What I love about my man?! This is going to be a loooooong post … (: (I couldn’t reduce it to one single quality I love the most, there are just too many that I equally love)
The points you mentioned are definitely qualities I admire about Him too.
But of course there is much more:
(in alphabetical order)
I love about Him, that He has a need for direct, open communication and that He has the ability and the will to communicate directly and openly what is important or relevant to communicate. If something I did bothers Him, if I made a mistake, if there is any kind of problem for Him, He doesn’t just get annoyed or angry but stays silent like so many men do it - which completely poisons the interpersonal atmosphere - but He comes and talks to me about it, instantly and in the most direct way*. He tells me what His problem is, we discuss and solve it. And after we did this, the subject is off the table, it’s over, there is no further discussion about it, no need for further discussion (because everything there is to discuss already has been discussed during the communication-process), and the situation has been resolved. Afterwards there are no negative feelings left, the harmony is restored.
(* I mean literally instantly, direct and open - best example for this just a few days ago. I woke up in the morning from a ‘Good morning Dovey’ and not a minute later, I didn’t even really open my eyes yet, He started telling me, that He didn’t like the tone of a text message I wrote Him during the night while He was sleeping. He read it in the morning, woke me up and instantly told me that He has a problem. - But He didn’t wake me up by telling me the problem, He woke me up by a lovely “Good morning Dovey” and then started to communicate His problem. I can’t imagine a better way to do it… well, maybe wait until after I had a coffee (: but in general it’s perfect like He did it, because He made sure, we didn’t start the day in a bad mood - His bad mood which I would have sensed and thereby gotten into a bad mood myself - but instead solved the situation first thing in the morning so we could start the day in harmony. And that’s exactly what it is about, this is the kind of communication, direct and instantly after the problem without delay, that preserves the harmony in a relationship.)
This relates to the paragraph above. I love it ( SO MUCH! - this really is an important point ) that He has a strong need for harmony. If we have an argument, He makes sure that we solve it. If there is a tense atmosphere between us He comes to me and hugs me or does something nice to resolve it. And He is not afraid or too proud to be the one who makes the first step.
This is especially important because I must admit, I have a problem to do that myself. I also have a very strong need for harmony, it bothers me extremely if there is any kind of disharmony between us, it makes me depressive, but I have a problem to make the first step to change it. This is a leftover from my ten year abusive relationship, in which it was always me who had to be the one to make this first step after an ‘argument’ (~him yelling at and insulting me because it is my fault that water is wet and it proves how worthless and terrible I am or the like), who had to make the move towards him and do something (usually saying that everything was of course my fault and apologize for being such a terrible person plus a blowjob or a similar sign of submission and surrender - which made my downright physically sick) to reestablish an atmosphere in which a normal life was possible again. Of course it’s a completely different situation with my Master now, but it just takes a while to get rid of this relict from the past, I’m still learning to do that. So I’m very grateful, that He is able and willing to be the one to make the first step after an argument sometimes when I’m not able to do it. Well, we don’t really have serious arguments, but generally speaking.
I definitely love this very much about Him. That harmony in our relationship is so important for Him and that He isn’t this kind of guy full of false pride that prevents Him to make the first step to solve a tense situation.
✜ He is a human being
He is, of course, naturally, a human being, as which He is not perfect and I love about Him that He is not this absolutely flawless, perfect creature some people (girls) here seem to perceive Him as. The Ask was about the qualities I love about Him so of course I list His positive traits, of which He has plenty. But as a human, He also does have His flaws and shortcomings and negative character traits that annoy me or that I don’t like like every other person including myself and I’m glad that He has these. I am a complete wreck, I’m physically and mentally ill and massively ‘flawed’ - whereas He, despite being a human being - is close to perfect by human standards in general already and even more by my personal standards in particular. If He would be even more flawless than He already is, I would feel completely unworthy of Him and my self-confidence would probably burn away in a second in the sunshine-like bright light radiating from His halo. No… that wouldn’t work. I’m too much of a mess to have a relationship with a saint. I love about Him, that He is not one, but does have His negative traits and annoying sides and flaws too.
He can be so funny. You guys have no idea… His sense of humor is something you don’t see on His blog but I guarantee you, it’s there, and it’s, in my opinion, a really good one. He makes me laugh every single day (some days several times - and I’m not exactly the most positive and cheerful kind of character) just by saying something funny. I definitely love that about Him.
✜ Intelligence & Manners
His intellect is also a quality I love in my man. It is important for me, that we can have a conversation beyond topics like the weather or Trumps pussy grabbing skills. It is important that He can follow my way to think, that He is capable of logical thinking, that He has a certain general knowledge and education.
