits you would actually prefer her not to have?



Hmm let’s see…

Her limits are:

  • Spiders
  • Climbing up extremely long flights of stairs without complaining
  • Carrying the rocks she collected at the beach up extremely long flights of stairs
  • Stingy pain

Actually I lie. She doesn’t like stingy pain, but I do it anyway :)

You forgot about 21, 24, 26 or 29 (too close to 20, 25 or 30) as a volume setting on the TV. Also leaving the ‘shave and a haircut knock’ (x-x-xx-x–xx) unfinished. And similar things. That’s the true hard limits in this house hahaha.

Oh yes, forgot about the autistic parts :)

Although I do sometimes deliberately set the volume to 21 or leave patterns unfinished just to fuck with her. The best one was in Germany when I cut off a song 3 notes from completion and she hit the roof :) :) :)

A good exercise program ensures she’ll stay healthy for years to come!

Hey sorry for my possibly cryptic question! I just meant whether you like her being pushed to her limits, and possibly somewhat beyond the limits of her consent?

Half the fun is pushing her a little farther than she’d willingly endure. When I do that, we both know that I own her completely, and that’s a precious thing.

Which are her limits, and are there limits you would actually prefer her not to have?

Hmm let’s see…

Her limits are:

Actually I lie. She doesn’t like stingy pain, but I do it anyway :)

Beauty in action

How much CNC is part of your way of keeping her?

I’m not really sure I understand the question. When I want something, I take it. She’s my property.

Always ready when needed.

Isn't it better if the slave really wants all the details she has to submit into? Or do you believe she needs some CNC as well?

It really depends on the people involved. One might desire to submit to anything he wants. Another might want to know to varying levels of detail what it will involve. Like in all relationships, there is no “one right way” to do it. Communication is key.

For my use.