Dovey came running in with a bird that had knocked itself out cold against the window :(
It’s important to keep the bird warm, but not squeeze at all, so you cup your hands around it like so:
It’s important to not let it sleep. After awhile, its beak will close, and its eyes will start to follow motion.
Once it’ able to stand on its feet, you can let it stand on its own.
Unfortunately, this little guy was trying to fly before he was ready, bouncing off walls and flying directly into the house again, so we had to keep him in a cage for a few hours until he had his wits about him :P
Hugs are one of my very important needs, my No1 bonding/comforting/feeling loved and cared for/intimacy - thing, and when I don’t get enough of them I easily feel neglected. (Long, tight) Hugs are just a crucial part of being happy in a relationship for me. My Master seemed to realize that even before I explained it in words because every time I said ‘I need a hug’ He instantly dropped whatever He was doing, even work, and opened His arms for me. About half a year ago, shortly after we came to Canada, during one of these hugs, I asked for a 'Hugs have priority over all other activities’ kind of rule, not because He would have ever ignored my constant need for hugs, but just because I like to 'formalize’ the really important things. So we established the Hugs First Policy. Meaning when I need a hug, I get it, no matter what and without unnecessary delay.
I love this rule and I have the best Master in the world ♥️
I’m very much a touch oriented person. Dovey is more verbal than I am, but when it comes to touch, we’re pretty close to the same level.
How did you and Dovey meet and where did the nickname Dovey come from?
We met online last year when she asked me a question via the blog. Later, my dad roped me into a trip to Europe to visit family, and, since she lived close to Cologne, I told her to meet me there. She got sick the week we were supposed to meet, so I changed our travel plans around to be in Cologne on my way back instead.
That day turned out to be a disaster. She was still sick, but didn’t want to blow me off again. The 30 minute train wasn’t running due to construction, so she had to take a special 2h bus that didn’t stop at the normal station, but rather a half hour walk away. She got there to discover that the bus only accepts special tickets bought at the train station, so she had to walk another hour to the station and back. Then her phone died. Actually, I’ve still got a copy of it…
When we finally met up, it was near midnight, and most stuff was closed or closing, but we managed to find a bar and have some Kölsch before they closed. Then we went to watch the bats fly around the cathedral.
When we were done, the trains were all stopped and she had no place to stay. I didn’t feel right taking advantage of her in her drugged out stupor, so we just cuddled in my hotel room overnight. The next morning she bought me triangle bread (it’s a thing in Germany).
As for the name “Dovey”, that comes from my childhood when we lived on the edge of a nature preserve. One day, a dove fluttered in to our deck and took a sip of my mother’s tea. My dad built a little loft under the eaves out of an old crate and the dove took up residence, and we named her “Lovey Dovey”.
In a lot of ways, it felt like Dovey had fluttered into my life, so I figured it fitting to call her “Dovey”. Unbeknownst to me, that’s also what her father called her as a child.
What restraints in the broadest sense can / must she apply herself for reminding herself of you?
The only thing that stays on 99.999% of the time is her collar. In the past year, it was removed for three doctor visits, as well as once when I filed down the edges, once when visiting her mother, and once when her mother visited us.
How have your flights been and do you like flying? I have a problem with flying because of my social phobia and dislike of crowds especially in a small space. I'm giving serious thought to booking all my transatlantic and transpacific flights in at least business class because I can't be stuck like a sardine next to other people as it causes me stress and other horrible side effects. I tried to desensitize myself but it failed. I don't make a lot of money so I'll have to spend all my savings.
Anyway, I am modest in my food and
lodging expectations when I travel and I do like to travel solo. My only
problem is flights when I’m forced to be in close proximity with
people. So you have ideas you could share how to survive coach on long
flights? I’ve tried to listen to music and occupy myself on the tablet
but I feel anxious when people hovering over me and it doesn’t really
matter if I’m aisle or window. I like my privacy. Any alternative to
Learn the layout of the most common jets (there aren’t that many), and then do whatever it takes to get a seat in an exit row next to bulkheads. Usually you have to pay “economy plus” to get it, which is a lot cheaper than business class. Get the window seat. When the plane takes off, tell the flight attendant about your anxiety and ask if it’s ok to sit against the bulkhead when the seatbelt light isn’t on. Usually they’ll be cool. That gives you a little corner to get some privacy in (nobody behind you or beside you).
I totally agree with you about the next decade. Chilling though. None of us are prophets but could you guesstimate what could go wrong in Canada or America, from points of view of weather, government, jobs? Will people fight over resources like food and water? Do you foresee a second civil war in the US and the rise of the far right in Europe?
Short term we’ll see a rise of the right and of nationalism everywhere. People are scared, and that makes one seek to protect the familiar. It won’t last, though, because it will hurt economies everywhere with crazy protectionist policies.
Europe will rise to its proper position on the world stage now that it can’t count on America. Even after Trump is out of office and things swing back left, the trust is lost and can’t be regained.
Everything in the middle East, Africa, southern States and parts of Asia will continue drying up and getting hotter, causing a refugee crisis like none we’ve ever seen. America probably won’t break up, but it’ll have some of the worst stress of its existence.
Extreme weather is the new normal, and will get worse. The east coast of America and Southeast Asia will be hit harder than ever before with storms. Europe will be ok so long as the Gulfstream doesn’t stop (that’s anyone’s guess).
It’s basically on par with the research I’d done on ecological forecasts in the early to mid 2000s.
Wow, seems like that other guy does not believe that Germany is a country of civilization, and even already has internet.