I also like it when a man has good manners, which He has. A master should know how to behave himself in different situations, how to make a good impression, which my Master does.
He just is a very kind person in general. He is polite, friendly, He treats other people with respect (as long as they don’t give Him a reason not to) regardless of their appearance, gender, race etc, He is helpful, has always an open ear and helpful words for those who ask for it. That’s also something I love about Him.
✜ Kink / Fetishes
I like His personal type of kink, His fetishes, His kind of sadism, His preferences and aversions regarding sexuality etc. very much - they match mine virtually perfectly.
For example His sadism. He is not a generally sadistic person, ‘sadistic’ is not one of His character traits, it’s a fetish and that’s a huge difference. He doesn’t like to see me suffer, to torture me, to inflict pain on me in daily life, it’s only a sexual thing for Him, or rather, something in the realm of sexuality in the broadest sense. (One could say that this is a matter of course in BDSM - but no, in my experience it isn’t. It certainly should be, but there are more than enough Doms out there, outside and also inside of the community, who are character-sadists.) But at the same time, He is not the kind of sadist who wants me to enjoy it, He doesn’t need a masochist, He wants me to really suffer. Which is the only way SM works for me, because I am not a masochist, I can’t enjoy pain, pain does not turn me on - for me it is about serving Him by making a sacrifice for Him, which necessarily implies that I do really suffer. Perfect match.
I also love it, very much, about Him that D/s, M/s, TPE is NOT a kink or fetish for Him, but an identity, a lifestyle, a life. For me it’s the same. TPE is not a sexual thing - or not more or less as life is a sexual thing - but it is a relationship-concept, and He shares this point of view.
And the things that are (our) kinks and fetishes and that are not, our preferences, our limits, match very well too. We have exactly the same limits which gives us the freedom to have, in practice, no limits at all within our personal world of sexuality. Our aversions are also basically exactly the same, for example that we both don’t like this rubber and latex thing or that we don’t like others to participate in our sexuality (threesomes, gangbangs, swingerclub etc) and many other things; and so are our preferences.
I also love about Him that He is capable of, what I call, ‘sexual egoism’, to just take me and use my body for His sexual satisfaction. It surprises me in a way but in my experience that’s an exception among good Masters; most men who are capable of sexual egoism are at the same time egocentrics by character (= not good masters) and most men who are good masters have problems to completely focus only on their sexual impulses while ignoring their counterpart one’s. But I need a sexual egoist. I love about Him that He is capable of sexually 100% ego-centric behavior.
I love it about Him, that He matches me so well in all these ways, that He meets my needs in terms of sexuality so perfectly and that I meet His. And btw not only in sexual things, I love that we meet each others needs in general so well.
✜ Physical appearence
Of course I also love His physical attributes - His body is hot as hell (:
He has private sessions for boxing and yoga with a personal trainer/fitness- and nutrition-coach four to five times a week plus does His upper body-, core- and legs-workout almost every day, He doesn’t eat sugar, almost no carbs, salad for every breakfast and dinner, doesn’t smoke, drinks tea instead of coffee, drinks alcohol only rarely and lives in general extremely healthy – and (/which, in this extreme combination, is crazy, but) it shows! There is not a single gram of fat too much on His body, He has a perfectly firm body from top to toe. He is above average tall (6′2 / 190cm) and has the perfect height for me (5′7 / 170cm, so He is still taller than me even when I’m wearing high heels). He has such beautiful hands. Hands are very important for me, if I don’t like a man’s hands, I can’t find him attractive in general, the hands are my favourite part of a man’s body (they are the only part of the body that can touch you everywhere and in so many different ways and intensities, no other part can do that). And His are beautiful, strong hands with (very) long, delicate fingers and all time perfectly filed nails. Another thing… His skin. Oh my god, His skin *drools*! His skin is the softest I ever touched; seriously, I don’t exaggerate, I never met an adult man with skin this soft in my whole life before - His skin is really not normal, in the most positive way. And it’s so warm, always and everywhere, which is perfect since mine is always cold, so I can warm myself up by touching Him (which I do btw constantly, at every opportunity - my hands spend more time under His shirt than at any other place on this planet *g*).
Well… I stop here for the sake of readability (length of the post). I could go on with this paragraph forever but I think you got it by now - I find Him sexy as fuck, I love and most passionately adore every square centimetre of Him and I can’t get enough of this godlike body of His ♥ (:
✜ Possessive, protective and responsible
He is VERY possessive and VERY protective. He has a strong sense of ownership over me and He protects and fights for what is His against all odds. He really sees Himself as my Owner and I need Him to feel this way, I need Him to own me. I love it that I feel owned and protected by Him, I love about Him that He has this feeling of owning me and that He protects me no matter what. I love it that He is aware of the responsibility that comes with owning me and that He is not afraid to take it. And that He is this kind of character who is not only willing but actually capable of bearing such a huge responsibility and being someone another human being is completely dependant on, to care for another to this immense degree that is required in this kind of relationship, someone one can really rely upon as it is absolutely necessary to rely upon a Master as a slave. I love about Him that He is this, very rare, kind of master whom you just believe without doubt when he says ‘Everything is going to be alright’.
✜ Temper and attitude
He is most times very much even-tempered and calm. He doesn’t get angry easily, He doesn’t get loud or even aggressive - extreme situations that really are a reason to get loud or angry excluded of course, but towards me He never loses His temper.
What I also love about Him is, that He never really complains about things. He says He wouldn’t complain because complaining doesn’t make sense, it doesn’t change the situation, and objectively that’s of course right but most people do it anyway because it’s just a natural thing to do normally. Not for Him. When I warm my literally icecold hands under His shirt on His warm body He never complains that I’m causing Him an unpleasant physical sensation. When He had a very severe headache once He didn’t complain about the pain, He said nothing about it, He just suffered through it until it was over. When we had to wait for almost three hours at the foreigners office in order to get information about His residence permit and then missed our number and all the waiting was in vain and we had to come back another day and do it all over again, He didn’t complain about how annoying this is, He just said ‘Okay then let’s come back tomorrow, let’s get up early in the morning and be here 15 minutes before the office opens so that we don’t have to wait this long again and don’t miss our number again’. He never complains and I love that.
✜ The (not so) ‘little’ things (that mean so much)
I love it how He wakes me with a “Good morning Dovey” in the morning and how He ends my day with a “Good night Dovey” in the evening - while holding me in His arms. I love it how He strokes my hair while hugging me, while I’m sitting at His feet, while I fall asleep with my head on His shoulder. I love it when He plays the guitar for me; He plays so beautifully (and that’s an old recording, by now He is even much better). I love it that He is so attentive, that He notices it when I cleaned the kitchen, that He thanks me every time I made Him a tea, that He compliments me when I’m doing something well. I love it to hear Him say “Good girl”, “You are mine” or “You make me proud”. I love about Him that He is a sadist because I love to sacrifice myself for His satisfaction, entertainment and pleasure, I love it to see and feel that it turns Him on to hurt me and that it makes Him happy that I endure pain for Him. I love it how He holds me close in His arms after He hurt me. I love it how He looks while He is sleeping. I love it how He looks while He is working ~ concentrating. I love about Him that He is physically strong and able to defend Himself and to protect me. I love His job, programmer is definitely a ‘sexy’ job for (someone like) me. I already mentioned it, but once again: I love His supernaturally soft skin and I love His hands! I love His independence - He just follows His dreams no matter what others say, He does His thing regardless of other people’s opinion about it. I love about Him that He is a sensitive and emotionally deep person. I love about Him that He has a strong will, is very self-confident, assertive, mentally stable, organized, rational. I love about Him that He isn’t someone who subconsciously tries to compensate for something by dominant behavior, but is a ‘real’ Dominant, meaning a Dominant by character and genes, a classical ‘Alpha-male’. I love about Him that He loves me! I love about Him that He came to me, half way around the planet, when I wasn’t able to come to Him so we could be together which wouldn’t have been possible otherwise, I love about Him that He did that for me!
I could go on with this list forever. This is only a very small excerpt of the thousand pages book about everything I love about Him, but I think it still gives a good impression already of what it is, that makes my need to serve Him and to make Him happy no matter what, and what makes me myself happy with Him as my Master (:
Wow… I’m… speechless. I love many things about Dovey, but one of my favorites is her mind. With her, ideas aren’t just things to pass through one’s head, but rather playgrounds and puzzles to explore in great depth. Concepts are for following to their logical conclusion. Inconsistencies are to be resolved, no matter how long it takes. She’s one of those rare people who doesn’t suffer from cognitive dissonance. What she says is what she truly believes, and she’s more than prepared to supply evidence to support her reasoning.
P.S. The reason why my skin is soft like that is largely because of my diet. What you eat has a HUGE effect on all parts of your body, including your skin. I also don’t use soap on my skin except in extreme circumstances (grease or dirty motor oil or something).