It’s pretty common. I’ve found in my travels that the differences aren’t always what you’d expect.
I’d expected Europe to be expensive, but it turns out that the cost of living is about half what it is in Canada and the USA.
Dovey’s mother had expected Americans to be friendlier than Germans, but when she got stranded in Seattle with no American money when her credit card failed to work, nobody would help her. Nobody would give her directions. Nobody would call a cab for her, or even let her use the phone. “Your problem, not mine.” was the general attitude.
I’d expected East Germans to be a sullen lot, but they were very lively, good natured, and helpful. There’s a thriving music scene in Leipzig, and the parks are beautiful.
It’s easy to judge people from afar, because you don’t actually have to see them.
Dude. That blows your giving all that up. Your really willing to give all that up, move to a foreign country. All for a girl? Your either high school boy crazy in love or bloody fucking nuts. I mean no disrespect. But either way, best of luck to you. And hopefully you'll still post once you move. Great blog you have here, mate.
I’m not giving it up; I’m renting it out while we’re gone.
I have, however, been called bloody fucking nuts for pretty much every major life decision I’ve made.
This is the road that leads to the little valley where our house is. You don’t see a single building during the last fifteen minutes on the ride to where we live. - And you know that you’re really far outside when Google Maps tells you to ‘Turn right onto Unknown Road’ when talking about your driveway 😺
Do you think, it would be better, if women would in general more often admit their ‘Hörigkeit’ (not translatable literally, see my answer for explanation)?
I’m not sure if this is a case of poor choice of words here, but I have to take you literally since I can only see what you wrote and not know what you meant…
Hörigkeit is (borderline-)total dependance on others or at least one other due to the incapability to think for yourself and (thereby) to make decisions on your own. Being hörig implies to have no choice than to submit. As you put it, you assume that all women are hörig (to whom btw?).
In my opinion this hypothesis is simply not correct. In fact Hörigkeit is a rather rare phenomenon I think and the exception, not the norm - and it occurs in males and females. All people are different, they are more or less independent and able to make their own decisions, it’s a spectrum and Hörigkeit is at one end of it so it is by definition an extreme. ‘Women are hörig’ is like ‘Men are retarded’ or ‘Children are psychopaths’. There certainly are retarded men and psychopathic children but these are rare exceptions, are extreme cases.
Ergo… There is no general female Hörigkeit, so there is nothing to admit. The same goes for submissiveness, if that’s what you meant.
I think it ‘would be better’ if anybody would just admit who they are, whatever that might be, and live by it. So if you are a submissive, it would be a good idea not to deny it. Same for dominance. And if you happen to be someone who is for whatever reason totally incapable of making own decisions and you need someone with total control over you, then yes, it would be best to admit that and make an effort to find a suitable partner because otherwise you could never be happy.
But nobody is in general x (x being a placeholder for literally anything you can think of, except ‘human’, and what being human necessarily, by nature entails like carbon based life form, alive or dead etc.)
(From here on not directly referring to the Ask, or its author, anymore, but meant as a general comment.)
This kind of mindset is a good example for what I was recently writing about mental patterns and how difficult it is for humans to mentally handle a large number of them. If we would see every person as an individual we would need 7.5 billion different mental boxes, for the human species alone. That’s impossible for us to process, so we reduce it to whatever number we, each of us individually, are capable of processing. On the lowest level that means forming dualisms, which we humans especially like, for their simplicity. Good and evil, body and mind, male and female, heaven and earth in old times. Or in this context, dominant and submissive, master and slave, superior and inferior. To just say all men are masters, all women are hörig to them (or should be) is the easiest way to free yourself from the burden of a free mind, from the necessity to observe, communicate, analyze. If everything is already set in one’s mind there’s no reason anymore to do that. If one’s dual patterns are actually realistic or accurate or not is irrelevant here.
I get it, that people like to do it anyway, it makes the world and life simple, it simplifies something too complex for us to figure out really. But is this the goal - to restrict your view, to limit your world so much, that you can physically touch its walls, metaphorically speaking? Sounds horrible to me, like a prison. But well, all people are different, some need tiny confined spaces to feel safe. I really get it, believe me, I just wouldn’t want to have this inside of my head.
Random thoughts: You know the so called honeymoon phase, right? These first few months of a relationship when everything is new and exciting and you can’t keep your eyes and hands off each other and talk a lot to find out everything about the other and the world is just perfect and life is good… After a year and getting married and everything we’ve been through it’s still not fading and I have this wonderful feeling, that it never will. We learned a lot about each other and we still talk about everything, can’t get enough of each other, and aren’t less excited about what we have than in the beginning. It’s even getting better over time.
@keepingher - I don’t love You the same anymore as last year, but so much more. And the more I learn about You the more I want to know about You. And the closer we grow together the happier I become. I hope this will never end ♥️
It’s true. Her mother’s comment when she was visiting: “You’re just like children, holding on to each other all the time!”
Could you please help with advice about using our iPhones while traveling? We are from the USA and are traveling next month to Europe and South Africa. We were told if we do nothing our cell phone won't work there. Is it possible to have them work there and how? Thank you.
There used to be issues in the past with phones that operated at fixed frequencies which were incompatible in other countries unless you got special “international” phones, but those days are mostly gone. Almost all phones nowadays support GSM, which is used in Europe. If your phone has a SIM card slot, it supports GSM. You do have to take care that your carrier doesn’t charge you exhorbident roaming rates. If you’ve had a phone under contract for 24 months, they are required to unlock your phone upon request. Even if you can’t get it unlocked, some carriers offer special travel packages nowadays.